To murder DH and my in laws in pregnancy induced rage?

[MrsHughGrant]

I've got hyperemesis gravidium. I've had it for 7 weeks and I'm in hell. Been signed off work, I vomit from when I wake up until I go to sleep. I've been in and out of hospital. I'm on medication now but I'm still sick constantly and I'm so tired and I just have no energy.

DHs extended family all came over for 5 nights over Christmas, it was pre-arranged, Christmas and I battled through. I didn't stay in bed and mope I showered and put makeup on and tried to be a good host despite how awful I felt. Played with the kids, cooked for the adults etc. They left 2 days ago and I was so exhausted from the time they were here I slept for 14 hours, woke up just to eat (and spew) and then passed out again. Today I am still completely exhausted, the house is a shit hole, I've thrown up five times and I just feel like crap so I said to DH I'm not going to make it to your mums later feeling like this, but go without me obviously and have fun.

The fucker turns around and says "they're coming here remember?" I thought he was joking but nope, got 5 adults and 5 children all coming back at 3 for the next 2 nights. He has not told me this. I know exactly why he hasn't told me this as I'd say no and now I don't know what to do. He's said can't I just do what I did the other day and power through and get the house sorted. I'm just lying in bed crying now I feel so peopled out I just can't do it. I just want to sleep. I just can't think of another option other than murder.

YY to compensation! If Bombardier's twatty comments are taken into account you might get a free holiday as well.

DH has been a saint the entire pregnancy so far, I hadn't lifted a finger around the house whilst signed off work. He'd pretty much waited on me hand and foot. But apparently he switches off entirely over Christmas and becomes a man child. He's asked me to get the house sorted as he's in town buying food and has said "I'll cook tonight" as if that makes it better! Might lock him out the house from the inside. Chains and all.

To the pp who are damning OP for her, quite obviously not serious, suggestion of murder, get a life.

OP, just say no however many times it takes for your 'D' H to get the message that you will be doing sweet FA for the visit. Get food and drinks and hole up in your room!!

Your dh is unbelievably selfish and inconsiderate. I don't even understand why you agreed to them staying for FIVE DAYS over Xmas when feeling so poorly? Are you a bit of a martyr op?

Please don't agree to this op. Your dh is being horrible, but it's not surprising considering his family are the same. How people can descend on a pregnant, poorly woman for extended periods and expect her to host is just beyond me.

Stay in bed. He does all the work. Make the odd appearance.

He's not a saint.

He's done a number on you so he can adopt a particular persona around his parents and family.

Your comedic hyperbole in the thread title possibly reveals you suspect this, deep down.

Insist he cancel! And if not, don’t you lift a finger. Let him be shown up as the arse he is.

@Floralhousecoat Agreed to the 5 days months ago, the kids were really excited and I had missed 3 of their birthdays being sick so just tried to be nice in the spirit of Christmas and not cancel I guess. Guessing now they think I'm ok to host because I forced myself to at Christmas and think it's ok to come back. Sigh

No, you are not cleaning, cooking, helping in any way. You need to look after yourself, the last thing you want is to end up worse than you are.

Keep saying “No, I’m not up to it.” Repeat over and over if needed.

If he’s out shopping, couldn’t he take the food to someone else’s house? It’s not too late to relocate.

Don’t feel pressured. Stay in bed. Your health comes first

Tell him to phone everyone and cancel or rearrange it at someone else's house.

He and everyone else involved is being inconsiderate and selfish.

Why the hell does he think it's your job to sort the house?

If it's not cancelled I'd book a hotel for the next couple of nights and leave them to it.

Loads of good advice upthread OP. Just wanted to say I know how you feel and it’s very difficult for others to understand unless they’ve suffered through it. It really is hell on earth.

But when baby is born, it’s like being brought back to life - the most amazing feeling!

Leave everything to him, OP. Make the occasional (ghostly) appearance when you feel well enough to assume a vertical position without actually vomitting.

And make sure he tells the guests not to lock the bathroom door under any circumstances, as you need immediate access when you chuck up!

What a pillock he is.

OP don't do a thing in the house. You're not well enough, you need to rest.

Either he goes there or he does everything, you've already drained yourself with one lot of visitors, it's totally unfair to drop this on you.

Is he stupid? Or is he a selfish wanker? Based on the evidence I would suggest he’s both. Tell him no fucking way is this happening.

Stay in bed. He does all the work. You DON'T appear at all.

Did any of the dc get a bike for Christmas?
Kill dh, you now have a new bike stand.

No way should you ‘sort the house’,

Stay in bed, ignore him completely and let him crack on.

In fact I’d text his family and say as you are suffering from hyperemesis you over doing it during Christmas to entertain them has made you even worse and now you can barely sit up with out being sick so you will be resting as per doctors orders.

Lay it on thick, make them feel like the utter shots they are for imposing on you whilst you’re unwell.

Make a list of everything that needs doing and give it to your husband

Fuck that, just stay in bed and refuse to do ANYTHING. I'm sure a grown man is capable of working out hosting by himself without a fucking memorandum from his dw jc!

You powered through at Christmas so he thinks you are faking it. He will think you're doing it because you hate his family and hold it against you.

I'm going to make an alternative suggestion. Get up, greet your guests. Then throw up all over your OH. Apologise profusely telling them it's the umpteenth time you've vomited today then go to bed.

In fact I’d text his family and say as you are suffering from hyperemesis you over doing it during Christmas to entertain them has made you even worse and now you can barely sit up with out being sick so you will be resting as per doctors orders.

Actually, this is a great idea.

He's a thoughtless twat. Don't be a martyr, stop in bed. Anyone who doesn't understand HG isn't worth losing any sleep over.

Make him do everything. And if he doesn't agree to it, lock him out of the house or go to a hotel. Because honestly is keeping up appearances really more important than how you're feeling

He's asked me to get the house sorted
Bollocks to that. Stay in bed. Or do you have family/friends you could go to for a quiet couple of days?

Don't you dare 'power through' or make a grown adult a list of things to do Look after yourself.

Are the DC old enough to help? Honestly, I'd just be telling him they can't come. Get the house ready? Has the laundry from their last stay even been done? And how dumb are they to willingly come again knowing how shit you feel?