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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fucking NYE

184 replies

Mississippilessly · 01/01/2019 00:55

At my MIL's. 15 week old DS. I didn't want to come but DH and I compromised and agreed we wouldn't stay over. We packed stuff 'just in case'. Of course we stayed. DS utterly overwrought. House is full of noisy people. MIL convinced me to stay when I just wanted to go home. She assurer me it woykd be quiet. DS currently asleep in my arms. Stirs when I try to move him. I've managed an hours sleep so far. I've been awake since 4am yesterday. I am on my knees. DH just doesn't seem to get it.
I'm done. I've nothing left. I can't function on this little sleep.

So utterly fed up. Happy fucking new year.

OP posts:
Cheesenacho123 · 01/01/2019 03:26

Is he getting a nights sleep whilst your up with the baby feeding and holding him? Or is he taking him so you can sleep between feeds? I’m assuming you feeding us breast feeding. If bottle hand him the bottle and hand him the baby.
Feeling for you I really am. 💐

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 01/01/2019 03:29

cheese he takes him sometimes.
I feel numb. I'm holding DS again. DH is on the floor.
Think that's it for me and sleep tonight. My head hurts. I just want it all to stop

OP posts:
IShitGlitter · 01/01/2019 03:29

is there anyone in the house sober or hasnt drunk tonight I would be asking them for some help.

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 01/01/2019 03:32

House is full of sleeping people.

Never felt more alone or more utterly clueless about where I go from here.

I'd cry if I had the energy.

OP posts:
IShitGlitter · 01/01/2019 03:33

have you tried co sleeping? If DH is on the floor leave him there get in bed with baby take all pillows off the bed i could never co sleep with pillows and have him next to you with your arm kind of around him

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 01/01/2019 03:36

I had a drink. I've tried before and it didn't really help, he is as settled in his sleepyhead. Right now he is on me.

OP posts:
StoppinBy · 01/01/2019 03:37

As above, that's how we ended up once I had wiggled down, top arm to stop them wriggling up the bed, arm around stops them wriggling over and knees stop them wriggling down.

I would also physically push the doona down so it only comes halfway up your body and can't accidently flick over baby's face.

Please call whatever help line you have available to you, just talking to someone who understands makes so much difference to working out what to do next xx

IShitGlitter · 01/01/2019 03:40

if youve got your sleepyhead with you cant you just put it in the bed and youvgwt next to it and sleep?

Weenurse · 01/01/2019 03:40

Get through the night, give baby to DH after next feed and go to sleep. Wake to feed baby and then back to sleep again. In a house full of people, they should be able to care for baby while you sleep.

Marcipex · 01/01/2019 03:40

Is it impossible to put your baby down? Do you have a crib or safe sleeping place. I used to be very good at this, easing them down, keeping my hands on them for a few minutes, leaning over so they could still smell me. Then creep off to brush your teeth, and get a glass of water.
Your DH must step up, or you'll be falling asleep while holding him anyway. Your resolution needs to be, look after yourself.

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 01/01/2019 03:42

He wakes everytime I try to put him down. Then it's shush pat etc. I just don't have the energy. I may as well sit and hold him. I can't sleep anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mississippilessly · 01/01/2019 03:44

The sleepyhead is in the top bit of the snuzpod which is on the bed (figured that would be more like home than on the floor)

OP posts:
Elianna · 01/01/2019 03:44

OP can your in-laws take him for a bit while you sleep? Especially if your DH is being an insentive dick.

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 01/01/2019 03:44

Everyone is asleep

OP posts:
Elianna · 01/01/2019 03:47

I feel terrible for you, I've been there and it's horrendous. I really think your DH should be helping, this is very unfair on you and you deserve help and support.

sollyfromsurrey · 01/01/2019 03:49

Seriously? Just walk into your MILs room, hand them your DS and leave. Get done sleep. If they try to hand him back, pretend to be asleep. They will then learn why it's not wide to disrupt a baby's needs.

PipsM · 01/01/2019 03:50

I don’t have any real advice for you lovely but you’re not alone. I’m up feeding my 7 month for the third time since I went to bed at 10.30 (bloody teething!)
It does get easier but it can’t be nice being at someone else’s house when you dont want to be.

Can you wake DH at 7 and go home, giving him the baby to look after in the day just bringing him to you for feeds? Then you could get some sleep.
Also what is your health visitor like? Could you chat to her? You definitely need to put yourself first.

Going forward could you express or give a formula bottle so you can sleep when DH gets home until 12? He could do the 7-12 slot and then you do 12-6 and swap back again? The baby belongs to both of you.
Hope you get some sleep.

Elianna · 01/01/2019 03:51

I'd definitely do what @sollyfromsurrey suggested. It's not a good idea to co-sleep when you're overly tired or had a drink.

Marcipex · 01/01/2019 03:51

Poor you, and obviously now isn't the time, but do practise putting him down, when you are less frazzled. It's very useful to not have to hold them, and I never left mine to cry, just got them confident enough to relax alone.

I guess you'll sleep tomorrow, when the household wakes up.
Also, you haven't let DS down! He's a cherished little baby, who cried because he didn't like the noise, but he won't remember anything about it.

Marcipex · 01/01/2019 03:55

I wouldn't wake anyone who's been drinking, to care for DS, in case they are too sleepy to keep him safe.
It's not fair to you, but it's only for tonight.

DaveDave · 01/01/2019 03:55

I've been there and it is utterly exhausting. Big hugs. No other advice than the wise people above. Be on the lookout for PND. The inability to sleep even when my baby eventually did sleep was a big warning sign for me.

BusterGonad · 01/01/2019 04:02

My son was a terrible terrible sleeper, I had a blow up bed next to his cot for the first year or two. I'd slept with my hand through the bars. I hated my husband for the first few years, him enjoying sleep. Me having no sleep. I was/am a sahm, he goes to work. Not much point imo in both of us being knackered, at least in the day I could try to catch up on sleep. We would often have a sleep in the big bed at about 2ish in the afternoon but apart from that he didn't nap either! It was a tough through years!

BusterGonad · 01/01/2019 04:02

My son was a terrible terrible sleeper, I had a blow up bed next to his cot for the first year or two. I'd slept with my hand through the bars. I hated my husband for the first few years, him enjoying sleep. Me having no sleep. I was/am a sahm, he goes to work. Not much point imo in both of us being knackered, at least in the day I could try to catch up on sleep. We would often have a sleep in the big bed at about 2ish in the afternoon but apart from that he didn't nap either! It was a tough through years!

BusterGonad · 01/01/2019 04:02

My son was a terrible terrible sleeper, I had a blow up bed next to his cot for the first year or two. I'd slept with my hand through the bars. I hated my husband for the first few years, him enjoying sleep. Me having no sleep. I was/am a sahm, he goes to work. Not much point imo in both of us being knackered, at least in the day I could try to catch up on sleep. We would often have a sleep in the big bed at about 2ish in the afternoon but apart from that he didn't nap either! It was a tough through years!

BusterGonad · 01/01/2019 04:03

My son was a terrible terrible sleeper, I had a blow up bed next to his cot for the first year or two. I'd slept with my hand through the bars. I hated my husband for the first few years, him enjoying sleep. Me having no sleep. I was/am a sahm, he goes to work. Not much point imo in both of us being knackered, at least in the day I could try to catch up on sleep. We would often have a sleep in the big bed at about 2ish in the afternoon but apart from that he didn't nap either! It was a tough through years!