To make DH unwrap and rewrap presents for me?

[MincePieMum]

I want him to re-wrap my presents in the correct paper. Am I being a dick? Sorry this is long.

Every year DH stays up until 12/1/2am Christmas Eve and our DS is still young and giddy with excitement; he's prone to waking veeerrry early Christmas Day. Last year it was 4am and we did everything we could to get him back to bed but failed. This year will be no different. DH is then grumpy all day as he's not had enough sleep. Always promises next year will be different. I've been trying really hard to make this year easy on all of us. I've been wrapping a few presents a night for most of December.

I have done all the present buying for everyone including his family. Including oversees family and getting cards and presents written/posted in time.

We both work full time. He finished for Christmas more than a week ago, he had all of last week off. I finished for Christmas on Saturday lunchtime.

We've just had a massive argument over Christmas presents.

I asked him to come upstairs and help me sort through presents as I was having a massive twitch over DS present pile looking expensively small. He asked "do I have to do it now?" And I replied "how long shall I wait for you?" It turns out he meant to say "I don't want to, can't you worry about it now, then fix it all for us so that I can carry on not giving a fuck?"

When he finally came up to help, we went through it all and he agrees the pile and stocking are both small. Now he wants to buy cheap plastic tat to pad it out with. I don't as I've done this in previous years. DS doesn't play with the tat and it will still be littering our planet 1000 years from now, still with the gift tag on. I'm being negative apparently.

I suggested giving one of my presents to DS instead. One of the presents I bought myself and put in a box in his wardrobe, in front of him, saying "here are 3 Christmas presents I really want this year. I bought them, all you need to do is wrap them". Because I tried the same thing last year and he didn't bother to wrap the present I bought myself, he just moved it along the shelf a little towards my side of the bed. Didn't put it under the tree or give it to me in person. So when I suggested my present for DS, he looked completely blank. He'd forgotten.

I asked what he had wrapped last week when he made a big show of hiding upstairs to wrap, when he'd been home alone all day and I'd just got in with DS from school and needed a quick turnaround to get him back out for football. No he hadnt cooked dinner.
He has got me other things, which is great, but it turns out he has used the paper that is only for gifts that come from Santa.

I had told him I was doing this. I told him last year that we should have separate paper, but he refused as he'd left everything to the last minute. I don't want a present for DS from Santa to be wrapped in the same paper as a present from DH to me. DS is going to suss and I'd rather not risk it. He agreed or he didn't listen and nodded in the right places.

So we've argued about all of this because I'm pissed and wouldn't let him off the hook. I'm not going to back down on this. Unless the general consensus is that I'm being a dick.

Why the fuck does everyone seem to think it's ok when someone tells a story about a husband not giving a shit about gifts? It's really starting to grate on me. I'm constantly heating stories on mn and in person someone told me yesterday 'I've got something for myself this Christmas it'll be the only thing I unwrap, 15 years and DH hasn't ever brought me a present' with a sad twinkly little laugh.
You actually buy your own presents and give them to your DH to wrap?
Please tell me you don't buy presents for him?

YABU for whinging about a present being wrapped in the “wrong” paper. It doesn’t matter what paper a gift is wrapped in! Talk about first world problems!

And YABVVU for buying yourself a gift for DH to wrap. How utterly stupid. What’s the point? It’s not even a gift from him!

YANBU for expecting your DH to do more though. He should be buying a gift for you himself!

YABU. Chill out and enjoy Christmas with your family.

Well the problem is that you bouht ifts for yourself because you thought he wouldn;t be arsed, In fact you are half right - he;s forgotton what you bought, but if I'm reading it correctly he's got you other things instead. That sounds like a win win to me - he's actually donesort of better than you expected but with a bit offorgetful arsery thrown in.

Now the presents for your DS - I don;t think the size of the present pile or the stocking matters - he probably win;t notice (how old is he by the way ?) I'm wondering what this gift is that would make botha grown woman and a small child happy - can only think it is something edible. Anyway - forget the size of the present pile - it doesn;t matter - your DS will be fine.

The wrapping paper - I hate wrapping with a vengeance, so anyone who wrapped something up whatever the paper would be OK by me. But clearly the paper is important to you. Again i really don;t think that your ds will look at his presents and think 'hmm these ones are in different paper, something fishy going on with this Santa business' if he does think that then he is getting too big for the Santa myth. If he asks about it just say 'Santa has loads of paper, how else would he wrap all the gifts for all the boys and girls'. If he wants to believe he'll believe however improbable (and lets face it, same wrapping presents on different types of present is the least improbable thing he has to swallow regarding Santa.)

You are just generally pissed off with what you see as a lack of interest or effort by our DH. He;s had a whole week and hasn;t done much it seems. I would tell him that, ask him to step up his game from now on and agree to stop the argument so there isn;t an atmosphere.

I can't think that the paper really matters that much, because that would be a bit batshit odd. Don't pressurize yourself by putting such a huge emphasis on everything being perfect (ie the way you have imagined it in your head) Your Dh has gone a bit off piste wrapping wise, it's not the end of civilization as we know it Captain.

The wrapping paper is neither here nor there.

The real issue is him being a lazy, useless git who expects you to do everything including presents for his family and even for yourself, even though he has more time available.

Might be too late this year but give him notice that next year he will have to be responsible for choosing, buying, wrapping and delivering all the presents for his family,

Just re-read and it sounds like your DH HAS bought you a gift but you’re not happy about his choice of wrapping paper. You sound utterly spoiled. I can’t fathom receiving a gift and whining about the paper it’s wrapped in?! It’s just paper - get over it.

Genuinely curious - what is the POINT of buying yourself a gift "from" your DP?

Wrapping paper issue can be circumvented with tags that say "From Father Christmas".

You sound very frustrated.

YANBU . I understand why u don't want him to use that paper. I do the same for my DC. Your DH sounds like a lazy tosser. Next year refuse to lift a finger and tel him if he wants christmas then he will need to organise it all himself.

Yes milkyCuppa - I think af ew people have missed that the DH has actually bought Op presents off his own bat. So although she thought he w ouldn;t and bought things for herself, he actually has - he forgot she;d bought her own presents, but then he didn;t buy them so they probably didn't register.
I don't think this is entirely the same as those 'my Dh hasn't bought me anything for 15yrs' thread a PP mentioned. The Dh may well be thoughtless, but then again he migth just find it hard to remeber allt he rules. If you aren't a person who sets great store by getting wrapping paper right, it is hard to remember what rules have been made around it. I count myself in the 'can;t really get worked up over wrapping paper' category - so maybe I'm just not getting it.

I have done all the present buying for everyone including his family. Including oversees family and getting cards and presents written/posted in time.

This is your mistake. Stop being a martyr and everything else will be fine. Honestly, you only have yourself to blame. Change this now.

This is why it's easier to just make one gift from Santa, then you hide the paper.

Can't your Santa wrapped gifts just be from Santa? I bought fancy chocolates for my husband and myself, wrapped them and labelled them from Santa. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@bridgetreilly

"Santa can get his wrapping paper at the same place as you without the world falling down, I promise."

That's an excellent point, when I went to TJ Hughes to get more paper I swear everyone and their dog was there buying stuff.

You say you are pissed. Try thinking this over when you are sober, it will all seem different in the cold light of day.

Has he not arms and legs and brains enough to get off his arse and fucking help? What has he been doing all week - scratching his balls?!

OP I don’t think YABU, I agree re santa paper. I had ours hidden in the garage, bought in last year’s sales. About three weeks ago DH pulls it all out looking for something in front of our kids. I was so annoyed. I tried to save money by getting it and managed to hide the stuff for about 11 bloody months!!

So annoyed by Christmas Grinch partners. He sounds miserable OP. I’m sorry. Hope you have a lovely Christmas with your DS and that it’s a magical day for him.

You shouldn't have posted this on AIBU.

All you will get are the people who have never been taught comprehension skills at school and don't understand inference and deduction, (especially if the text is longer than a paragraph) having a go because it's 'just about wrapping paper'.

Your DH has abdicated all responsibility for Christmas to you, and even with already having had a week off he hasn't lifted a finger.

Is he like this the rest of the year too?

I'll get flamed but I love doing all the present buying. Its the best bit of Christmas for me. I also bombard OH with links to things I like and he picks what he wants to buy me so I get a nice surprise not a nasty one. OH is brilliant at helping with wrapping, Christmas dinner and I I never clean up because he's better at it. Works for us...division of labour suited to our skills! If the wrapping paper thing bothers you redo it yourself. Christmas shouldn't be a martyrs battlefield.

2 entirely separate answers.

YANBU to be cross that, if you both work, he isn't pulling his weight with the preparation of Christmas.
YANBU to be cross he hasn't got virtually everything sorted if he has had a week off in the run up, whilst you have been working

YAB utterly ridiculous to suggest that you unwrap and re-wrap presents.

Also total aside just how many presents are you wrapping thatyou have been 'doing a few every night throughout December' and you've still not finished ? I went through all of ours in about 3 hours on Saturday.

I agree that’s very annoying!!
All the things he was doing.

I understand where you are coming from, I have different sets of wrapping paper, one from Santa, one for my DD, one for my DS and one for everyone else. It helps me to know which goes where, especially in regards to my DD's and my DS's, I know who's is who's without having to label them all, I do the seperate Santa paper for the same reason as you, my DD would notice.
You have 3 options:

1. your DH unwrap's and re-wraps your presents from him.
2. you say they are from Santa
3. hope he doesn't notice this year and if he does make up some excuse about getting it from the same place or you had run out so one of the elfs gave your DH some to wrap your presents. Next year make sure the Santa paper is kept separately so it doesn't happen again next year which ever option you chose.

Thanks for all the replies - I didn't actually expect many. Agree my post was too long and detailed, I was very upset at having argued with DH over this.

Just to clarify or answer a few questions. Yes DH has got me other gifts. Which will be lovely I'm sure. I bought 3 gifts for me, all from Amazon. I've had them on my wish list a while and I wanted to make sure that I got them. Anything and everything else I might get is nice and I'm grateful for, I just really wanted these 3 things.

One was a game that I enjoy playing, that DS likes too. I wanted it so we can play it together. It doesn't matter whose name goes on the gift tag, it's something we will enjoy sharing.

I'm pissed as in angry, not drunk. I have chilled out though. I'm a detail kind of person, but so is DS. He's 7 and other kids at school are already saying Santa isn't real. He's questioning it and I'm trying to squeeze as many 'believing' years as I can. When he knows Santa's not real, then I couldn't give a shit what paper gets used.

And I know I need to stop enabling DH. Our first Christmas together, his only gift to me was some carpet cleaner. No joke. He spilled Guinness on my carpet and this was how he made amends. He didn't even clean it first. I'd have been more impressed if he'd cleaned the stain and wrapped the patch of living room carpet up. He has major form for shit gifts. And for leaving everything to the last minute. Hence why I've started buying myself any presents that I really want.

Your post isn't about the paper really. It's about the fact you think your DH is a lazy sod who leaves everything to you.

This. The rest was relevant because OP has literally done everything and DH nothing despite having lots of time off.

It's Christmas. Be nice to one another. Be kind. You are a team, not two opposing enemies.

How did you deduct that from the OP? Can't see any team work happening here.

OP does everything - DH does face all - he had one job wrap one gift in santa paper (and yes we do this - 3 kids 3 different paper from santa - all other gifts in different paper - saves errors and gift tags)

Next year - he has to shop and post his family - you do yours.

Give him a list that you both add to for food shopping

He cooks dinner when he's off from work unless ill.

You need to sort the basics and stop being a martyr

YAB utterly ridiculous to suggest that you unwrap and re-wrap presents.

Errr of course she's not. You have to have separate paper for santa or it's going to be ridiculously obvious! Surely everyone does this?

Totally agree about the paper. Obviously Santa doesn't use the same paper as you. Why would he?
Send him out first thing tomorrow to get Santa's paper. He won't make the same mistake next year.
I wouldn't worry about the pile of presents being too small - I think that's just consumerist angst. Presumably your DS will get presents from other people. If it does turn out that he's received substantially less than his peers then you can make it up to him throughout the year. "Guess what DS? We're taking you bungee jumping!"