To cancel our holiday

[Barnumshumbug]

I've name changed for this. I have a 13yr old DS who refuses to go on holidays. He doesn't like travelling at all. There's no real reason behind this. He's NT with no issues.

We have two other children both older. for the last four years we haven't had a holiday as DS refuses to go on one. We were tentatively talking about going abroad this year, as it's not really fair on the other two. They were so excited, however predictably DS had such hysterics, we've booked a hol in the UK. Since we booked, just after Christmas, DS has moaned and sulked every day and it's not until July.

I'm so at the end of my tether with it. I'm trying to understand DS and talk with him, but his only answer is he doesn't like being sat in cars for a long time. I'm also trying to balance out the needs of my other children. I'm actually getting to the stage where I'm thinking of sending DH with the older ones and I'll stay at home with DS. Or

I know in the scheme of things, this isn't a huge problem, but I've been sat in tears this morning feeling so frustrated that he's sulking again.

Can anyone suggest what they would do ?

OP read back you own opening post, and ask why YOU are allowing a child to dictate your life.

Ask someone to have you son for week and take the older ones away on holiday. Explain to him that he can not keep behaving like this it is totally unacceptable to expect his siblings not to have a holiday when even he can not explain in good enough terms as to why he objects so much.

If you allow this to carry on OP you will end with only one child as your older ones will start to distance themselves from you as you have and are constantly letting your youngest to dictate family life. I'm betting he also stops other family things from happening as well.

Did the OP ever come back?

There's NO way of let him get away with this!
He's either got to suck it up or you all go on a lovely holiday and he stays behind!
He is being totally unreasonable and if he doesn't give (what you deem) a valid explanation as to why he doesn't want to go; he's going and that's final!

@Barnumshumbug have you gone on holiday since starting this thread!?

LOL!

This can't possibly be true, can it? That poor family being held hostage by one...

Leave him home. It's not that hard.

I’m really sorry to say this but your pandering to him and it will get worse. In life he will have to do things he doesn’t want, your teaching him he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want and that in the coming years will be extremely hard.

My cousin was exactly the same, in the end my auntie said it’s a holiday ( a treat a lot of families can’t afford ) your going. Moan ... tv gone moan again more punishments.

You have to put your food down and hat ever you do do not allow him to stay at home with you while dad takes the others your a family and everyone is going.

Eufff, I’m chew my arm off bored as I type. I’ve done this journey at least 2x year for the last 40 years and now my dcs are beside themselves with boredom. We’ve just had an some amazing holiday and spent time together, it’s worth it.

If he's kicking off because he just doesn't want to go theni would tell him he's going & if he still true to refuse tell him he's staying with family & your going without him..have family set up ready if he really won't go though.if he's refusing to go because it's a week with no technology then I would go around and collect all his PS4/Xbox stuff today from your house today & box it up & hide the lot..also laptops/ iPads are now for homework only..nothing social..minimise any use including a phone if he has one..he needs a severe reality check..if he's 13 & won't follow any basic family rules you make at this age he's going to be an absolute nightmare given a few more years of him getting away with everything he wants..we all follow rules through life & at 13 he follows yours & your husband's..he's not an adult,he's a child..im just generalising but it seems to me a flipping spoilt one at that.no more softy mum..get though !!!!

Sorry get tough !!! X

How did it go?

My 13 dd doesn’t really like going away. She prefers home and can be anxious

However I make her have holidays as I want them and so do the rest of the family

Too bad if she winges before hand.

Once we are there she generally settles down as there nothing she can do.

Make him bloody go.

The more you let him control everything now, the worse this behaviour will get. If you've arranged a family holiday then he's going on holiday. If it's really so terrible that he has a toddler tantrum on the day then just cart him off to grandparents or something, but even this is a huge compromise.

Definitely don't pander to him again! I completely understand you doing it because you're trying to be sympathetic, but he's being favoured over his other siblings and it's only going to make him more difficult to deal with as he gets older.