Family inviting themselves on hoildays

[gh73]

I recently booked a trip to Thailand with my husband for some much needed alone time and found out the other day that without even asking a faimly member has booked flights same dates and times. I am so annoyed as they never asked us and they are also travelling with toddlers for the 14 hour flight 😬😬 This is our first hoilday like this and a trip of a life time for us, I wanted a romantic get away for myself and my husband and I am so annoyed that without even asking just bunked in on the trip. I absolutely love the kids but this our first trip without our children aa they are older and it changes the whole dynamic especially on a trip like this. Now it's really awkward, they are asking us where we are staying, dates ect so it's either offend them by telling them we want to do our own thing or spend the trip with them?? Help 🤯

I would Change holiday destination or lie from now on otherwise you'll have them to baby sit. Please don't tell ppl what you up to I never let ppl know details of what am doing. Also don't book a cab from your house. Book from Down the road. I've had friends homes broken into the next day. You think the can driver probably tipped someone off

Book an adult’s only hotel! Or something very unfamily friendly like one of those hotels on a cliff top with great views but lots of steps no kids pool etc etc. Or an island hotel requiring water boat travel etc. There are some lovely adults only hotel with spa treats.

He was very smug about it because they were brought a complimentary bottle of champagne at the table and him and wife managed to not only have a glass for breakfast, but told bride and groom that he "might as well take the rest back to their room" because they were leaving later (1 hour) so had longer to enjoy it.

More fool them for not telling him, 'That's mine, you're not having any,' or 'It's our post wedding breakfast so we're going to sit over here on our own.'

CFers rely on people not saying anything in order to get away with their behaviour.

Bill would do this
Have I missed something? Who is Bill? Is he fictional or the worst and most obnoxious CF ever?

It's difficult, but you need to be straight with them, otherwise your holiday will be completely ruined and that would be totally unfair on you and your husband. Also, wouldn't it be difficult to hide your feelings if you do end up holidaying together and that could cause much more damage to your relationship. Just tell them your plans and if they are nice people, they will understand and back off accordingly.

I think "Bill" is a poster's BIL.

DrinkFeckArseGirls

Thank you.

Change your plans, don't tell anyone even your husband. The day before pretend the airline and the hotel have buggered up so that you'll be going a day later and to a totally different hotel?

Just be totally honest with them and say you need a holiday alone. I think they are very rude to book the same dates, flights etc without even asking you about it. Make it clear any other time you would consider catching up but that this holiday is a romantic getaway for two!!!

Whatever you do don’t tell your DH you’ve changed things up a bit or else he may tip them the nod!

oops im the worst for this although i do ask first and i dont infringe on my daughters plans unless invited . if it was an anniversary or a special reason hol i wouldnt . ive actually just gegged in on a trip to sorrento in september with my hubby but only because i want to visit pompeii and amalfi coast and theyve been before

oops im the worst for this although i do ask first

If they wanted you to go with them, wouldn't they ask you? Why do you think it's ok to do that?

Tell them bluntly. "It's a holiday for two. We're not being your childminders. Don't even think that we'll meet up with you there!" They invited themselves, sod being polite.

ive actually just gegged in on a trip to sorrento in september with my hubby but only because i want to visit pompeii and amalfi coast and theyve been before

Why would you do that? Your daughter probably feels obliged to allow you to tag along. She'd probably feel bad saying no when you ask. Just stop it!

Well done on changing dates. I suggest you don't give your DH too many details he may not be good at secrets

oops im the worst for this although i do ask first and i dont infringe on my daughters plans unless invited . if it was an anniversary or a special reason hol i wouldnt . ive actually just gegged in on a trip to sorrento in september with my hubby but only because i want to visit pompeii and amalfi coast and theyve been before

I think you are incredibly selfish and insensitive. You say you ask first. You obviously know your poor daughter feels she can’t say no to you which is what all CFs rely upon. For God’s sake just leave the poor woman alone and let her enjoy a holiday with her own family without you tagging along uninvited.

Gilld69

Noooooooo!

The only time you should go on holiday with your daughter is if SHE ASKS YOU EXPLICITLY.

I feel like this is not an "oooops" situation...

C.f.!

@Gilld69 - that’s shameful! If you want to visit somewhere new, buy a guidebook, don’t crash your daughter’s holiday!!! If she wanted you there, she’d offer the invitation first 🙄

Wow Gilld69, are you so completely incapable of making travel plans of your own that you have to encroach on your daughter's precious holiday time?
So fucking selfish.

Omg I would really lose it at that. How fucking dare they intrude like that!

@Gilld69 I imagine she feels too bad to tell you how she really feels, but if I want someone on a holiday I explicitly invite them. You're likely being intrusive. Unless on the off chance she really doesn't mind then...

@Gild69* send your DD this thread.

echt, the daughters probably got her own thread!

How can she not tell her DH? Presumably he needs to book annual leave, which is now different.