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Original poster

Family inviting themselves on hoildays

270 replies

gh73 · 30/12/2018 12:10

I recently booked a trip to Thailand with my husband for some much needed alone time and found out the other day that without even asking a faimly member has booked flights same dates and times. I am so annoyed as they never asked us and they are also travelling with toddlers for the 14 hour flight 😬😬 This is our first hoilday like this and a trip of a life time for us, I wanted a romantic get away for myself and my husband and I am so annoyed that without even asking just bunked in on the trip. I absolutely love the kids but this our first trip without our children aa they are older and it changes the whole dynamic especially on a trip like this. Now it's really awkward, they are asking us where we are staying, dates ect so it's either offend them by telling them we want to do our own thing or spend the trip with them?? Help 🤯

OP posts:
WhoGivesADamnForAFlakeyBandit · 30/12/2018 12:33

You have to say something or you will be spending 3 hours in the airport with them and then 14, that's FOURTEEN HOURS wrangling them and their kids on the flight. Doesn't matter how much you like them now, you won't after that.

JillScarlet · 30/12/2018 12:34

I don’t suspect babysitting as much as adult company and general support on a single parent holiday.

eddielizzard · 30/12/2018 12:34

Wow that's awful. What were they thinking?! JillScarlet has a great range of replies.

MountPheasant · 30/12/2018 12:36

First, evasively say you can’t remember which hotel- then use PP’s comment about ‘you’re not planning to share our holiday are you?’

If pushed, tell them the resort is adults only.

Then, pay to upgrade to a lounge at the airport- the Kuoni one is nice and only £20 each. Done.

Tistheseason17 · 30/12/2018 12:36

Google an adults only hotel and say you are staying there. Do not mention it is adults only - let them find out themselves when they try and book it.
Go on holiday and turn your phones off.

Or change your holiday and don't tell them.

Or, tell them the truth!

OlennasWimple · 30/12/2018 12:36

Just tell them now what you have said on here

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 30/12/2018 12:38

Just be totally honest, but nice, and say that you'd love to spend time with them on holiday but on this occasion you and your husband have planned a romantic holiday for two without the kids. Tell them you've booked into an adult-only hotel. You could always offer to spend ONE day or evening meeting up with them. If they are offended then they are the unreasonable ones, not you.

pineapplebryanbrown · 30/12/2018 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JacquesHammer · 30/12/2018 12:39

Being honest is not rude.

Tell them you enjoy their company but on this occasion you’re having an adult holiday and won’t be spending time together.

DeepanKrispanEven · 30/12/2018 12:41

Change your dates or your destination, and whatever you do don't tell anyone about your plans

HollowTalk · 30/12/2018 12:41

Who is this person? Why on earth would they take toddlers on a 14 hour flight? Are they insane?

RandomMess · 30/12/2018 12:42

You need to tell them

"This trip is our second honeymoon!!! We will be doing adult dining, adult sight seeing and having lots of sex. Hence we haven't invited anyone along with us including our children!"

HoneysuckIejasmine · 30/12/2018 12:42

Hell. No. Tell them now.

AWishForWingsThatWork · 30/12/2018 12:43

FFS. IF it's your CF family members, tell them you're having a holiday with your DH alone, one you've looked forward to for years now that your children are grown up, so you're not telling anyone where you're staying as you intend to enjoy the holiday with just the two of you.

If it's your DH's CF family members, have him tell them the same thing.

No, you won't be helping them with their toddlers on the plane.
No, you won't be helping watch their toddlers in the pool.
No, you won't be babysitting so they can go out; you've done your time.
No, you're not kidding. They weren't invited on your holiday, so you won't be including them.

All ready responses.

Shoxfordian · 30/12/2018 12:43

Tell them directly that you're not going to share your holiday and that you want to be on your own

DeepanKrispanEven · 30/12/2018 12:43

Tell them where you're going is a bit notorious for iffy food hygiene and not recommended for toddlers.

LagunaBubbles · 30/12/2018 12:44

It's amazing what people (women?) will put up with so as not to appear rude

This... Why do so many people let others in their lives get away with cheeky behaviour for fear of "offending" them! I mean who really does something like this, it's not normal behaviour. If you don't speak up you will be stick on an expensive holiday feeling increasingly resentful. There must be something odd in the dynamics of your relationship with them, is it your sister?

OyOy · 30/12/2018 12:46

Thinking about this more - why can't you just tell them what you've said here?

Hey, I think there's been cross-wires! This is a trip of a life time for us, and we're looking forward to a romantic get away for just the two of us and to get away from everyone and everything! I'm sure you and the kids will have a great time wherever you end up! Thanks for understanding."

Press send, then it's done...

woolduvet · 30/12/2018 12:46

I'd be more annoyed at being on a 14hr flight with them and no escape from when the little angels get sent over to you.
Def upgrade or change times.

thebaronetofcockburn · 30/12/2018 12:47

Now it's really awkward, they are asking us where we are staying, dates ect so it's either offend them by telling them we want to do our own thing or spend the trip with them?? Help 🤯

It's not awkward. You don't need to lie or make excuses. So what if they are offended, they don't give a shit about you!

'This holiday is for us as a couple. It's a second honeymoon for us to do our own thing so we'd rather not say where we're staying or our plans. Have a lovely holiday!' If they get offended, that's their lookout.

Then I would change my flights, honestly.

Missingstreetlife · 30/12/2018 12:47

When they ask you anything, ask why. When they answer you can laugh, look confused or say I don't think so

Holidayshopping · 30/12/2018 12:49

I recently booked a trip to Thailand with my husband for some much needed alone time and found out the other day that without even asking a faimly member has booked flights same dates and times.

How did you find out? Who told you and how did you react?

Now it's really awkward, they are asking us where we are staying, dates ect

But I thought they already knew the dates?

What are you saying to these requests for information? It all sounds very strange.

GenerationSnowflake · 30/12/2018 12:50

tell them, and if possible change your flights, or at least upgrade to avoid them.

Do not give them any of your holiday details! How do they even know what flight you are on? If you are really too scared to say anything, just lie and say you haven't booked anything yet and will look at hotels later.

thebaronetofcockburn · 30/12/2018 12:50

There is zero way I'd be on a plane with them. Just none. I've done my time, too.

Stormy76 · 30/12/2018 12:50

Change your flights, and don't tell them where you are staying. You will be stuck looking after the kids. Be honest and tell them that this is your first kid free holiday and a second honeymoon, you won't be able to help out with the kids or babysit. I can't believe that they have decided to do this, how close of a family member are they?

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