To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

[GunpowderGelatine]

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

Most of all the things described in this thread don't bother me, i like seeing my friends post happy news or photos. One pwrson on my facebook makes me cringe with almost every post. She is in her 60's and has a new partner of a few years... lovely, glad she found happiness after her dickhead ec cheated... but every holiday like mothers day or birthday has to be shared in excruciatong detail with a tonny of photos of her piles of gifts. Every child and grandchild and friend is expected to have spoiled her rotten. She photographs her gifts and cards like a 17 year old might. The new boyfriend has clearly realised she won't be content without 3 cards and a dozen gifts for every occasion... seems like so much pressure. I dont think I am jealous, so I am not sure why it bugs me so much.

She "won't need immodium because they are staying in an upmarket all inclusive resort"

No. No. NO!! She actually said that? Well that confirms the stealth boast status of the post then, not that we needed it confirmed.

Genuine question though @brizzledrizzle, why does her staying in an upmarket all inclusive resort mean she won't need Imodium?

Is it because Imodium is included in the package? Or that she couldn't possibly get the shits in such an upmarket place?

Well that confirms the stealth boast status of the post then, not thatweneeded it confirmed.
Although maybe it wasn't a stealth boast at all. Maybe it was someone just going about their life and their life happens to be full of luxury. Maybe we should all stop being so jealous of people who are only asking for advice.

She "won't need immodium because they are staying in an upmarket all inclusive resort"

😂😂😂 brilliant.

Do we know where eyes going yet? Obviously it's very posh!

Fuckofffortnite please do tell everyone ! I hope you enjoy your new Range Rover. Stealth boasting is cringey but sharing things you're happy about / proud of with people who have chosen to follow you on some sort of SM is not something to apologise for IMO.

Also, if you've worked hard for something you want then be proud and enjoy it ! A car, shoes, holiday whatever.

2 travel tips from DD 11: Make sure your hotel has a bathroom. Never put anything other than rice in a rice cooker.

@ make sure your hotel has a bathroom

Hahaha, love it.
DS (15) added, check the toilets for snakes.
Still no idea where. I'd say she was off to an amazing party tonight but there has been no mention of it so I think she's sulking.

@Bizzledrizzle “Omg he finally listened! Enjoy Swindon, please make sure you get loads of pics at the outlet!”.

Haha...love it.
Lucky woman going to Swindon - it could have been Slough.

It’s hastags that do it for me.

Post a status about your holiday and some interesting snaps of family activities and I think “lucky you”.

Post the same with several thousand hashtags #blessed #firstclass #luxury #familytime #lovemykids #exoticplaces #needaholiday. I just think #fuckoff

@reallyanotherone my first response to #blessed is always #fuckoff 😂

excellent bizzle i like your style

she prob thinks she cant get the shits thats posh-

silly cow the bloody water will give u it anywhere

Maybe I should reply and say she`ll be fine if she follows our lead and only drinks Moet on holiday.

reallyanotherone
The only appropriate hashtag are ones that link it to an actual useful category
E.g. I'll browse certain sport hashtags and travel ones and find it nice and useful to see relevant posts, but #blessed #makingmemories #thisone #thatguy #famalam #loveisintheair #livingmybestlife #onlyliveonce #yolo #holibobs #famtime #ginoclock #throwbackthursday #maybebaby #someclichethathasalreadybeenprintedonshit #semiinspirationalthought can go die

Ahh- #thisonetho #fave #myworld

How else can a person tell the world that the person she’s hugging tightly in a photograph is someone she’s quite fond of?

My friend and I started using hashtags as a joke (neither of us are on Twitter). I hope nobody thought we were serious...