To murder DH and my in laws in pregnancy induced rage?

[MrsHughGrant]

I've got hyperemesis gravidium. I've had it for 7 weeks and I'm in hell. Been signed off work, I vomit from when I wake up until I go to sleep. I've been in and out of hospital. I'm on medication now but I'm still sick constantly and I'm so tired and I just have no energy.

DHs extended family all came over for 5 nights over Christmas, it was pre-arranged, Christmas and I battled through. I didn't stay in bed and mope I showered and put makeup on and tried to be a good host despite how awful I felt. Played with the kids, cooked for the adults etc. They left 2 days ago and I was so exhausted from the time they were here I slept for 14 hours, woke up just to eat (and spew) and then passed out again. Today I am still completely exhausted, the house is a shit hole, I've thrown up five times and I just feel like crap so I said to DH I'm not going to make it to your mums later feeling like this, but go without me obviously and have fun.

The fucker turns around and says "they're coming here remember?" I thought he was joking but nope, got 5 adults and 5 children all coming back at 3 for the next 2 nights. He has not told me this. I know exactly why he hasn't told me this as I'd say no and now I don't know what to do. He's said can't I just do what I did the other day and power through and get the house sorted. I'm just lying in bed crying now I feel so peopled out I just can't do it. I just want to sleep. I just can't think of another option other than murder.

I guess she was not really functioning properly and was just relieved that he agreed not to bring whis family back to the house for a few more days of partying. There are some things a person shouldn't have to say. Like telling your dumbass husband he needs to stay home and look after OP when she's already been in hospital 5 times. I would tell him not to bother coming back TBH.

Could you maybe have a quiet word with one of the nurses and get them
To explain to your DP exactly what you are going through and how Ill you are?

Don't let anyone be dismissive of how sick you are, and on top of that you're growing a baby too. Your body is going through so much.

So glad they left you too it and hope you feel better soon.

Maybe nice SIL needs to step up and speak to DH

And also what shocks me is how quickly woman forget how awful the early stages are without the added HG diagnosis

I can’t believe how unsympathetic they are being-plus showing a monumental lack of awareness.

You’ve been hospitalised loads already-do they think that was just for a laugh?!

Your DH needs a massive shake and so does his mum

Yes that’s true, OP does need to get comfortable with being assertive and saying what she actually means, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that never in a million years would my OH leave me on my own in this scenario, no matter how insistent I might be. He wouldn’t be asking my permission to go, he’d be insisting he would stay and look after me.

The DH seems really quite clueless and thoughtless.

Yes sorry it was nieces/nephews, not OPs Children!

But still. If I had HG my OH would have actually made an effort to read up on it and would have been well aware as to how serious it is and would absolutely not have carried on as normal while telling me to ‘pull myself together, it’s only pregnancy.’ What a twat.

Seriously I hope he’s properly ashamed of himself. And I hope he works very very hard at making it up to you.

to you, OP. Hope you are improving.

Yay for nice SIL but so sorry you are back in hospital and I can’t belive your husband left you from shopping and didn’t come home until the following day. He is a complete dick and if he knows that good. Everyone will know that he left his pregnant wife alone to get so ill she was back in hospital.
He should be apologising for the rest of the pregnancy

Stay in bed. Let them get on with it. You poor woman 😘

The OP told him to go.

Don't know how he is supposed to take her health seriously if she doesn't.

He should have shown concern, whatever she said, instead of being fixated on partying with his family.

I hope you are resting now, OP. Definitely get medical people to tell H the seriousness of your condition.

Don't know how he is supposed to take her health seriously if she doesn't.

If someone you loved had been admitted to hospital five times, and was saying they were OK, wouldn't you suspect that their thinking was a bit skewed - possibly from dehydration, or possibly from not wanting to ruin Christmas for others?

Plus which, she did say she couldn't cope with another visit and he suggested she 'power through'.

Yeah, pregnancy itself might not be an illness, but it had already caused Op to be hospitalised 5 times!

How many times has a "side effect" of something put him in hospital??!!

Listen to the pp who was a nurse. Op don’t want to sound patronising but as a mother you will have to prioritise your child and this may well piss off other adults occasionally. But you have to do it. In pandering and being “nice” to in-laws you put yourself and therefore your baby at risk. In the nicest possible way you need to woman up if not for yourself for your child.

💐

Has anyone here got much experience with cyclizine? I used to suffer from panic attacks 5+ years ago and haven't had one since. My first day on cyclizine today as I'd been on metroclopramide which wasn't really working for me and I've had a massive panic attack. Could it possibly be linked to the medication? Me and dh have sorted it out and he's been by my side constantly in hospital so I don't think it's linked to that. I'm really shaken up by it.

I had cyclizine and ondansetron and didn't have any panic attacks. Could it be an accumulation of stress from the last few weeks perhaps?

Cyclizine can be really nasty.
It can make you feel
Faint hot sweaty clammy nauseated sick.

It’s really nasty stuff imo.

I have no direct experience with it OP, but I've been on medication before (citalopram) where the first week and the last week of taking them were really rough but the in-between bit was ok; therefore for that reason I'd persevere for a fortnight at least and see how you go. Sorry you had a panic attack, they are wretched things

I had cyclizine for morning sickness and didn’t have any negative side effects. It really helped me. Saying that though, I didn’t have HG.

I had no panic attacks with cyclizine for HG but could it be how stressful thing have been as a PP suggested? Please check the side effects listed and it is always worth reporting the effects you are feeling if not listed. Medications during pregnancy are not usually tested well (if at all), anti-sickness medication especially so reporting them might be helpful.

It can cause palpitations and dizziness which can cause panic attacks.

This is the patient leaflet in case you haven’t read it www.medicines.org.uk/emc/files/pil.4318.pdf

I was on cyclizine for HG, no panic attacks here either (it didn't work for the sickness either). Maybe stress or adrenaline induced???

You have all my sympathy for the HG, I had it from 2 weeks post conception (before I'd even wee'd on a stick) until the epidural kicked in for my (early) planned Section at 37 weeks. I walked out of the hospital 3.5 stones lighter than I was before I got pregnant. Horrible, horrible illness. Luckily I was pregnant with my last DD as I would never have gone through that again.

I'm sure you have been given loads of well meaning advice about what to try and eat. The only thing I kept down occasionally was very, very flat old fashioned lucozade in tiny sips.

My ExDP was an absolute dick of the highest degree, thought his mother (evil witch of a woman) knew better than the Doctors, was convinced I was faking. He thought I might be up for a bit of "hows your father" one night because I hadn't been sick for a whole hour and started rubbing my back - I took great delight in sitting up and vomiting all over him! Left the bastard when DD was 11 weeks old!

I'm glad your DH is taking things more seriously, he might need a gentle reminder now and again (well aimed vomit works a treat). Hope the HG calms down and the cyclizine works for you x

I had cyclizine injections for my HG. The district nurse trained my DH to give me them twice per day to try and cut down the number of times I was admitted for rehydration. I was still very sick but possibly not quite as often. Dr told me to drink very calorific drinks so I could try and absorb some calories before I threw most of it up. Never had any noticeable side effects due to cyclizine. Felt poorly until about 26 weeks then was never sick again.

I had a big panic attack after being given cyclizine once.