Fucking NYE

[Mississippilessly]

At my MIL's. 15 week old DS. I didn't want to come but DH and I compromised and agreed we wouldn't stay over. We packed stuff 'just in case'. Of course we stayed. DS utterly overwrought. House is full of noisy people. MIL convinced me to stay when I just wanted to go home. She assurer me it woykd be quiet. DS currently asleep in my arms. Stirs when I try to move him. I've managed an hours sleep so far. I've been awake since 4am yesterday. I am on my knees. DH just doesn't seem to get it.
I'm done. I've nothing left. I can't function on this little sleep.

So utterly fed up. Happy fucking new year.

This brings me back. You will go down tomorrow morning and MIL will say, oh what sort of night had you? you will say 'oh DS slept about 3 hours in total'. MIL will say 'oh that's not so bad!' and move on...
Then she'll persuade you to stay for lunch when you had already told her you were going after breakfast.

I am incapable of making decisions anymore. I don't know what's normal so I let others persuade me.
I'm so so desperate for unbroken sleep.

seaweed how right you are.

DS deserves so much better.

Sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique.

Do take care.

Honestly, I'm sorry you're feeling wretched, but your baby will be fine.
Just put him down safely in his crib, lie down yourself and go to sleep.
He'll know you're close by.

Tomorrow, make DH do everything while you sleep.

Another time, get in the car, smile and wave, and go. Be tougher. Don't be a pushover and then boil with resentment, remember, you hold all the cards.

Your MIL has clearly forgotten sleepless nights, anxiety and fractious baby let alone having to take this all to her own MIL house. Very selfish of both her and DH. Apple doesn't fall far...

Try and think about having to get up any minute now before the alarm goes...- that usually does the trick for me and and I'm in the land of nod in 2minutes

DS deserves so much better.

YOU DESERVE BETTER. Start asking for it.

 That's awful OP.
Tomorrow morning get home ASAP and spend the day napping. Your DH can look after the baby. He's got some work to do after this.
Ride it out, it'll soon be over.
Something similar happened to me and it only hit home for DH when I spent an entire journey home quietly weeping with exhaustion. It's not right but you'll soon be home x

Can you pull the crib up next to your bed? I used to sleep with one arm out of the bed with my hand stroking my baby's cheek. Night after night! Hope you get some rest.

You poor love :(
My GP gave me a lecture when I told her I'd had 4.5 hours sleep in 3 bits. You need a three or four hours in one go to count. Anything less is almost pointless. I ended up on anxiety medication but really it was lack of sleep.

I can't sleep.
Last night was such a rush I haven't even cleaned my teeth. I feel horrible.

You need a three or four hours in one go to count. Anything less is almost pointless. I ended up on anxiety medication but really it was lack of sleep.

I had proper symptoms of depression. I wasn't depressed, just sleep deprived. DD didn't sleep properly for two years. But at least my DH was great about it.

Going without sleep and becoming exhausted makes even the simplest decision so darned difficult. Please be kind to yourself. Xx

I was thinking of you earlier.

Do what you need/want to do. Do it for yourself because you need to be there for DS. Tell DH when you expect to go home. If he's not ready just say you'll call a cab.

Take care of you. Hugs.

OP

Thing is it isn't DHs fault I'm a pushover. He said wr could cancel. I just gave into MIL pressure.
He isn't an arse. He took the baby from 4-8 Xmas day morning and similar a couple of days later. He just doesn't get it. He tries to be positive by saying I am coping.

Lesson learned. Next year stay at home and if DH wants to visit the family leave him to it.

Back in the day we had a situation where we were supposed to drive over the Pennines to visit in laws for new years day dinner. What actually happened was that as soon as we arrived the men all f**d off to the pub. I was expected to mind two kids and help make the dinner, so the men in the family could enjoy their day with no strings attached.

After one attempt at this, we stayed at home. DH was told he was welcome to go, but without a designated driver (me) he decided it was not going to be much fun.

He is feeding again. Joy.

Thing is it isn't DHs fault I'm a pushover.

No, it isn't. So work on it. We all have stuff to work on. And you have a son now. You have to model how to be assertive.

Your OH is an utter arse, your MIL is an utter arse, and you are too tired to stick to your 'no'. I don't blame you. You sound exhausted. Please, please try and stick up for yourself or this will happen over and over.

I've just told my DH that I feel suicidal. His response was 'that's really not advisable'. I then told him I have had an hrs sleep tonight. He told me I was wrong and I've had an hr and a half. I had to go through and explain why he is wrong

I've told him I can't believe the person he has become since DS was born. He said neither can he.

Don't know where I go from here.

Everything is so much harder at night when you are getting no sleep.

Our first born was a fantastic sleeper, our second has only started sleeping through in the last few months (19mnth old) and still sometimes regresses.

Some nights I would be so dead tired that I would just hold him while I fed him and bawl my eyes out while wanting to slap my snoring husband across his stupid snoring nose. If you are able to express (I never could) I would try to get baby to take expressed milk from a bottle and get hubby to do some of the night feeds. Even one decent nights sleep a week will change how you feel.

It sounds to me that the only thing your hubby probably should have done tonight but didn't is went against you and said that now the car was packed you were going home, sorry Mum, see you later. Maybe ask him to do that for you in the future if you know that this might happen again.

My second was constantly sick with nasty colds and ear infections right from a newborn (DD started kinder a few months before he was born) and I often had to hold him all night as he would either wake up coughing/choking on snot or from not being able to breathe once he was laying on his back. Despite being scared of co - sleeping I learned to wiggle down on to my side once he was asleep and lay him on his side with my arm around him and I could doze a little, some weeks I would have had no sleep without doing this even though it scared me. I could do this without waking him.

Maybe you could give something like that a go on the nights bub isn't sleeping.

Just read your last update. Your husband is a prick, mine never would have done that to me, not in a million years.

Please find someone you can talk to, as hard as it is to see, if you get through this it will get better. Call you Maternal Health Nurse line if you have one, ours is 24 hours, hopefully you have the same.