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Original poster

Dilemma - do I hurt DD's feelings or endure the pong

216 replies

YankeeCandlePong · 26/12/2018 11:24

Lovely DD(13) is very proud of herself because this year she has used her own pocket money to buy gifts for DH and me. Problem is she has bought me a huge Yankee Candle (amaretto apple). I've not even lit it yet and the smell is nauseating me.

Do I tell her I appreciate the thought but could we please change it? Or do I endure the stink for the next year? And it will last a year as the bloody thing is huge!

OP posts:
Earthakitty · 27/12/2018 18:10

What a sweet girl.
Be grateful your daughter is a thoughtful soul and not a brat like so many are today.
Just light it and say nothing.
You'll hurt her otherwise.

BaeBae · 27/12/2018 18:12

Light it!

Gth1234 · 27/12/2018 18:13

if you've already lit it, there isn't much you can do.

In general terms, I can't see an issue changing it for a scent you like better. Surely that wouldn't cause any issue.

Thewifipasswordis · 27/12/2018 18:13

Light the candle Op. I would have been mortified and hurt as a kid if my Mum did what you want to do.

wizzywig · 27/12/2018 18:15

Wait, could the present be payback for not so nice presents youve gotten her in the past?

Catsandbootsandbootsandcats · 27/12/2018 18:16

My son bought me a huge woodwick candle, Honeysucke smell. It doesn't smell great. And it's bloody enormous. And this was after I said no candles as I have loads and hardly use them. Still, I will use it at some point and tell DS how great it is. And it might smell better lit than not, another one I had did.

Or maybe we can swap, amaretto apple sounds nice! Grin

RomanyRoots · 27/12/2018 18:16

There's not much chance of her having kept the receipt, so if asked she'll know you don't like it and can't change it.
That will make her feel worse than if you asked and it could be changed.
I'd just keep it and not go near that can of worms tbh. Grin

DanielRicciardosSmile · 27/12/2018 18:22

Glad you found a good compromise in the end. I think that, between now and Mother's Day (February half-term?), a mum-and-daughter shopping trip is called for with a visit to Yankee Candles to rave over a scent you actually like, just in case.

caringcarer · 27/12/2018 18:28

I would tell her you are saving it for New Year. Then slip out and get one that looks the same but scent you can tolerate. Then switch wrapping so you can burn new one but with wrapper off one she bought. Be sneaky.

Steamedbadger · 27/12/2018 18:31

All Yankee Candles are horrible imo. But in your position I wouldn't have told her that! Glad you found a solution OP

dorisdog · 27/12/2018 18:37

I'd endure it, personally.

dorisdog · 27/12/2018 18:38

Awww, I read your update. great idea.

PinaColada1 · 27/12/2018 18:43

Actually my older DS got me a candle. I hate them! I said that I really, really appreciated it, but that I wasn’t into candles and would he mind if I swapped it.

To be fair I did give him money and he spent 10 mins, so he understands. I think if my kid had spend ages, I’d suck it up.

CherryPavlova · 27/12/2018 18:47

Endure with joy for a while. Then accidentally drop it whilst cleaning.

Fairyhill · 27/12/2018 18:47

Tell her she’s spent too much on you and you feel to guilty over it -( they are bloody expensive anyway ) and could you return it and get a smaller candle and give her back the difference .. small candle ( scent of your choice forever then ) 💕

Cheeeeislifenow · 27/12/2018 18:53

No, it would make me ill.

TheBigFatMermaid · 27/12/2018 18:56

Glad you have found a solution!

I have a 13 year old DD who is the same, loves to carefully choose gifts and almost enjoys giving more than receiving.

We love wax melts and she was most excited about buying me a selection of those. Luckily they wear out quite quickly, but she went to a small shop that does selections. She picked a mixed box and made e smell each one on opening it Christmas morning. We have similar taste (light, fresh, sometimes a little fruity), so I love them all!

hoistmeupjudy · 27/12/2018 18:57

I have that candle & quite like it Blush

But.....I very much consider it a Christmas candle, so could you put it away the decorations for next year even though it's not finished?

Marcipex · 27/12/2018 19:04

I'll swap for the Cherry one. It's like being in a burning-down sweet shop. It's also the size of a phone box.

user1472151176 · 27/12/2018 19:10

Keep it, don't change it or mention it. How lovely that she spent her own money. What a lovely young lady you're raising.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 27/12/2018 19:22

Absolutely you have to tell her, why do people pussyfoot around kids, she’s old enough to be told

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 27/12/2018 19:24

Accidently drop it 😬

Cheeeeislifenow · 27/12/2018 19:26

But what is the point of the question? Asking someone why they didn''t do something Christmas morning? Who cares? It wasn't a big deal and the only thing it accomplishes is pointing out to dh he forgot to do something. To make him feel bad. Maybe my marriage is different but I just don't see the point in this. I would just do it and get on with things. I don't need to know "why" my dh forgot.

Maybe so that next time there is a task to be done he won't sit around and wait for his wife to do it. He might take a bit of initiative and do it himself.

Cheeeeislifenow · 27/12/2018 19:27

So..this is the wrong thread!!!!

sj257 · 27/12/2018 19:47

Put some vicks round your nose and light it!