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Original poster

To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

542 replies

GunpowderGelatine · 27/12/2018 00:11

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

GrinGrin

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
huggybear · 27/12/2018 09:51

I'm not sure I even understand how most of these are stealth boasts to be honest. Especially the stapler one?!

redcarbluecar · 27/12/2018 09:55

Think the stapler one is a SB because of the accompanying picture featuring a multitude of Xmas cards.

MaisyPops · 27/12/2018 09:56

huggy
Because if you know the person and see the post then it's obvious what s behind it.

Stealth boasts are posts apparently about one thing but really the poster is screaming 'but look at MEEEEE'

For example:
Poster 1 - Having a lovely Christmas. Thanks for the beautiful cards everyone. (Festive photo) = sharing something nice

Poster 2 - Oh dear me, isn't it terrible when your stapler is so useless that it won't allow you to staple your beautifully arranged cards to the fireplace. Goodness me, what is a woman to do? It would be so much easier if they all fitted on the bookshelf (Complete with photo of 70 cards, all on ribbon ready to go) = but look at how many cards I have, look how popular I am, I'm so twee and want you to notice my strategically placed pricey items in the background, look at my faux despair... but please note the tiffany box on the coffee table.

ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 27/12/2018 09:58

I’ve got a friend on FB who posts anything from inside her brand new BMW with the dashboard/steering wheel visible and the hashtag Beemer. Even if it’s a post about going to Tesco! It’s quite funny really, and a bit sad.

thisisjustdaft · 27/12/2018 10:03

A friend frequently posts on FB, I would block her, but some of them are so cringeworthy it's worth having to plough through the dross Grin

A recent one was all about having finished work before Christmas and was along the lines of "So #tiredout but feeling so #blessed and will miss all my lovely little people, have a #fabcrimbo my lovelies xxxx" accompanied by a photo of all the chocolates and other stuff given to her by the kids in her class.

#passmethesickbucket

Grin
BasilFaulty · 27/12/2018 10:06

@sushimonster devastated Hun Grin 😯💔💔💔💔

AnotherPidgey · 27/12/2018 10:09

I'll admit to posting about being IDed... it's a bitter/ sweet moment when the cashier has to confiscate your alcohol at the checkout when you were old enough to buy it in the 90s!

It's not that stealthy though, I can't exactly go through life hiding my youthful visage Grin Wink

I don't really get the stealth boast types on my feed. Some veer towards "love my life". They work hard and play hard. I have a mystery A&E check-in "whats up hun?" "I'll pm you hun" type. She's a relative and has always gone for a dramatic approach to life.

shesabloodywitch · 27/12/2018 10:09

It's people like the OP that piss me off rather than the other way round. I know there are people like them around and so I have to be careful what I post. If we have people round I take photos from an angle that you can't see the size of the room. Same with the garden. When my daughter had a pool party for her birthday I didnt post a single picture. It would be acceptable if I took pictures in the local hall or if I had a small garden but if it's anything other than the norm you are stealth boasting. No I'm not - that's my house, that's my garden I want to post pictures like everyone else does but I feel I can't. Some people have more than you some have less. Get over it

NOTthepinkranger · 27/12/2018 10:15

Cannot win can you really?

People post that they’re struggling = attention seeking

People posting that they’re happy and enjoying their life = boasting.

redcarbluecar · 27/12/2018 10:16

‘Teacher present’ humblebrags are always entertaining. ‘omg what am I gonna do with all this?’ #teacher #inspiration.
‘Not sure I like my new hair’ accompanied by obviously staged, gorgeous photo is another fave.

DaphneBlake101 · 27/12/2018 10:17

My personal favourite was 'the biggest regret of buying a massive house is that the housework just never stops!' I'd feel for her if she'd just moved into Buckingham Palace. Less so when you realise she's talking about a 3 bed semi.

CrookedMe · 27/12/2018 10:19

The post slagging off the woman who got a necklace from her cheating boyfriend is really shitty.

necromumda · 27/12/2018 10:20

I know this one isn't a stealth boast but I have someone on my FB who hashtags
#myhusbandisbetterthanyours
constantly after regular things like "cooked me a meal" , "took the kids to school" etc
I find it really irritating for some reason

80sMum · 27/12/2018 10:20

Let's face it though, OP: the whole point of platforms like Facebook is for people to showcase their lives. It's the modern-day version of "keeping up with the Joneses".

SerenDippitty · 27/12/2018 10:21

Some people are still not getting the point about what stealth posting actually is. It’s not straightforward posting that you’re happy about stuff. Nothing wrong with that. It’s disguised boasting.

NOTthepinkranger · 27/12/2018 10:22

CrookedMe

The post slagging off the woman who got a necklace from her cheating boyfriend is really shitty

Agreed so catty and not ‘lighthearted’ as the thread is meant to be

JacquesHammer · 27/12/2018 10:23

Some people are still not getting the point about what stealth posting actually is. It’s not straightforward posting that you’re happy about stuff. Nothing wrong with that. It’s disguised boasting

I get totally what it is, it just doesn’t bother me or make me want to make fun of someone.

I love that there’s a myriad of ways people use social media Smile

SlowNorris · 27/12/2018 10:25

When my daughter had a pool party for her birthday I didnt post a single picture.

Grin Grin Grin

And when she fell off her unicorn, we didn’t even bother to do a FB ‘check in’ when we reached the hospital.

katseyes7 · 27/12/2018 10:26

This thread reminded me of Carol Vorderman posting on social media that she'd been ID'd when buying alcohol.
She's 58. l know she's very smart, but....

GenerationSnowflake · 27/12/2018 10:29

Love how the word "lighthearted" is always used as an excuse to bitch about people you are jealous of Grin

Some humblebrag are funny, true, but mainly it's people posting about their life. It's funny that it's so painful for bitter haters, why on earth are you friends on social media with people you despise?

This thread is quite funny in a cringey way, but not for the reasons you think

giveitfive · 27/12/2018 10:30

I totally got ID'd in Wilkos. I know it was a mistake. I am very very obviously nearly 50, the item I was purchasing isn't restricted..... 100% I am going to boast the shit out of that one on social media.

Agreed with previous comments.

I have friends who have posted stunning pictures of their families in matching pjs in front of beautiful trees... but without boast, just pure appreciation of how lucky they are. (I know for a fact that the pjs are on their second/third annual outing, and the tree is identical to last year - they just treasure stuff)....

I think there is a difference between pure unadulterated "I'm just chuffed with my lot" bragging (I do this often and ain't gonna change), e.g., my utter legend of a son getting a uni place offer - I even told strangers in the queue at the post office about it because I was so proud... (he had a rough start)... sorry not sorry... I will be bragging forever about it... not even going to try and be humble. I'm proud as punch...

What I chuckle at (And I keep these people on my social media for pure entertainment value), is the staged..... "omg... no room for any more designer handbags in the bespoke walk in wardrobe... stop buying them for me baby!" (With photo).

(On a side note.....I travelled business class for the first and only time a few years ago..... I instagrammed the shit out of EVERYTHING.... it was awesome..... not sorry....)

Lauren38 · 27/12/2018 10:32

What is it with people and expensive cars who just need the world to know many times over they own these cars?

A colleague showed me a photo from winter of someone who'd taken a photo of their cars covered in snow but had uncovered all of the snow on top of the BMW badge. When someone commented on the brag, they said their child had uncovered the badge. Right...

ShotsFired · 27/12/2018 10:33

Fluffyears I couldn’t resist ‘wow Derek are you in Spain? You never mentioned it!’ It was lost on him though.

Grin Many years ago on a completely different UK-focused/based forum which allowed people to "recommend" posts.... a rather sanctimonious poster spent months relentlessly shoehorning in his emigration plans to every unrelated post he could.

Till one day, someone commented almost word for word like you did. The "recommendations" went through the roof! It also had the desired effect on Mr Patronising.

MaisyPops · 27/12/2018 10:34

thisisjustdaft redcarbluecar
Oh I agree. There's a related teacher post of 'look at my marking pile.. I may appear to be complaining about marking but in reality I'm showing you all how dedicated I am to my job because it's 8am on a Sunday morning'. Meanwhile the rest of us are thinking nobody cares Brian.

AnotherPidgey
I like funny ID stories. I don't like 'oh I got ID-ed #humblebrag #maybemyMLMcoffeeisworking

redcarbluecar · 27/12/2018 10:34

Nobody has said they despise anyone. I’m sure we all do things on social media that people might take the piss out of (nature of the beast) whilst still liking us as people.