Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dilemma - do I hurt DD's feelings or endure the pong

216 replies

YankeeCandlePong · 26/12/2018 11:24

Lovely DD(13) is very proud of herself because this year she has used her own pocket money to buy gifts for DH and me. Problem is she has bought me a huge Yankee Candle (amaretto apple). I've not even lit it yet and the smell is nauseating me.

Do I tell her I appreciate the thought but could we please change it? Or do I endure the stink for the next year? And it will last a year as the bloody thing is huge!

OP posts:
Augusta2012 · 26/12/2018 13:36

Just burn it.

It took me a minute to get this one hairydogsfeet

GrinGrin

ErrolTheDragon · 26/12/2018 13:41

Use it outside in the garden in summer.

Or now - I like the idea of a candlelit patio. I've not got round to doing it yet, but in my utility room I've got a lot of partially used scented candles - DH used to like them in the bathroom until he realised why the tiling was getting dirty.

LegallyBronde · 26/12/2018 13:45

Could it have an accident and develop a crack...? Then it wouldn't be safe to light and buy a replacement for yourself and feign surprise or lie and say it was out of stock/you couldnt see one if she mentions the new candle having a different scent?

Shambu · 26/12/2018 13:46

'Save it' for the summer and use it outside to keep the midges and mosquitoes away

raviolidreaming · 26/12/2018 13:57

Store it in the shed, 'accidentally' break it, swap it for others with a friend under the ruse that it's in such demand, tell her you're allergic... What the fuck is wrong with some of you?! If you must, just keep the lid on tight and never light it on the basis that you don't want to waste it. Don't be a dick about it though.

neveradullmoment99 · 26/12/2018 14:00

You cannot change it. She will be SO hurt.
However what I would do is burn it once and then just leave it. Eventually toss into the bin and replace with a different one that looks the same but a different scent.

Pernickity1 · 26/12/2018 14:02

It would be very, very mean to say anything! I can imagine a girl that she would be crushed if you said you didn’t like it. It’s just a candle - not worth potentially upsetting your sweet DD over so just keep it and pretend you love it.

If anyone else gave you a gift you weren’t keen on you’d graciously accept it as that is the polite thing to do. This is no different, in fact it would be even more important to do the polite thing in this case as it’s your own child you’d be upsetting!

Pernickity1 · 26/12/2018 14:03

A girl that *age

BrokenWing · 26/12/2018 14:03

Endure for a couple of weeks, it might be ok once lit and you might grow to like it. She can also maybe have a shot of it in her bedroom, use in bathroom when you have guests etc. If you don't like it after a couple of weeks say as it Christmas scent you are putting away and saving the rest of it for next year (and hope she forgets).

Make a point of regularly mentioning the type of scents you like before your birthday/next Christmas.

Tofurkey · 26/12/2018 14:14

I'd just carve out a big chunk when she isn't about and light it so it melts evenly !

Tofurkey · 26/12/2018 14:15

If anyone else gave you a gift you weren’t keen on you’d graciously accept it as that is the polite thing to do.

You wouldn't actually keep it out to make you want to heave though.

Tofurkey · 26/12/2018 14:16

I can only imagine the people saying keep it aren't very sensitive to smells or they'd never suggest keeping something around you that makes you want to vomit!

Whisky2014 · 26/12/2018 14:24

@PivotPivotPIVOTTT

That made me smile. I must've been 11 or 12 and I bought my mum a "mum" necklace from Argos. Quite possibly the first gift I ever bought her. She didn't wear it, she put it in a tiny picture frame and kept it by her bed. I remember thinking when i saw it that she must have been to embarrassed to wear it but i understand now!

Whisky2014 · 26/12/2018 14:24

Tofurkey or maybe they are more sensitive to their children's feelings?

Tofurkey · 26/12/2018 14:28

Tofurkey or maybe they are more sensitive to their children's feelings?

Yeah, sure. I've known some raging mummy martyrdom before but "keeping something that makes me want to vomit so I can prove my love" is new.

I'd work on raising some more resilient children tbh. If a kid can't be told that something smells lovely but I feel a bit queasy from the scent you have an issue.

Whisky2014 · 26/12/2018 14:33

I think its different because its the very first gift she has bought her mum. But harsh imo

PsychoCrayon · 26/12/2018 14:34

I just read your thread out to dd (14) and she said if it was me and her, she’d be more upset at the thought I’d think her too immature to not deal with something like this. She’s rather me have something I liked and if it’s just a straight swap for a different smell it’s not a huge deal.

(But then again she’s just asked if she can return the echo I bought back to amazon in exchange for credit so she may just be trying to sweeten me up 🤣)

Allthewaves · 26/12/2018 14:35

Burn it outside everyday while she's at school and bring it in just before she arrives home.

DaysOfCurlySpencer · 26/12/2018 14:35

Make sure she knows how much you love the idea, but tell her there is a perfume you really like but would never have bought for yourself, and would she mind if you exchange it.

My mother kept the gifts I gave her for so long, when she died I had to dispose of them, many unused. I was never sure if it was because she 'saved' things due to the make do and mend life we had, or whether she had shown them off to friends and neighbours and then put them away because she didn't like them.

Better to get one you like and let her see you use it, rather than pretend.

LionsHeart · 26/12/2018 14:35

Put it in the bathroom, where the heat will raise a gentler scent to freshen the room.
Tell her that you're going to buy a baby powder one next, to bring back lovely memories of her when she was a baby...

Allthewaves · 26/12/2018 14:36

Bathroom is good idea with window open

UserMe18 · 26/12/2018 14:44

It's only a burn time of 65-80 hours as it's a 2 wick so it won't last that long, I also wouldn't worry about getting it for years because it's a range from Yankee that'll be quickly retired I believe. So I'd endure it out of politeness, find out what scents you do like and egg it on for next year.

AviatorShades · 26/12/2018 15:02

Endure, endure,endureSmile and you've had some great suggestions as to how to use it,too.
I particularly like the bathroom idea btw.Smile That'd work.

Reminded me tho...ds, when he was about 8, once bought his dad a bottle of LynxShock DH put some on every morning before he went to work (and spilled some en route every day) and kept a spare uniform to change into once he got there. Bloody stuff absolutely STINKS! But DS was thrilled to have bought it,wrapped it,etc. and there was no way DH ever hinted it wasn't his most fave aftershave EVERGrin

Loved him even more for thatStar

dontgobaconmyheart · 26/12/2018 15:23

Ah God OP, I feel your pain but you can't tell her on this occasion surely, bless her! I'd either stick it on a shelf and pretend I didn't want to light it as it looked so nice/had meaning (a lot of people do this any way don't they!) And hope she forgot about it in time; or if you're desperate whack it on the stove/microwave when she's out (bloody carefully, melted wax is dangerous), get the wax melted and tip it out periodically, or light it outside if I were up for the long game!
Yankee candles often give me a headache, the artificial scents can be quite cloying, I feel your pain!

Corabella · 26/12/2018 15:35

you absolutely endure it! who the hell tells a child who used their own pocket to go change it?! man up op it cant be that bad.

Swipe left for the next trending thread