To consider going to a strip club cheating?

[DonaldDucksTowel]

DP went out last night and was home much earlier than I was expecting, I asked him why and he said everyone had gone to a strip club so he got his kebab and came home

As the conversation went on he basically expected me to be very grateful that he didn’t go and came home early instead so I said “I’m supposed to be super grateful that you didn’t cheat on me, pay for the privilege and exploit a load of vulnerable women in the process? Get a fucking grip!” And basically we got into a bit of a ‘stripclubs aren’t cheating, yes they are’ back and forth for a while

I don’t understand how having a naked woman rub herself all over you would ever not be cheating - and even worse in a strip club than if you were just at a party because you’re actually paying for it! If it was a prostitute it’d be cheating so why not a stripper?!

He thinks I’m being dramatic
Do you consider going to a strip club cheating?

I consider it cheating. I'd have a massive problem with it. I don't understand how it's so normalised

OP I agree with you completely. If my partner even considered going I'd be raging. Any 'man' who wants to objectify women and watch them dance around naked for money is no man to me.

Whereartthou . In the UK?

You’re being rather harsh considering he came home rather than go!

Is he allowed to watch GOT? Where are you drawing the line OP?

Eh?

I’m supposed to be super grateful that you didn’t cheat on me, pay for the privilege and exploit a load of vulnerable women in the process? Get a fucking grip!

Is that not giving someone grief?

Imo its the same as window shopping.
You see I think that is a disgusting attitude to have towards actual women.

whereartthou yep I’ve heard similar stories, it’s disgusting 🤢

It's not cheating

It's not cheating but it's a bit grim.

kaytee no?

Badtasteflump I told him to get a fucking grip the other day because he was heaving whilst changing the babies nappy - the mere presence of a swear word doesn’t make it an argument

ababucat I agree, you don’t go ‘shopping’ for a woman ffs 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don’t think I’d consider it cheating but I would be sickened at a man who would enjoy paying to objectify women.
It says so much about how they feel about women and themselves.

God I'd hate to live in a household where swearing at each other and having 'back and forth' is considered a normal way of speaking to each other.
What you've described in your op would be considered an argument by most people.

OP I think if people never swear then they can think swearing means there was an argument.

A back and forth is how conversation works kaytee ??

"Get a fucking grip" usually indicates an argument. Fair enough it doesnt to you but that's why people are reading argument.

I would appreciate my dh had behaved better than his friends and didn't follow the crowd. Not super grateful but I would be pleased and happy to say that rather than debate if strip club is cheating.

What would an argument look like in your house??

Anyhow, back to your q. I wouldn't consider it cheating, I would consider it nasty and exploitative and would be gutted if my partner thought it was okay. I wouldn't go see male strippers either, but patriarchal society means the power imbalance is different with men watching/women stripping, so I would consider that more seedy and exploitative.

I don't think it's cheating and I've been in strip clubs.

Would you also consider porn cheating out of interest?

'Back and forth' disagreeing about something following you swearing at him isn't an argument? Do you have to be knocking lumps out of each other to consider it an argument?!

and exploit a load of vulnerable women in the process

What makes you think a 'load' of them are vulnerable?

whereartthou that sounds like a brothel not a strip club ...

Of COURSE it’s not cheating!! These women are interested in the money and the money only! Me and my DP have been to a number of strip clubs in the past and both had private dances (with women). We are a heterosexual couple. It is a service like any other.

I pity your husband. He doesn’t do anything other than do exactly what you would have expected of him, then expresses an opibion that many share (it’s not cheating, but it is grim), and you continue nagging.

Poor bloke.

Ok if people don’t swear and are shocked by swearing (which I’m surprised by considering we’re on Mn) then I can see it read as an argument, however I’ve stated it wasn’t, just a conversation whilst I was making tea and he was making toast, so that’s cleared up we can all stop saying I was giving the poor man grief
We just had a conversation
I swear
No big deal

I don’t consider porn cheating Chips no but I really don’t like it and he knows that, I think it’s the ‘real life person in front of you’ aspect that tips strip clubs into cheating for me

I’m not even going to comment on the physio/massage/ballet/GOT ridiculousness 🙄
(Although we’ve never watched GOT so can’t exactly comment on why that’s come up)