To murder DH and my in laws in pregnancy induced rage?

[MrsHughGrant]

I've got hyperemesis gravidium. I've had it for 7 weeks and I'm in hell. Been signed off work, I vomit from when I wake up until I go to sleep. I've been in and out of hospital. I'm on medication now but I'm still sick constantly and I'm so tired and I just have no energy.

DHs extended family all came over for 5 nights over Christmas, it was pre-arranged, Christmas and I battled through. I didn't stay in bed and mope I showered and put makeup on and tried to be a good host despite how awful I felt. Played with the kids, cooked for the adults etc. They left 2 days ago and I was so exhausted from the time they were here I slept for 14 hours, woke up just to eat (and spew) and then passed out again. Today I am still completely exhausted, the house is a shit hole, I've thrown up five times and I just feel like crap so I said to DH I'm not going to make it to your mums later feeling like this, but go without me obviously and have fun.

The fucker turns around and says "they're coming here remember?" I thought he was joking but nope, got 5 adults and 5 children all coming back at 3 for the next 2 nights. He has not told me this. I know exactly why he hasn't told me this as I'd say no and now I don't know what to do. He's said can't I just do what I did the other day and power through and get the house sorted. I'm just lying in bed crying now I feel so peopled out I just can't do it. I just want to sleep. I just can't think of another option other than murder.

Seriously though, you’ve been in and out of hospital and he thinks it’s okay to dismiss that to his mother as ‘oh she’s fine but it gets a little worse when she’s in the car’? WTAF?

What is actually wrong with him? Does he turn into an utterly clueless manchild whenever he’s with mummy or daddy or something?

He should be saying, actually she’s really fucking sick!

Cannot believe he had you running around after everyone over Christmas. Please don’t martyr yourself like that again. Demand a bit of consideration!

Hopefully they’ll have got the message loud and clear now.

Justfiable homicide! No court woud convict you.

Oh my goodness I've just read this OJ horror. I'm so glad you've been left alone now. I was about to post and say book any hotel you can get to.

OJ?? In horror

Anyone else wonder if nice Sil is a MNer? Waves

Even if SIL is not a MNer I think we should make her an honorary one now. Perhaps her username could be GetOutTheSoddingHouse ??

Nice SIL is a legend.

Your husband is cruel. I actually have nightmares about this kind of scenario. I’m sick and people just keep arriving and won’t leave and I’m crying and begging them to go and they laugh. Seriously. You have lived my nightmare OP.

And your vile husband should be there caring for you instead of having a jolly New Years with his relations. He’s treated you horribly. And don’t let him pretend he was thoughtless. He planned this and didn’t tell you. It wasn’t an accident.

I’m so angry for you right now.

Oh how horrible for you dear OP, if I were your DM I would be wanting to sweep in. give your not so 'D' H a piece of my mind and take you home with me for some proper TLC. It's so shocking that I suggest in real life you drag him to an appointment with midwife or HV who can spell out to him the reality of your situation and let him hear from a professional what a useless article he's been.

I have plenty of room under my patio. Enough for the entire party of guests. If that helps

And I have a shovel and wiry, muscular arms.

Tell me he's at least got the kids with him. What a twat.

I am totally gobsmacked by this thread - I just can’t believe people would behave like this, OP.

Does DH have form for putting his extended family’s needs before yours???

Not only are you completely and utterly not being unreasonable, I'd be happy to help you! I am so angry for you - apart from nice SIL, your husband and his entire family are horrendous people.

Your husband in particular makes me furious - how can he not see that you need him at home? Do you have older children with you? What does he expect you to do if you get horrendously dehydrated and need to go to hospital again tonight? Because somehow I doubt he's staying sober just in case he needs to finally act like a fucking adult...

Your H and most of his family are atrocious cockweasels - good thing nice SIL sent the buggers packing. When you feel up to it, read him the riot act - I'd find the whole thing, Xmas, the minimising and this really hard to forgive. Is he usually more supportive or just a complete shitgoblin in general?

Kill them all and I'll come and help you dispose of the bodies 😁
to you. Look after yourself

"Does DH have form for putting his extended family’s needs before yours??"

No prizes for guessing that that the answer to that will be a big fat yes.

Glad sil is on your side. I had hypermesis with both my pregnancies and it was horrendous, it still irritates me when people say if you cant deal with morning sickness how will you cope with birth (this was said to me just before I ended up in hospital on medication and a drip, person who said it sheepishly back peddled when they realised it was not just morning sickness but being sick every time I moved, drank a drop of water or a crumb of food) your dh is a wanker, he needs to be looking after you rather than forcing you to run around and putting you and baby at risk. To many people think hyperemesis is just morning sickness, my work were very unsympathetic and were of the view pregnancy is not an illness. Hope you feel better and hope you get a big apology in the morning off everyone

It needs spelling out to this thoughtless dick exactly what HG involves, and just how bad it could get. So I second getting a MW to talk to him plainly.

Nice SIL deserves a round of applause for getting everyone out the house (and yes, suspect she's on MN).

"It needs spelling out to this thoughtless dick exactly what HG involves, and just how bad it could get. So I second getting a MW to talk to him plainly."

OP has been in and out of hospital. Unless he's been living under a rock, he should be able to understand that it's serious without someone spelling it out to him.

Thank goodness they are gone! Rest up OP and enjoy the peace and quiet. I can’t even imagine expecting someone who is very ill to cook and host me, it’s so selfish.

Tell him if he invited them knowing how you're feeling he can host. He will need to clean, tidy, do washing and cook whilst they are visiting as you'll be resting. He'll then need to do it all again when they have left. He needs to be looking after you and be considerate to you.

Good luck

OP, can you divorce DH and marry NiceSIL instead? She sounds a much better prospect!

I can't believe how much he downplayed how ill you are. Never had HG, but a really bad migraine made me so sick I ended up hospitalised and on a drip, and that was after a mere 48 hours of vomitting. You must feel absolutely awful after "powering through" HG for so long. I bet it hurts too, I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach by a horse.

Make sure you have water and a bowl to throw up in, leave everything else for DP to sort tomorrow, and have the best rest you can manage.

Hope you are ok today OP

AnotherEmma from bitter experience, I can say that some people don't even get how serious a situation can be, even with hospital stays. They bury their heads in the sand and equate "out of hospital" with "you are cured now", and assume someone is fit enough to do stuff, because they aren't IN hospital. It's amazing how much people are willing to ignore what's in front of them when they don't want to see it.

You should definitely kill him. However this thread will probe that it was pre meditated and you might go down for a long stretch unless they consider these extenuating circumstances, in which case you might get away with a suspended sentence. Do it. We will all deny any knowledge of the plot.

(If you bottle it, just stay in bed and leave him to entertain his family)

Thinking of you OP. And so angry at your DH!