To feel bad about presents I gave dd1?

[Marg0tt]

Yawn- another Christmas thread I know. But I’m just thinking about whether I’m wrong to feel guilty about the presents I gave my 16 year old dd. She got some nice shampoo, a weekly wall planner whiteboard thing, some highlight drops (make up) and two items of clothing (a jumper and dress) which although she acted thankful for, I can tell she wasn’t keen on. She’s been very grateful and I cannot fault her but I feel like the gifts were a let down- especially as her younger sister got more

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SPOIL | meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary
dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/spoil
spoil verb (CHILD) C1 [ T ] disapproving to allow a child to do or have everything that it wants to, usually so that it expects to get everything it wants and does not show respect to other people: Mr Harvey, unable for once to do exactly as he wanted, sulked just like a spoiled child.

HTH

There is a massive difference, and I know how I'd rather raise mine too. Two of them are actually adults, and I am exceptionally proud of the wonderful young women they have turned out to be. They won't need to meet partners to maintain them - how incredibly old-fashioned! - because they are well equipped to do that for themselves, with their eyes firmly set on establishing their careers. They are loving and generous too because that's how they have been brought up.

You can "spoil", ie 'treat' your children on special occasions, you know, like Christmas or their birthday. We aren't talking about every day here, nor about them getting everything they want! I get the greatest of pleasure out of seeing them unwrap gifts they love, and I am totally unrepentant! For as long as I live, they will get the best that I can give them, in every way. Try it.

Touch

I don't need to try, I'm glad mine chose the careers they wanted, rather than having to do something to gain money to keep a particular lifestyle their parents had brought them up to expect.
Of course you can treat your children, there's a huge difference between an annual treat for Birthday/ Christmas and spoiling them as you state.
You don't need to spoil your children to give them the best, and what's so old fashioned? Both my ds rely on their partners for money as their partners rely on them, it's what partnerships are about.

This thread has shocked me beyond words, I was very lucky as a child (tbh still am as an adult) and always had a lot of nice presents for Christmas God knows how my single parent mother did it for my self and my twin sister I just hope reading this that she never felt she had to buy us all those things or put the pressure on her self like lots of parents obviously do as I would never have wanted her to.

My two Nephews are very lucky little boys but are often told no I would hate to see my sister spoil them as a teacher I see the result of spoiling children and it is not pretty!

Btw nothing wrong with nice shampoo presumably it was not just herbal essence as people seem to assume or makeup, in fact, the presents to me sound fine and there is no need to make up for anything clearly you have raised a wonderful grateful, respectful and polite daughter who is happy be very proud and feel no guilt!

Some people are being pedantic on here, the word spoil can also mean to treat. As in “have a chocolate, spoil yourself”. Or “i’m going to spoil myself and have a day at the spa”. I often spoil my children but maybe I should use the word treat instead as some people are too stupid to see the difference.

I agree with the others, take her to the sales so she can pick out what she would like. Lots of savings to be had right now.

Not read the whole thread, but I've no idea how someone can "accidentally " buy more for one than the other.

I suspect you've been a bit lazy and feel guilty op. If you really didn't know what to get her then some Asos vouchers would have done it.

Nothing wrong with a luxury shampoo as a gift. I love Aveda but at between £16 and £34 per bottle (depending upon which one from the range one gets) it's definitely a "present" quality product.
My DD2 loves a wall planner, always has since she was at school.
Only "hoodies" she possesses are old school/house/uni ones. Wouldn't be seen dead in a "designer/branded" one. Loves jumpers but prefers oversized men's ones.
Looks like you got it sorted, OP so great. Take no notice of those who, having been asked for advice and given it, become affronted when you don't validate them by acting on it. It's their problem, not yours.

Yeah they don't sound much for xmas tbh. Go and have a girly day with her, take the clothes back, go for lunch with her and let her pick some bits she'd prefer

Your daughter sounds lovely OP
Glad you got everything sorted.

I think cash is always well received!
I am lucky because my dd always has an amazon wish list on the go so she is very easy to buy for.

This year from us my dd had costume jewellery, perfume, Victoria's Secret underwear and cash plus a stocking with bath bombs, sweets, face masks etc.