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Original poster

To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

542 replies

GunpowderGelatine · 27/12/2018 00:11

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

GrinGrin

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

OP posts:
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BitOfFun · 27/12/2018 01:55

I don't really understand the beef with graduation photos (even including the class of degree)- surely that's exactly the sort of thing that social media is designed for? There's nothing 'stealth' about it- it's straightfowardly letting your friends and family know some good news.

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/12/2018 02:02

Not on SM, but said to me by someone who refers to me as "A dear childhood friend" when introducing me.....so funny as she acts like I am poor orphan Annie that she took under her wing when actually we had the same upbringings in the same place. She likes to think she married into the upper middles, when in fact her husband is rich, but is a poor lad made good.

"I just wish people would understand how stressful it can be owning a Porsche" :o:o

BadgerWithSprouts · 27/12/2018 02:04

Thanks @shopgirl18 I don’t feel so bad about having a very cheap unbranded smart watch from china as it does at least work perfectly Grin

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/12/2018 02:08

My colleague bought himself a £30 smart watch to see if they were worth it. He walked into work today very happy with his working smart watch and, to he great credit, did not crow at our boss who couldnt get his v v expensive samsung something or other to work :o

Georgiepeorgiepuddingandpie · 27/12/2018 02:21

Not on social media (because she doesn't "DO social media!" - always said with an eyeroll and a sigh about how ridiculous the general public are for engaging in such nonsense ... This of course makes her superior to anyone who does use social media) A woman I know refers to her car as "The Lexus". She will NEVER say "the car". She will literally do anything she can do slip it into conversation "We were driving along in the Lexus the other day...", "Darling, can you go and open the Lexus?" "Have you seen my phone? Oh I must have left it in the Lexus?" Always said unnecessarily loudly in a public place. She also travels a lot and finds ANY excuse to list off every destination she's been to and for how long ... Once she starts you can't escape. I got stuck with her recently talking about how many American states she'd been to, just listing them off, and every time she forgot one she would start again ... A woman in the street made the mistake of trying some small talk with her about the weather and she ended up getting a 10 minute monologue about how the weather was affecting her particularly badly because she'd just come back from insert fancy destination here and then a list of everywhere else she had been recently and all the trips she has planned. It was SO awkward. Me and the other woman were clearly trying to change the subject/find an excuse for the poor woman to be able to escape but to no avail. If she ever received a compliment she will be sure to tell her husband about it and at every opportunity be like "What's that so and so said about me the other day darling? You remember, that thing about me being really insert exaggerated compliment here?" And her husband will have to awkwardly repeat what he has been told 😂 When she drives along in the Lexus she likes to point out of the window and laugh at people who look poor or overweight or who are wearing outfits she doesn't like - basically she aims for people who look like they have less money then her and puts on her faux posh accent to insult them. Wow I'm sorry for this huge post. This woman drives me absolutely crazy but she's a close family member so I can't avoid her without causing WW3. Looks like I needed a little rant to get this off my chest!

WhatTheFuckRichard · 27/12/2018 02:30

This thread is absolutely dripping in jealousy 😂😂 what a shame

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/12/2018 02:36

I think you mean envy WhatThe and you would be wrong. I would hate having my self esteem all tied up in what I own or earn or whatever.

Skittlesandbeer · 27/12/2018 03:08

People posting about their genuine delight or gratitude, and acknowledging achievements they’ve worked hard for and are proud of? No one has a problem with that. And social media is a great medium for it.

But there’s a world of difference between posting:

‘l just love Christmas cards and how special they make me feel, I’m so lucky to have such lovely family & friends, thanks so much’

and posting

‘Darn, my diamond-encrusted stapler needs more platinum staples so I can hang up my numerous cards and underline how important and special I am’.

There’s no ‘bah humbug’ in calling out stealth boasts, or real ones. In fact, it’s hopefully educational!

StoppinBy · 27/12/2018 03:09

Maybe I am wierd but I wouldn't even give these posts a second thought other than to like them and maybe add a passing comment.

If that's what my friends want to spend their money on, well good for them. If they want to share things they are excited about on SM, well good for them.

I agree with PP that people who find these things to be boasty need to find things in their life that they find fulfil them rather than knock others down.

Skittlesandbeer · 27/12/2018 03:12

By the way, I’ve got one on my FB feed today about how time-consuming it’s turning out to be, cleaning their boat. And a 🥺 about how it’s too hot to take the boat out today, and they’ll have to make do watching it bob up and down from the yacht club bar. Kids are devastated, doncha know.

canigetaliein · 27/12/2018 07:03

Completely agree Skittlesandbeer, lots of people don’t seem to understand the difference or that boasting is just not very nice. A family member constantly checks herself into the first class lounge/posh hotel/luxury spa etc we all know she’s wealthy so don’t really see the point. She’s in her 40s so should know better.

canigetaliein · 27/12/2018 07:06

Also personally I think fb is very passé (the youth had moved on), I barely use it anymore & notice my friends don’t either. I think the whole posting on how much you love your partner or what you had for dinner is all a bit 2010.

cricketmum84 · 27/12/2018 07:16

I have a Facebook acquaintance who does the car thing...

"Just taken the Mercedes to the garage"
"Just washes the Mercedes"

Alright love we all know what you drive now!!

redcarbluecar · 27/12/2018 07:20

‘Soooo tired from spending all day cleaning the leaves out of our swimming pool’

PattiStanger · 27/12/2018 07:23

Is your friend Sheila Bloom cricket?

Mayrhofen · 27/12/2018 07:28

@BitOfFun I agree. I thought the very same thing about graduation pictures. It’s a pretty big thing after three years of stress, tears and partying and the start of a new era in ones life.

I say that as someone who hasn’t been to university either.

steff13 · 27/12/2018 07:28

I am always thrilled to celebrate people's achievements on FB. Just got a promotion? Awesome! Your kid just got a great report at school? Amazing! Paid off your car? Yay!

steff13 · 27/12/2018 07:31

Multiple Alexa family must have a small house.

Ooh, does that make my post about my multiple Alexas a stealth boast that I have a big house?

LittleAlbatross · 27/12/2018 07:34

Family member lives in Dubai. Her Facebook feed is one long not really stealth boast.

Here's the view from my villa. Here I am at the luxury hotel. Here I am wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, whilst standing by the pool in a bikini. Here's me in business class on the plane. Etc, etc.

The really funny thing is that because she posts so much (think 3-4 times a day) then Facebook's algorithm often buries a lot of her posts. So if she hasn't had more than one or two likes then she will share her own post within a couple of hours. Grin

whatnametouse · 27/12/2018 07:40

Is it a stealth boast when you don’t like someone ?

Wondering now if people are looking at anything I post (few and far between) - my friends thinking “that’s nice” and some others thinking “bitch look at her showing off”

I live abroad so things that are everyday life here probably look like showing off to some people

silvercuckoo · 27/12/2018 07:40

Another who faux cringes at being told she looks about 17 and not old enough to have a 10 year old.
It depends on whether this friend actually looks 17. I have a good friend who looks a solid 14 (she is 34 and a couple of weeks older than me). She's also blessed with a very high-pitched "girly" voice. It is genuinely a source of constant pain to her, from delivery people asking whether there's a grown up in the house, to patients refusing to engage with her and asking for a "real" doctor. She was also reported once to the social services as a teenager skipping school and drinking alcohol (she had a glass of wine al fresco after a gruelling night shift).

sulflower · 27/12/2018 07:44

I regularly see posts from someone saying 'bad hair day' or 'I look like shit' followed by loads of selfies of her with salon hair and done up to the nines.

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 27/12/2018 07:47

I have people on Facebook that do almost all of these things. The difference between stealth boasting and just sharing information, is in the people.

I know the people I have on Facebook. Someone can have matching pj's and a pile of presents, but I know they are NOT stealth boasting. They are really just sharing their joy. It's the kind of people they are.

And there are some with similar photos and I KNOW they are stealth boasting. And I roll my eyes at them.

It has nothing to do with being jealous or envious. We know who these people are. And sometimes, it's okay to call it out.

Hoppinggreen · 27/12/2018 07:52

Dbro and Sil are awful for this
He puts links to expensive hotels on FB with “ next holiday babe?”
She posts photos of shopping bags from Selfridges saying “ exhausted”
Still, if it makes them happy (it doesn’t they hate each other, live completely separate lives and are only together for financial reasons)
I find that the happier and more secure ( and usually richer) people are the les they do this so whenever I see a SM Bragging post I tend to think “oh dear, I wonder what’s wrong”

cricketmum84 · 27/12/2018 07:52

My sister is 34 but looks a lot younger. She used to constantly stealth boast about getting asked for ID. Until the time she had a bad day at work and went to pick up some gin in her way home but didn't actually have any ID on her. She doesn't stealth boast anymore 😂😂

P.s this is lighthearted and being the wonderful big sister that I am I took her some gin that day and listened to her vent about her shit day!