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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Charge different rent to my twins

171 replies

Roqueen · 30/12/2018 15:48

One son just started full time work, earning £300pw, the other earns £75pw part time. I asked one for £40pw the other for £10. Full time twin found out and has gone ballistic (smashed my living room door ballistic) as he thinks his bro should pay the same, I say, it should be on a percentage. I may as well have told him I loved the other one and not him by his reaction. I see it as fair, yet he's livid. Am I wrong? The boys are 18.

OP posts:
Handsfull13 · 30/12/2018 15:50

It's fair enough. First he'll be charged damages for anything he broke during his tantrum, secondly it's your home you'll do as you wish if he doesn't like it he can go rent elsewhere.

Orlande · 30/12/2018 15:51

If full time twin was mine I would be inviting him to move out! After paying for a new door to be fitted.

Outwards · 30/12/2018 15:51

YABU!

They should be charged the same. You have to be equal with siblings, it's unfair otherwise.

But your son kicked a door in? Now that's not on.

Rahul88 · 30/12/2018 15:51

Depends why the other one is working part time I would have thought.

CanaryFish · 30/12/2018 15:52

Smashing the door is not on under any circumstances. I’m not sure how to get past that , sorry :(

Without that I would ask if the part time worker was asked to contribute more by the way of house work or something

mogtheexcellent · 30/12/2018 15:53

I paid 20% of my take home the same as my sister.i ended up paying more.

I didn't even consider it was unfair.

notapizzaeater · 30/12/2018 15:53

Wow, I'd be kicking him out - he's an adult !

We paid a set percentage of our wage to my mum so it was fair for everyone.

Bluelady · 30/12/2018 15:54

Well he'll be paying for a new door as well now, I guess.

Els1e · 30/12/2018 15:54

Sorry but I think it’s unfair. Rent is normally a set fee not percentage of earnings. Is there a reason one only works part time? Could you change it to they both pay £25 each? However make sure you charge the one for repair to door.

cardibach · 30/12/2018 15:54

What you are charging is the same percentage of their income, so fair in that respect. As Rahul says, though, the reason for part time working is also relevant.

XmasPostmanBos · 30/12/2018 15:56

Kick him out and he can see how much a room costs if he is not being subsidised by his mum.

hibbledibble · 30/12/2018 15:56

A percentage of wage sounds fair. It also sounds fair to contribute a greater share of the house work, if time permits.

Smashing the door up: not on. He either pays to fix and apologises, or moves out.

Sirzy · 30/12/2018 15:56

Working part time because he is studying or just because he wants to? That would make the difference to me in the fairness.

That said he was out of order and needs to pay for what is broken

MaisyPops · 30/12/2018 15:57

It depends why one is working part time. If one is at university and working part time that's different to both only working but one is full time and one is part time.

Personally, I think it should be a case of working out what the costs are on top of the homeowners and then dividing by number of adults. One child doesn't cost more to have living there than the other.

They shouldn't have damaged your door as that's not on. I wonder if the difference in rent could have been the final straw in terms of one always having an easier ride and it broke the camels back (doesn't excuse it by the way but might explain the reaction).

Littlechocola · 30/12/2018 15:59

I agree with your son (although he shouldn’t have had a massive tantrum).
His brother won’t be encouraged to get a full time job if he knows he will have to pay more rent.

ChesterGreySideboard · 30/12/2018 16:00

I agree tag it depends why one is working part time. If it’s because he is studying then fair enough.

However earning £300pw he can go and find his own place.

APositiveMind · 30/12/2018 16:00

I think that's fair. I paid £40 per week from 14, as soon as I got my first job I started paying rent. I have my own house now and often think about where the hell I spent my money living at home because I just have been bloody loaded. Bills are expensive.

If he tantrums again ask him to pay half the mortgage, the water bill and do the food shop. Bet you any money he'll shut up and smile.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 30/12/2018 16:01

I agree with others. If they are in education rent should be very little or free but in work it should be the same. Personally at 18 I wouldnt charge rent or I’d save it for them towards a deposit.

Purplehammer · 30/12/2018 16:02

How did he know how much his brother is paying?
Nothing to do with him.

DishranawaywiththeSpoon · 30/12/2018 16:02

I think it's fair, the other twin isn't really earning enough to be able to pay the same each, so you'd either have to be crippling the one twin or the other one not paying anything. I think a percentage is fair. Although I agree he's got to pay for the repairs to the house, I can't believe he smashed up a door? I think id be suggesting he moved out anyway tbh if my son started behaving aggressively like that. Does he think he can scare you into getting his own way?

If he doesn't like it he can move out, it's hardly like he's paying an extortionate monthly rent.

ilovesooty · 30/12/2018 16:02

They both seem to be paying a very small percentage to me and it depends why one is only working part time.

That damage should be paid for and I'm not sure I'd want him around if he can't control himself.

chocolatecoveredraisons · 30/12/2018 16:02

I think you've played it wrong OP.
Your other twin goes out and works full time. Uses less good and electricity as he's out of the house more. Yet you charge him more because he's in a full time position.

(Banging the door in is not on though and must be addressed)

Part time twin is home more, doesn't work as many hours and pays a quarter of full time twin.

That (IME) is bad parenting - also how did you allow full time twin to find out! Badly played

MsHopey · 30/12/2018 16:02

I agree with PPs.
It really does depend why one is only working part time. If he's in further education, fair enough, if it's because he just want to work part time and chill the rest of the time because he still lives at home (many people I know) then YABU as it unfair to fill time worker really.
Saying that, the smashing up doors is obviously wrong.

TheBigBangRocks · 30/12/2018 16:04

The tantrum is worrying, that needs to be addressed.

However I agree with him on the money basis, both should pay the same as both are getting the same for their money. Unfair to charge different. Although at that age I'd not be charging anything.

Id expect a partner to pay equal, not less simply because they chose to earn less.

OyOy · 30/12/2018 16:04

His response is very troubling, very troubling.

I think you've got bigger problems.

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