To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

[GunpowderGelatine]

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

A friend of a friend who I can't stand... photo of flashy necklace "I have the best boyfriend ever, what a lovely surprise!"

Yeah Love... he was giving the bar girl a nice surprise behind the bins in the alley on Christmas Eve at 2am too, in full view of the open beer garden gate (idiot!) 👏😂

I wonder how he's going to ring in the new year 😁

My friend posted about how she asked Alexa to play a particular song when she was in her bedroom and then heard her son shouting at it - the one in his bedroom had been activated. Oh, and then she heard her husband shouting at Alexa downstairs- that one had come on too! .

Absolutely stealth boasting that they have (at least) 3 Alexa devices in her house.

One 'friend' of mine got a razor off her husband and gloated about it on fb!! The fact of the matter is that she has woeful personal hygiene and could have also done with a toothbrush and deodorant but that aside I would have slit my husbands throat if he bought me a razor for xmas. I also would never in my wildest nightmares put it in social media either mind.

Another - "when you look at your washing pile and realise your kids are better dressed than you are 🤣🤣" followed by a picture of the designer labelled kids clothing 🙄

A flurry of photographs of immaculate, Christmas decorated house, a mountain of wrapped presents ( coordinated) and presents spilling out of the designer bags from which they came. Later accompanied by beaming children/ teens in coordinated pyjamas opening said presents and aghast at the designer labels! #unfuckingnecessary!

The ones with the photos of the graduation ceremonies, class of degree included.

I have four Alexas in my house (non-stealth, non-boast), and they've never all started playing the same thing all over the house. Weird.

I don't know if this is a stealth boast, but a friend posted a video of her husband opening a Christmas present yesterday. It was in the garage, but not wrapped, just covered in a tablecloth (because it was too big to wrap). Her husband, looking quite uncomfortable, removed the tablecloth to reveal...a fire pit! A $75 fire pit, not a $750K Lamborghini. 🙄

Christ, think you lot need to get a life and stay off social media if you don't like seeing other people's happiness.

The photos of the huge piles of presents for their only child, captioned ‘I can’t wait to see my little prince/princesses face in the morning’

Always referring to their car by its make rather than just ‘my car’

Friend who is about to buy a hot tub posting photos of himself EVERY DAY for a week testing them out in different showrooms - just in case we didn’t know he was buying one.

Grr, gets my goat when SIL and BIL think they are doing so much by having MIL with dementia over for Christmas but can't be arsed to visit her for the past number years since FIL died (as we have too many commitments/cash flow problems) but post on SM the car you've bought for teenage kid for Christmas.
"A granny is for life, not just for Christmas!"

Christ, think you lot need to get a life and stay off social media if you don't like seeing other people's happiness.

I'llentertain myself by bitching on Mumsnet instead shall I?

@WhyDontYouComeOnOver are you stapler lady?

Me anytime I manage to empty the washing basket.

Although to be fair I am not stealthy about it

If that's what floats your boat, but it's a bit shit.

Not stapler lady, but quite like other people's happiness in this world of shit. Also don't understand why people stay following those that clearly wind them up. Remove them if it makes you that annoyed you have to create threads on Mumsnet. It's not. Rocket science.

I think the light hearted was lost on someone OP.

'It's a Hunter's wellies kind of day'......... posted by someone who had obviously bought her kid a pair and wanted to show them off. Not just any kind of wellies day. A Hunters Wellies kind of day.

I mean......they're wellies ffs.

Another who faux cringes at being told she looks about 17 and not old enough to have a 10 year old. I know her very well and know she loves it when people say that, so I eyeroll when she posts about being annoyed by it.

Some sour faced bosom hoikers here. Can't you just live and let live. Peace on earth and all that?

Multiple Alexa family must have a small house.

I have a Facebook friend who will post a photo of something really mundane, like her lunch or cup of tea, but she always manages to have the same designer items next to the plate, or in the background. Think designer purse on the table. It's like, okay love, you bought or were gifted two or three designer things in your life, no need to shoehorn them into every photo to pretend you're rich,

I was a member of a particular group where another member headed off to Spain ‘one week and i’ll be in benidorm’ ‘jetting off tomortiw’ ‘At the airport just waiting to board’ ‘yay have arrived and having a pint’ ‘hello from Spain’ Then he commented on something adding that he was in Spain. I couldn’t resist ‘wow Derek are you in Spain? You never mentioned it!’ It was lost on him though.

“Does anyone know how I can get my new Michael Kors smart watch sorted, I can’t get it to connect to my account” with photo of blingy watch and gift packaging.

The best bit was one of the replies...

“Sorry hun can’t help as I have the new Apple Watch”

Nah, the lighthearted wasn't lost on me, thanks.

Sometimes, when someone claims "lighthearted" on Mumsnet, they think means that they can slag others off for ridiculous reasons and that's OK. Nope. Still means you're being a knob.

Maybe these people are proud of their wellies, or posh purse, or Spanish holiday. Maybe posting their pictures makes them happy. Maybe their lives are shit in other ways, as are many peoples, and they're creating a happy illusion as it makes them feel better.

To be fair @BadgerWithSprouts Michael Kor smart watches are notoriously bad at pairing with phones.

They're cheap crap folks, don't buy one.