Dilemma - do I hurt DD's feelings or endure the pong

[YankeeCandlePong]

Lovely DD(13) is very proud of herself because this year she has used her own pocket money to buy gifts for DH and me. Problem is she has bought me a huge Yankee Candle (amaretto apple). I've not even lit it yet and the smell is nauseating me.

Do I tell her I appreciate the thought but could we please change it? Or do I endure the stink for the next year? And it will last a year as the bloody thing is huge!

Noooo you can't swap it, I would Be devastated by this at 13 and resent you for it.

Can you swap it when she’s at school for another one the same colour but with a milder smell.

She might not notice.

My DD is burning Pink Sands at the moment -its nice and light .

You could try to edge her into the lighter colour ones ( for future reference )

Baby Powder / Clean Cotton/ Soft Blanket (with the adorable little teddy bear picture )

My DC know I cannot stomach te smell of lavender so I'd never use anything even to save someones feelings. If it was bought in error , I'd hide it , if it was bought deliberately , I'd have to kill them (with candle fire obvs)

id tell her that youre absolutely delighted she chose a yankee candle as you love them and you are so grateful, but you think youre really sensitive to one ingredient in this particular one, and can we go swap it for a different one, and while you do, youd like to take her for a christmassy hot chocolate too to say thankyou for being such a lovely daughter

SnuggyBuggy, I’m going to try that! How simple, thanks for the tip.

Please pretend you like it, at 13 I’d probably be upset as she’ll think she’s made a good choice. Could you not burn it when she’s out of the house and leave a window open?

I would endure it, tho you could leave it lit out the back for a few hours when she's out and itl go quicker then

Endure it, bless her for being so excited. Burn it outside all day long while she is at school, or whenever she's out.. You will get rid of it quicker that way.

I’ve never found Yankee candles smell of much at all when lit. Might be that I had small ones though. And I now have more as DH got me some. Going to light one now actually. Want them all gone! Am not keen on them at all.

You're her mother. This surely isn't the first bad smell she's inflicted on you. Breathe through your mouth for a bit. Speaking as the mother of one child with the shits and another with colitis.

You absolutely can’t change it. You will hurt her feelings. She really wanted to please you and if you suggest you’d rather have another fragrance it she’ll think she hasn’t. It isn’t going to last forever. Just put up with it.

Burn it now, see if it gets better.

If not start making comments about it being lovely but overpowering when you can't open the windows and put it away in the shed fot the summer.

Then don't take it out in the summer.

Op my friend had this with her young dd, the plan we came up with was to just burn it most of the day outside in the garden, to reduce it quickly, whilst shes out, maybe at school etc, then just waft it for a couple of mins by the front door before her return, itll then blow the smell away and disperse quite quickly without nauseating too much but she'll think you've used it, then say you need another and suggest going for a smelling spree for others with her, then she will get the idea of which ones you like. Worked a treat for my friend so hopefully for you too

• I meant “I WAS round at Janes”

Yup, it's more than just the thought - it's the whole memory, expectation, security in those first few steps of independence towards adulthood - so, I guess it's time to take one for the team..

PPs have suggested YC aren't as potent when lit...a quick Google suggests maximum burn time for that particular YC (552g?)is c 65-80 hours... so not too long..?

Endure it! She must be so pleased with herself and is it really worth bursting her bubble because you don't like the smell?

Many scented candles give me a headache but I can imagine her being crestfallen if you want to change it. Can you burn it in the kitchen when you’re cooking with the window open?

I’m going to have crusty earlobes from wearing the “fashion” earrings my son proudly presented me with. My ears are allergic to anything but gold. But I will wear them, and make a fuss about how lovely they are I’m going to keep them for special occasions and then wheel them out for my birthday and anniversary...

I found out years later that the 'lovely' necklace I bought my mum when I was 12 only made is as far as the car before she changed it to one she'd brought with her.

Could you do that? Wear the earrings for a night out and then swap them once you leave the house? The only problem would be with and pictures which appeared.

Other options:
tell her you're saving it for another special occasion
put it in the bathroom or WC
store it safely and regift it next year

I occasionally wear a hideous unique necklace that DS chose for me using his own money at a school jumble sale. Sometimes you just have to suck this stuff up

Burn it in the garden whilst she is out. But do not over do appreciation or she may keep buying the same one.

It will really hurt her if you exchange it. I get it, because I'm really sensitive to smells, but I couldn't hurt her.

I’m going to have crusty earlobes from wearing the “fashion” earrings my son proudly presented me with. My ears are allergic to anything but gold.

Get the hooks changed. I bought some silver and gold hooks that I use for hanging fashion earrings in my ears. I can also get away with titanium. I can make costume jewellery and often mix/match/change earrings I've bought or make new ones to hang from the hooks I can actually wear.

Yankees are really expensive candles - just burn it for her sake.

Can you put it in a downstairs cloakroom or utility room as they are rooms that need freshening up?