To murder DH and my in laws in pregnancy induced rage?

[MrsHughGrant]

I've got hyperemesis gravidium. I've had it for 7 weeks and I'm in hell. Been signed off work, I vomit from when I wake up until I go to sleep. I've been in and out of hospital. I'm on medication now but I'm still sick constantly and I'm so tired and I just have no energy.

DHs extended family all came over for 5 nights over Christmas, it was pre-arranged, Christmas and I battled through. I didn't stay in bed and mope I showered and put makeup on and tried to be a good host despite how awful I felt. Played with the kids, cooked for the adults etc. They left 2 days ago and I was so exhausted from the time they were here I slept for 14 hours, woke up just to eat (and spew) and then passed out again. Today I am still completely exhausted, the house is a shit hole, I've thrown up five times and I just feel like crap so I said to DH I'm not going to make it to your mums later feeling like this, but go without me obviously and have fun.

The fucker turns around and says "they're coming here remember?" I thought he was joking but nope, got 5 adults and 5 children all coming back at 3 for the next 2 nights. He has not told me this. I know exactly why he hasn't told me this as I'd say no and now I don't know what to do. He's said can't I just do what I did the other day and power through and get the house sorted. I'm just lying in bed crying now I feel so peopled out I just can't do it. I just want to sleep. I just can't think of another option other than murder.

*HG (not HP - lots of that!)

OP, glad you're in hospital and getting treatment, hope you feel better soon.

Don't hide what's happened from the medical staff, and if one looks like wanting to rip into your DH (like a pp would like to do) then let them. Don't try to minimise it to your DH, he really needs to know the reality as I suspect he's not taken in just how serious this can be perhaps his mother has been saying things

Keys give the DH the benefit if the doubt; he might not have realised about HG. He does now. It’s good that he’s from a close and large extended family, as far as I’m aware they didn’t know the OAp was even pregnant so also would not have known about the H G. Once they were informed (by the savvy SiL) they did change their plans. Let’s hope they will rally round now that the seriousness of the situation is apparent and hope all goes well for this little family... take care xxx

Balls to giving him the benefit of the doubt - the OP says this is the sixth time she's been hospitalised! He should have fucking worked it out by now!

Actually OP said her children didn't know she is pregnant. In laws did, and were absolutely, 100% unreasonable. DH is still a clueless twat, IMO. Can’t believe he left OP alone overnight. He would never hear the end of it from me.

You had better never wait on him hand and foot when he’s ill in the future.

God I remember feeling this wretched with HG and soldiering on because I'm not the first person to ever be pregnant. It was only comparing pregnancies with my NCT class where I realised how horrific my sickness had been in reality. Fortunately my DH was not a dick.

Hospital is the best place for you and I hope it gives your DH the reminder he needs that soldiering on is NOT OK!!

Massive props to your lovely lovely SIL for sorting everything. You do need to have the conversation with your DH about why it wasn't him that protected your unborn child though.

Now, dh and his family need to descend on your house, minus the four year old and dog, and clean and tidy it so you come back to a palace not a shit tip.
Meanwhile relax and sleep (if you can). Don't even think about powering through fuck all when you get out.
Some men just can't handle their wives/partners being anything less than 100% and will manipulate them with guilt to martyr on then blame them for not asking for help earlier when they finally break. It is bloody exhausting when they just go blind and do not take the initiative!
Start standing your ground and making it clear what you are and are not able to do for the next few months. Grab those big girl pants and spell it out....every time. Don't leave it up to him to work out what the right thing to do is because he clearly can't.
Well done to sil for making them see sense.
Sending get well vibes. X

I shall keep the cake and gin for after the HG has buggered off.

I felt horrendously sick for months, that was bad enough, HG is considerably worse.

I am glad that you are getting the treatment you need. Tell DH that he needs to clean up the house before you get home because you will not be able to cope with coming home to a shit tip and will continue to need lots of care and rest. Reinforce to him that out of hospital doesnt necessarily mean cured. This can (unfortunately) be recurring and he clearly needs to have that rammed home.

When he visits see if you can get any available medical staff to explain to him in no uncertain terms how serious this is, how it ISN'T normal pregnancy etc. etc. Take the opportunity to speak to a midwife about it, perhaps in front of DH.

Tell the "pregnant, not ill" brigade to get to fuck. Pregnancy can certainly make some women very ill indeed. It isn't without it's complications.

^^ Topseyt is right.

Never mind he's acting apologetic. He needs to get the work done and keep doing it because you are severely ill and likely to stay severely ill for some time to come.
Do exactly what the medical professionals advise to look after yourself and your baby and let H cope with everything else.

I hope you are feeling better

You are being far too nice to your husband OP and that’s why he’s ignoring you. I’d have roasted his nuts. You shouldn’t be asking his permission to cancel, you should be telling him (not that you should have to).

Get in the car right now, don’t engage with his family and get yourself booked into a hotel. Don’t tell him which one for a while. I know exactly how you feel, I was sick for ten months when Ihad my daughter and it’s vile.

Look after yourself, you are the first priority in this situation and if your husband won’t look after you you need to. You can decide what to do with the pillock and his family afterwards.

Seriously, go, go, go!💐

Oh and make sure it’s a really nice hotel. He’s paying. ❤️

Sorry I’ve just seen things have moved on, glad you are being looked after now, but my point stands, give him hell.❤️

Who is looking after your dc?
I hope you are feeling better now.
I lost my first pregnancy due to HG.
Please take care and rest OP.

endofthelinefinally Im pretty sure the children refered to aren't MrsHughGrant 's children but wider family children, nieces and nephews. Its pretty likely that this is MrsHughGrant's first pregnancy, unless she also had hyperemesis in previous pregnancies (in which case her "D"H should know more about it!).

Glad you're in hospital MrsHughGrant but what a nightmare

I feel sick reading this - your “d” h is an utter cunt and he should be fucking ashamed of himself. And of his family.

I was “sick” through both my pregnancies (I say “sick” because it’s more than that, it’s sickness and exhaustion and nausea and everything else) and it was hell. Ds2 only happened so Ds1 could have a sibling - he was the only one I loved enough to go through it again.

How are you feeling now that you’ve got some fluid in you?

@MrsHughGrant for you. For having both HG and idiot inlaws.

Omg. Hope you feel better today

How are you feeling today op? Hope you’re resting up and being looked after at hospital.

I just read that this is tor sixth trip to hospital. Any lingering hope I had that your dh wasn’t a fuckwit has disappeared. I can’t believe he didn’t think for one minute that his five time hospitalised wife would be ok to fucking cook and host for five days.

I would get your dr/midwife/consultant to have a word or two with him. Make it very clear how serious this is. I suspect he won’t believe you if you tell him...

My goodness, how thoughtless of them all. HG is horrific and can make life very distressing for the sufferer.

Prior to rehydration therapy people used to die from it, I think we’ve become too blaze to the condition. It’s not just morning sickness, it’s a debilitating condition which is horrendously serious.

I think you need to get the medical staff to explain the seriousness of the condition. He put both you and your baby at risk for the same of his family and was happy to do it again for ‘round 2’ when you were on your knees ill.

He clearly doesn’t get it and he really needs to. He shouldn’t have left you alone. He should have driven you to the hospital, he should have been calling the hospital for you and looking after you.

No way OP your husband is having a laugh! I had HG with my pregnancy and was hospitalized and given drips (the whole shebang - it's no fun at all).

Your husband needs to tell them to sod off or do all of the work himself. Raging on your behalf. I hope the sickness passes for you soon, it's horrendous ❤️

"Can’t believe he left OP alone overnight."

The OP told him to go.

Don't know how he is supposed to take her health seriously if she doesn't.

Think people have misread the thread, OP said that her nieces/nephews have no idea she is pregnant, OP doesnt have other children, her DH’s family are aware, but still chose to impose themselves!