Boyfriend only bought DS one present...

[notagrabbygirlfriend]

Been with boyfriend for 1 year. He’s been regularly seeing DS (7) since 6 months into our relationship.

DS is born on Christmas Eve. I expressed to him that I find it really cheeky, cheap and mean when people try to combine his Christmas and birthday present. You wouldn’t do it at any other time of year. Fair enough if it’s a massive or expensive gift that you would have done as a joint anyway, but using the excuse that he is born near Christmas to only get him one thing I find mean and stingy.

We had a big conversation about this and he said he thought I was being rude by expecting two gifts. Of course people would combine due to the time of year. I said it’s cheeky and I wouldn’t accept it for my son. You wouldn’t combine a summer born child’s present with Christmas, you’d be told you were a CF. As I said, expensive gifts I understand, but otherwise no.

Anyway, the day comes around and low and behold he gives my son a combined Christmas and birthday gift. It cost around £10. I don’t care about the price, he could’ve got him two gifts for £5 each. One for birthday, one for Christmas. It’s not about the price, it’s about the principle.

AIBU to think he’s been a complete arse considering he knew my stance on the matter? We’ve only been together a short while so I wouldn’t have really expected him to get him anything. But it feels like he has intentionally done this to make some sort of sanctimonious point?

He has known this child 6 months and is not remotely related to him. I'd say it was nice that he bought him anything.

I am not sure he will be a BF for much longer tbh

I wouldn't like to combine either but I think you're seriously overreacting.

It's the thought that counts. Does your DS care?

Blimey.

I agree with you about christmas/birthday presents but you're definitely overreacting

It was nice of him to buy him anything. Why did you expect him to?

yabu

I don't think I could be with someone who went out of their way to 'spite' me, for want of a better word. It's a bit mean to the child anyway, let alone trying to prove a point to you where the DC is the one who loses out.

To be honest, you sound quite controlling. Telling people what you will & will not accept is pretty arrogant don’t you think?

You admit that you & bf haven’t been seeing each other for long. your bf is going out with you, not your ds. He doesn’t have to buy him anything.
To me, you seem to have quite a sense of entitlement.

I think 6 months in you should think yourself lucky he bought him anything tbh and also he could have struggled finding one present never mind two.

I think you’re being a bit precious seeing as how this person has only known your child for 6 months but I have a Christmas baby too so I understand the irritation. I’d cut him some slack this time though

Whatever happened to just being thankful people get you a gift? He barely knows your ds and he got him a present. Say thank you and move on.

My sons birthday is the 27th and last year he was bought Christmas pjs for his birthday, wrapped in Christmas paper!!

My best friends birthday is the 22nd and he was always bought joint gifts that cost the same as his sisters presents, never a separate birthday present. Harsh xx

Does he expect separate Birthday and Christmas presents from you?

If yes, then he is cheeky to give DS just one present.

If he can't see your point that it's not fair for Christmas kids to receive just one present then you're on completely different wavelengths and I would rethink the relationship.

But yes, the relationship is new so maybe he think she it's too early to be giving presents.

YANBU, I can't abide people who always have to make a point even in spite of someone else's feelings, a child in this case.

My sister was a Christmas baby and hated combined gifts

OP YANBU

it's basically not having a birthday

People on here are bloody unreal. Your boyfriend has done this despite your conversation about it, if he was struggling for gift ideas or money he'd have told you then and been apologetic and embarrassed. Those who say you should be grateful for the gift - would you be grateful for a gift you were given as a joint present for Christmas if your birthday was in June! The person receiving the gift is a child!

I actually agree with you OP but your wording doesn’t sit right with me “won’t accept that for my son”, I dunno it just sounds a bit controlling or something.

Has he bought him anything in the six months he’s known him? Little packets of sweets/match attacks/lucky bags etc?

he could have struggled finding one present never mind two.

I don't think I'd want to be with anyone who 'struggled' to find two small presents for a 7yo.

it doesn't sound like this guy is a 'keeper'. If he was serious about this relationship, surely he'd have (a) taken note of your views and (b) wanted to start building a relationship with your DS. Not being able to expend a tiny amount of effort (not necessarily money) to get a separate birthday present is a poor show.

jumperoonie people’s attitude on here about money always makes me laugh! “Lucky he bought him anything” ugh I’d hate to have such low expectations!

If you hadn't already had the conversation you did then it would just be one of those things. But in light of the discussion you had it sounds like he has done it deliberately to upset you. I wouldn't be impressed.

Spending £10 on your GF’s child is really stingy, whether it’s birthday, Xmas or whatever. I couldn’t be doing with this.

Maybe he just bought him a Christmas gift, and wouldn’t have bought him a birthday present anyway, even if it was another time of year?