To have fallen out with my brother today

[Iswallowtoothpaste]

My DB has a little girl’s whose just turned 2. We have a 5 YO DD who can be noisy, energetic and ever so slightly irritating at times but there’s no nastiness with her. She’s lovely and gentle with her little cousin.

My brother has been going through a hard time recently, he’s split with his GF who has gone back to her ex, fair enough, not the best of thugs to have to go through.

I’ve noticed recently that he’s been really quite short with DD. Sometimes it’s maybe called for example being if she’s getting in Dniece’s face a bit much but other times it feels like he’s snapping because he doesn’t like her.

If she tries to give him a cuddle he recoils - just recently I get the feeling that he absolutely dispises her.

Last week he’d snapped at her yet again so I’d snapped at him back and asked what his problem was. He said nothing and that he was just having a bad day so I reminded him that I wasn’t DD’s fault that he was having a bad day and that I wouldn’t dream of snapping at his little girl like that.

Today he came round again with DN. He changed her nappy as soon as he got here. DN was still laid on the floor and trying to pull her shoes off. DD went over and pulled her shoes off for her, we have a rule about no shoes in the house and DD was talking about this rule as she took the shoes off. My brother then walks back into the living room whilst DD is taking the shoes off and tells her to stop taking them off as he’s just put them back on. DD replies ‘but we have a rule that we’re not allowed to wear shoes isn’t thw house.’ I’m absolute mortified by what happened next, he grabbed my DD and plonked her down, pretty much from mid air with no care whatsoever, she stumbled back, didn’t hurt herself but it was the manner in which it was done. He had a face like thunder and it was quite aggressive like he couldn’t control his temper. He then snatched the shoes off DD and swore at her. I’ve told him to get out of our home. I wouldn’t dream of doing that to my own child never mind someone else’s.

I’m so upset for DD. After he’d gone she said ‘he hates me, doesn’t he?’

There’s no nastiness in her at all. She shares and plays nicely and is so gentle with younger children. Even her teachers have commented on how lovely she is with the younger children in the school.

I’m so upset and shocked by his behavior.

Ridiculous to compare this to an adult and child. That's such a precious argument to make. We don't treat children like fully grown adults and neither should we.

Sorry but I don't follow this comment. Of course we don't treat children like adults but we do treat them as human.

Was your comment in support of the brother or against? I genuinely don't know.

Also, even though she's gone now, how does SalemBlackCat4 get her underpants on with such a visceral foot phobia and sock distrust? Does she put her wellies on first? Or sleep with them on?

@SalemBlackCat4 have you every been to a village in a third world country? Cattle and people co-exist. Frankly humans are more dangerous than cows or sheep for that matter. Animals don't harm humans unless they are provoked.

As for getting shoes on carpet...you are very grim. Foot bacteria is less harmful than the dirt and germs that we get on shoes. Actually feet are cleaner as they are covered when outside. We like our carpets but we prefer not the bring outside germs inside. We do have inside slippers and provide slippers to people who want them but no way we will let anyone wear outside shoes inside. Bare feet might be grim but what you are suggesting is even grimmer.

And I am sorry OP got derailed. You are right. Adults should know better. Even the sweetest of kids can be annoying but as adults we should know how to redirect them and deal with these things. Anyone who hasn't learnt this has serious issues and should be around any kids. Not any one elses or their own.