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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Family inviting themselves on hoildays

270 replies

gh73 · 30/12/2018 12:10

I recently booked a trip to Thailand with my husband for some much needed alone time and found out the other day that without even asking a faimly member has booked flights same dates and times. I am so annoyed as they never asked us and they are also travelling with toddlers for the 14 hour flight 😬😬 This is our first hoilday like this and a trip of a life time for us, I wanted a romantic get away for myself and my husband and I am so annoyed that without even asking just bunked in on the trip. I absolutely love the kids but this our first trip without our children aa they are older and it changes the whole dynamic especially on a trip like this. Now it's really awkward, they are asking us where we are staying, dates ect so it's either offend them by telling them we want to do our own thing or spend the trip with them?? Help 🤯

OP posts:
Dotty1970 · 06/01/2019 11:01

Omg that's awful, I would be tempted to even rebook

TidaQuel · 06/01/2019 11:10

Well done OP, it’s been nipped in the bud. It’s been made quite clear that you’ll be doing your own thing, but look forward to meeting up for a day at some point.

Thailand is a fairly huge place, islands, resorts are quite far flung and you could easily be a whole day or mores travelling time from them. Whatever your plans I’d keep them fairly underwraps for now and if travelling around, maybe only mention in reverse order if questioned. If they have booked flights already do you think they’d cancel? Can you move yours by a day or two? I only say this because, it is quite likely that you’ll end up with the children for the best part of the flight. (Have seen it many times)

AWishForWingsThatWork · 06/01/2019 11:52

Well done to you and your husband, OP! I would stay firmly quiet on where you're staying and what you'll be doing, other than suggesting the single night for a catch up dinner somewhere in the middle.

If they still go. I do wonder if SIL will have to admit to herself that it's a stupid trip for her to be taking her children on if she thinks she can't do it without drafting in other adults.

Motoko · 06/01/2019 11:58

Brilliant OP! I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall when that conversation took place!

Well done to your husband for telling her.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 06/01/2019 12:19

My boss and her husband had a very close friendship with their next door neighbours - who were also friends with my parents. One of the neighbours planned a secret romantic getaway and my boss and her family gatecrashed the whole thing after hearing about the offer; they also ruined the surprise for the neighbour that didn't know.

It was rumoured that they were partner swapping/swingers or my boss' husband was being (or wanted to be..) unfaithful with one of the neighbours. We never did find out what actually was going on but everyone heard different versions. The romantic getaway was a dud. The special offer was a rip off and the gatecrashers blamed the neighbours. My boss and her husband argued, nearly split up then hastily left the area and I lost my job.

Tistheseason17 · 06/01/2019 12:22

Love the update! Well done to your DH!

HolyMountain · 06/01/2019 12:30

Great update , you can relax now .

AcrossthePond55 · 06/01/2019 14:51

Who wants to bet two pence she cancels her flights?

FlyMayBaubles · 06/01/2019 14:55

Well done, OP's DH Smile

RandomMess · 06/01/2019 16:10

Hopefully she will cancel!

gh73 · 06/01/2019 16:37

I don't think they will cancel. I think they probably didn't t ask us as they thought we would say no and was hoping they could tag along with us and we would help out with the kids. A friend did this to me years and years ago, but it was a European holiday and I wasn't as bothered. I only told them last minute as suspected she might ask could she come along but she paid a fortune for flights Anyway last minute. It was a trip we had done several times and our kids where small at the time and so where there's so it wasn't such a big deal. Even to this day I normally keep my travel plans secret and pretend I got a last minute deal. We booked our flights over a year ago and only mentioned it just before Christmas as we thought no one could possibly follow us at such short notice and so far. NEVER again, the only time people will know when I go away is when they see me back and wonder why I have a tan 😆😆.

OP posts:
Cheerbear23 · 06/01/2019 16:50

I would also change the dates slightly, I suspect she’ll be hoping she can palm the kids off on you for a bit on the plane.

HeebieJeebies456 · 06/01/2019 17:12

Turns out my husband was not bothered as he had no intention of letting her interfere and planned to do his own thing
Awesome! Love it!

MachineBee · 07/01/2019 08:51

Brilliant update OP. I hope you have a fantastic holiday after all this nonsense. 🎉🎉🎉

Holidayshopping · 07/01/2019 08:55

I think they probably didn't t ask us as they thought we would say no and was hoping they could tag along with us and we would help out with the kids.

Is that what you think her sole intention was? Who do they normally holiday with?

How did her DH take the news you won’t be spending time with them?

FilledSoda · 07/01/2019 13:44

Excellent update

7yo7yo · 07/01/2019 21:20

I bet your mil or some relative now gets involved and tells you how mean your being.

MulticolourMophead · 07/01/2019 23:06

I bet your mil or some relative now gets involved and tells you how mean your being.

That wouldn't surprise me. This attitude has to have come from somewhere.

Willbeatjanuaryblues · 07/01/2019 23:36

Wow!! Just when you think you've read it all on here Grin

At first I think thought she might be bereaved or single and really desperate for the and holiday etc... Really lonely! I could never imagine myself doing that but at the same time extreme loneliness can affect people!

But wozers! What a dammed cheek!! I almost feel embarrassed for her.

It's happens to me twice though first when I was a child and again as adult. Nothing like life time trip though!

Willbeatjanuaryblues · 07/01/2019 23:37

Husband nor bothered as had no intention...

How refreshing!!

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