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Original poster

To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

542 replies

GunpowderGelatine · 27/12/2018 00:11

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

GrinGrin

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

OP posts:
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10
GenerationSnowflake · 31/12/2018 09:27

It all makes sense now Grin

MaisyPops · 31/12/2018 09:32

whatacarryon2018
Absolutely a mumsnetter! Grin

brizzledrizzle · 31/12/2018 09:40

Spotted one this morning - 'has anybody got some travel tips because my husband has just given me tickets for the holiday of a lifetime'

No mention of where the are going, just begging to be asked. I'm so tempted to reply 'Lucky you, you've wanted to go to boring concrete new town* for ages'

  • insert town of your choice.
Shockers · 31/12/2018 09:43

Runcorn?

Shockers · 31/12/2018 09:58

No offence to Runcornians- it just doesn’t seem like the most exciting place on the planet.

Huggybear16 · 31/12/2018 10:12

has anybody got some travel tips because my husband has just given me tickets for the holiday of a lifetime

Aaahahaha! That's almost too good. Are you going to reply with a travel tip without asking for any further info? Please do!

brizzledrizzle · 31/12/2018 10:26

I'm torn between 'Make sure you take imodium' and 'Watch out for sharks'

Shockers · 31/12/2018 10:27

What’s the most banal travel tip you can come up with?

Shockers · 31/12/2018 10:27

X post!

cricketmum84 · 31/12/2018 10:27

How about don't plaster it all over Facebook so the world and his wife knows your house is empty??

brizzledrizzle · 31/12/2018 10:30

Yes! I can't believe the stupidity of people who post their holiday photos when they are away.

Huggybear16 · 31/12/2018 10:36

@brizzledrizzle I like both of those! Taking the shine off a stealth boast with the shits is particularly good though. Nothing says "holiday of a lifetime" better than diarrhoea does!

brizzledrizzle · 31/12/2018 10:43

Posted Grin

They may never talk to me again that won't be a bad thing

MaisyPops · 31/12/2018 10:45

Brilliant brizzle Grin
I wonder if they have other friends on mumsnet who can add equally great tips whilst never asking where stealth boaster is going.

brizzledrizzle · 31/12/2018 10:46

I'll keep you posted.

Shockers · 31/12/2018 10:59

I post my holiday photos when I’m away. I do it to keep my housesitters entertained Wink.

brizzledrizzle · 31/12/2018 11:23

I post my holiday photos when I’m away. I do it to keep my housesitters entertained

How kind Grin

CoughLaughFart · 31/12/2018 11:35

Yes! I can't believe the stupidity of people who post their holiday photos when they are away.

Surely the stupid ones are the ones who make all their posts public, or have people on their friends lists who are likely to spot the house is empty and rush around there with a crowbar?

BitOutOfPractice · 31/12/2018 12:42

Not everyone on holiday is leaving an empty house behind you know...

GenerationSnowflake · 31/12/2018 12:51

have people on their friends lists who are likely to spot the house is empty and rush around there with a crowbar?

they must, or how else would their friends finance all previous jewellery shown whilst driving their brand new Ferrari in their luxury mansion full of designer gear? Grin

Huggybear16 · 31/12/2018 13:16

Fab @brizzledrizzle!

Keep us posted. Those who stealth boast often give the best funniest replies, too.

fortyforty · 31/12/2018 13:43

First stealth boast which is actually pretty sad....

She has 1 dd, pregnant with her next to a different dad...split with him. Found a new bf.

Basically saying how her new bf has been with her through thick and thin (yep for all of 3 weeks) and how there's going to be no more drama with her new little family and life is complete....adds 8 outing selfies also.

I predict the latest drama from her life will hit my fb wall by the 2nd jan....

She really is so young though....It's quite sad

brandybutterrr · 31/12/2018 14:35

I have someone on my Facebook who seems to permanently be on holiday, she posts photos of them sitting in first class every week - with the hashtag #designyourlife. I've no idea what the fuck that means.

brizzledrizzle · 31/12/2018 14:45

She "won't need immodium because they are staying in an upmarket all inclusive resort"

Shockers · 31/12/2018 14:47

I’d take that as meaning that she gets to travel first class by her own design, rather than through luck/good fortune etc. So, rather than a stealth boast, she’s saying ‘I’m so much cleverer than yoow!’ Grin