To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

[GunpowderGelatine]

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

I posted my daughter's graduation photo because I was so proud of her. Her father died suddenly just before she started her final year and somehow she found the strength to carry on. It was the proudest day of my life when she graduated.

I'm not on FB but see a lot of images on Pinterest titled "It's a [insert item of clothing/type of food etc etc] kind of day today" no, it isn't.the at is everyone else's day too. Who are YOU to decree the type of day it is? Be quiet!! And get on with your day!

I have an acquaintance who constantly posts about her good deeds. She collects second-hand clothes from the local community and sends to a particular country (her mum's hometown) to poor people. Now with Christmas my feed is 50% her.
It does look strange to read "just spent three hours getting rid of this stain so some poor child could use it" with before-and-after photos of a well worn supermarket "basics" range t-shirt. The person in question is a multimillionaire with a ~£3m house, live-in staff, hosts extremely lavish parties etc., but you could NEVER tell it from her social media feed - it is all about doing good on a super-tight budget. On one hand, I do appreciate that she does something positive, on another hand I cannot shake off the feeling that it is some sort of a humblebrag.

Most of them are so transparent that it’s just funny to read. Brightens up the dark winter days!

The only one that makes me think, “oh give over love” is the friend who always posts after their daily run, letting us all know how far she managed that day and how fast. She posted on Christmas Day to the say that her husband had entered her into one of those endurance obstacle course run things as her Christmas present and what was wrong with a spa day etc etc?!

You just have to laugh at it. I have one particular friend and I dont think her kids can fart without it been put on SM. She shows off her holidays, her big extension, meals out 3 or 4 times a week, kids always dressed in designer clothes.
She is the nicest person in RL and is the first to admit they are up to their eyeballs in debt and is stressed to hell.
However she always has to make life look perfect for SM! I don't get it?

@BadgerWithSprouts
@PyongyangKipperbang

Hope you don't mind a tag, and being off topic.. . But which smart watches do you/ dh have? Would like one to answer calls, see emails and texts and not too massive (maybe step counter?)

@Squirrel26 - you don’t staple cards to the wall, you staple them to a piece of string (or fancy gingham ribbon if that’s your thing) and then hang up the ribbon so all the cards are displayed.

This one got a bloke deleted: aeriel photo of new house with garden measured up in Google and the caption "ugh. When you realise why the former owners paid for three green bins"

Hilarious bit- while larger than the average garden its only about 0.1 of an acre.

Still. Can't be having with that level of non subtlety on my feed.

No contribution to make other than to say I'm loving this thread 😆😆

I have a few offenders on my list and I don't want to delete them or hide them! It's not that simple. I like them in REAL LIFE, I just feel a little bit embarrassed for them that they don't realise how transparent the boasting is.

The boasting that really annoys me the most (as a feminist) is anything along the lines of ''my husband really loves me''. I think bully for you love doesn't make you more valuable, it really doesn't. We don't need a man's adoration to come across as valuable, what we need is to feel valuable without it. But endless posts about how blessed she is because '''hubby'' brought her breakfast in bed again/handbag/pale blue box

And we have the jealousy claims again, despite the OP saying it's lighthearted. Women couldn't have an opinion on something without being jealous now could we?

Stealth boast vs sharing happy things depends on the post and the person.

E.g. One friend of mine loves sharing nice things and it's all about 'here's something nice. No boasting. No hinted boasting. Just a nice simple 'this is something nice or fun'

Another friend will like to pity post so the tone is always 'I'm so grateful for... because after all my life has been so much more difficult and dramatic than yours'

Someone else I know does the stealth boast with the carefully curated images and obvious hint of 'but look, look at this... look how popular/wealthy I am'

I’d love to post and join in, but I’m soooo busy packing for my ski holiday I just am so rushed off my feet. Haven’t even had time for breakfast so I’ll just have to make do with champagne and smoked salmon at the airport. Also a bit worried I’ve packed too much into my new Rimowa suitcase and my ski bags won’t fit in the private transfer car that is meeting me. Gosh, so stressful.

Agree - stealth boasting is not what most of the posts being highlighted here are. Graduation, excitement about Christmas/new car/new house etc are not stealth boasting and I'd be perfectly content to see most of these.

I do think there's an element of how you feel about a person bleeds into how you feel about their posts. I have one woman who I don't particularly like (she's good friends with extended family though so I can't really delete her) and her posts annoy the hell out of me. I can look at them on the basis of @redcarbluecar's (excellent) definition and say they're not stealth boasts.... but every single time I see one it sets my teeth on edge. I could take her off my newsfeed but for some weird reason I WANT to see them and continue to be annoyed by her. Which doesn't say something that nice about me, admittedly.

There's one woman I'm friends with on fb. Don't know her, she's a network marketer

She had a c section about 8 days ago. About 3 days after she went shopping for designer shoes. Then went to IKEA. Had 16 or something people for Xmas day. Then had a party at her house. She's there bopping away. Every post is 'I'm super woman' and she literally has thousands of likes on every post.

From the mother who's had 3 c sections (my last one was only 3 months ago) this is not cool. And you will probably end up taking forever to recover and end up with an infection in your scar....but whatever you keep putting social media before anything else love

I’m totally down with seeing my friends having and doing nice things. It makes me feel happy too. But just be blatant and don’t try and humblenrag.

So I’ll ‘like’ a photo of a friend in the BA lounge with a glass of champagne “off to Brazil. Super excited! See you all in 3 weeks”. That’s lovely. Have a nice holiday mate, can’t wait to see some Brazil photos.

I will not like a post like my one just above. That’s a lameo way to post.

Actually, with the woman who annoys me I think it's the hash tags. Checks into fancy hotel #bestliving #lovethisplace #servicewithasmile

@sushimonster - you nailed it!

I always find it funny when someone posts a selfie on a train and they positioned their head/camera in such a way as to capture the "first class" written on the headrest. Are we supposed to be impressed by that??

One friend posted pics of her Xmas shopping all lined up with every designer bag faced forward and label showing.
Have another friend who's well know for posting every little boast. Pic of a new pair of Armani jeans with caption "thanks for the new Armani jeans" her DH name"". Pic of their suitcase packed and open ready to go in holiday - every designer logo facing top and lined up (15-20 logos showing). Her son's birthday - a video of him counting his money from them with them prompting him constantly with "how much was that? (As if they didn't know). Each holiday - countdown for months "only 3 months until our 5 star luxury spa resort holiday to xxx" and then this weekly for the last 6 weeks. Very cringey and she has no clue that far from being impressed people are rolling their eyes. It's actually quite sad she feels the need.

A photo on Facebook talking about her "thigh gap" and how it just was natural. The photo was of her knees and the bit of thigh just above them.

Friend who is about to buy a hot tub posting photos of himself EVERY DAY for a week testing them out in different showrooms - just in case we didn’t know he was buying one.

How vulgar! Sex ponds Hot tubs are so last decade.

@Yearofthemum
*
The ones with the photos of the graduation ceremonies, class of degree included.

Yeah that’s not stealth boasting ... that’s being proud of an achievement*

Totally agree with this - what's wrong with posting that on Facebook? I did, when my son graduated because I was bursting with pride for him

It’s perfectly possible to like someone but laugh lightheartedly at their social media humblebrags. I’d never delete or unfollow anyone who did this. It’s comedy gold - and that’s coming from someone who is often (embarrassingly) described as a comic genius. #dontknowwhy #awshurrup

For me the irritating posts are those that rewrite history.
Someone I grew up with is forever posting about how she and her DH are still so love since she was 17. What she fails to mention is they knew each other from 17 but didn’t get together for about 8/10 years, she was engaged to another man and had at least another LTR in that time.
Why blatantly lie? Me and my sis would comment on the exs but couldn’t be doing with the backlash

I think my favourite was the one who posted about being in a (minor) car crash but managed to shoehorn in that it was her Range Rover she was in. Another of her Range Rover stealth boasts went wrong when all the comments were pointing out how dangerously bald the tyres were.