Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my son a potato for Christmas?

425 replies

eefa658 · 22/12/2018 17:38

Have lurked for about a year but finally made an account to ask this as I've had mixed reactions from friends and my DM...

DS 3 is a biter. We have tried EVERYTHING to get him to stop. Final straw was the other day when he tried to bite his 3 month old sister (he didn't manage to as I grabbed him) I had warned him last time he bit me that Santa would see and for every time he bit anybody from now on Santa would replace a present with a potato. He didn't listen, and tried to bite DD. I've told him that Santa has seen and one of his presents is now a potato.

I HATE not following through on punishments. I'm inclined just to wrap up a potato and chuck it in his stocking and then when he opens it on Christmas Day remind him that he was warned. I'm not going to throw away any of his presents, so he's not actually going to miss out he will just think he has.

DM and a few friends think I'm horrible. DH, DF and a few other friends think it's a great idea.

WIBU to do this? I'm running out of ideas to get him to stop and I really am losing the will to live over it. Please feel free to also offer tips on how you stopped your child biting...

OP posts:
WrapAndRoll · 24/12/2018 17:48

No, please don't! Christmas is surely a time for forgiving and kindness. I don't think it would be in the slightest bit "hilarious" to video a 3-year-old child mortified because Santa had decided a punishment was in order Sad

Tell him you've had a chat with Santa and asked him to give the potato as a nice present to someone who doesn't have enough food. Then give him a big hug, and tell him you know he is a good boy who won't bite other people any more because he wants to be kind.

EdtheBear · 24/12/2018 18:33

Wrap i like that suggestion, gift for the poor people.

I honestly think some people are forgetting just how young 3 is. He probably doesn't even remember last Christmas when he was 2 coming up on 3.
Mine certainly couldn't remember the previous Christmas at the same age (ok a month or so younger than ops child).

EdtheBear · 24/12/2018 18:37

She could even add since you've been so good these last few days and trying really hard etc.

Laine21 · 24/12/2018 21:09

Yes, give the potato, withhold a present and make him earn that present by not biting!

dingledangles · 24/12/2018 21:12

Omg the videoing him party was a joke!!!!!!

dingledangles · 24/12/2018 21:12

Part, not party

ShastaBeast · 24/12/2018 21:16

I think it may help, consequences and all. But having a gift he can swap it for after a time of no biting is a nice incentive.

My six year old is getting a lump of coal wrapped. She gloated about being happy to get coal, after talking about being naughty and not caring.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 24/12/2018 22:36

My ds1 (now a lovely 16 year old) was a biter. Until one day he bit his sister and she snapped and bit him back. I know it’s not recommended now, but in a way it was a “natural consequence” and he certainly never did it again.

Picknickers · 24/12/2018 23:22

I think it's genius!

smilingontheinside · 24/12/2018 23:47

My dd missed out on a trip because of her behaviour. I told her it would happen if she continued to misbehave she did so I carried out my threat. Shez grown up now and still remembers it and says "that's the day I knew you meant what you said"! Hasn't done her any lasting damage and I can't remember ever having to carry out another threat so I would do it

chrisie16 · 25/12/2018 02:43

It sounds harsh, but try biting him. Not hard, obviously. I had a biter as well, and found that he didn't understand that it hurt, until he was bitten. It cured all of his biting. I did wonder if I'd get reported though! Honestly, I truly believe that children are not naughty, they just need to be shown how to behave and that some behaviour is not acceptable. Not sure if this helps, but sometimes, extreme ways need extreme measures. I never left teeth marks, that would be too hurty. It was just enough so that he knew it hurt.

Spagyetti · 25/12/2018 03:05

Why not reward the positive - tell him Santa was so pleased he didn't bite yesterday that he has taken the potato away.

Tellem2 · 25/12/2018 03:22

FOLLOW THROUGH! It is not okay for him to think he can bit everything he sees especially his defenceless sibling.

whatamidoingwithmylife · 25/12/2018 03:54

I really can't see how the potato present would be a horrible thing. I'd follow through on what you said and hold the present back until he behaves.
The only thing that stopped my brother biting (he used to leave horrendous marks on people) was when my mum lost her temper and bit him back - he never did it again. But that was the 80s, haha. Someone would probably report you to the social these days 😄.

Polyethyl · 25/12/2018 08:52

My Dd is overjoyed that this year she didn't get a potato. Grandparents have been especially woken to tell them this joyful news.
I anticipate another year where she tells all and sundry about last year's potato.

dingledangles · 25/12/2018 18:26

How did it go OP? Hope you all had a lovely Christmas x

EdtheBear · 25/12/2018 22:28

Op are you going to say how it went?
I hope you didn't go through with it or it completely backfired on you.

WrapAndRoll · 26/12/2018 09:34

I'm guessing there was no "potato" in the first place...

ThanksForAllTheFish · 26/12/2018 10:04

I wonder if the OP gave the potato in the end?

Biting phases are awful. My DD went through it at age 2 1/2 and I was on edge the entire time. She finally stopped when she started nursery - she got bitten by another child on her first day and I think the shock of how much it hurt made her brain click to realise how sore it was and she shouldn’t bite. The nursery were off course very apologetic and surprised I wasn’t fuming. I did explain she had been going through a biting phase herself so maybe it would let her understand why she didn’t bite. It worked well and she never bit a child after that. I didn’t even think of the potato for Christmas thing or I might have given that a try at the time.

BasilFaulty · 27/12/2018 08:14

chrisie16 are you okay?

poppoppop100 · 27/12/2018 15:23

DO NOT BITE YOUR CHILD!!!!!!

GreenTulips · 27/12/2018 16:51

This reminds me of a young cousin who was fed up of being bitten by the dog - she bit the dog back and he never bit her again!!

I wouldn’t recommend biting a dog or a child. But it seems to work!

tittietinsel · 27/12/2018 16:59

This reminds me of a young cousin who was fed up of being bitten by the dog - she bit the dog back and he never bit her again!!

Bloody hell!! Where on earth were her parents Sad

Fuglywitch · 28/12/2018 16:19

Why on earth would people bite their kids back? Im shocked people think this is acceptable. If they pull hair/ kick/poke etc, would these people respond with the same? This is a slippery slope to abuse. My mum thought it acceptable to do this. I was terrified and only behaved out of fear. There's better ways of dealing with this issue and others.

Foggycannonball · 28/12/2018 16:56

“Respond to your
children with love in
their worst moments
their broken moments
their angry moments
their selfish moments
their lonely moments
their frustrated moments
their inconvenient moments
because it is in their most
unlovable human moments
that they most need to feel loved.”

― L.R. Knost

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.