To give my son a potato for Christmas?

[eefa658]

Have lurked for about a year but finally made an account to ask this as I've had mixed reactions from friends and my DM...

DS 3 is a biter. We have tried EVERYTHING to get him to stop. Final straw was the other day when he tried to bite his 3 month old sister (he didn't manage to as I grabbed him) I had warned him last time he bit me that Santa would see and for every time he bit anybody from now on Santa would replace a present with a potato. He didn't listen, and tried to bite DD. I've told him that Santa has seen and one of his presents is now a potato.

I HATE not following through on punishments. I'm inclined just to wrap up a potato and chuck it in his stocking and then when he opens it on Christmas Day remind him that he was warned. I'm not going to throw away any of his presents, so he's not actually going to miss out he will just think he has.

DM and a few friends think I'm horrible. DH, DF and a few other friends think it's a great idea.

WIBU to do this? I'm running out of ideas to get him to stop and I really am losing the will to live over it. Please feel free to also offer tips on how you stopped your child biting...

If he is getting all his gifts and a potato,then he redeems and he sends the potato back in exchange for a gift,does this mean he actually benefits as you will go out to buy an extra gift😆?(just joking).
No you are not being unreasonable to try this,you say you've tried everything so I'm not sure what to add but I hope he stops soon op.

Download PNP and get Santa to tell him!!

what's the point that will work for one day

I'd definitely do it - sounds a good idea. Hope it works

do it the little shit

What a charming way to talk about a 3 year old.

Ihatetosay

Please don't have children. Ever.

Do it, don’t threaten a punishment and not go through with it!

No, never. You should never use Santa as a punishment. Biters use it as a way to express all sorts of emotions when things are going wrong. You must teach him an alternate strategy such as lifting a hand and saying NO. If you cant do this get help. Do not ruin his Christmas its cruel. Later punishments do not work

I say go for it... a potato is nothing in the grand scheme of life and he could always earn the potato present back.

My sister was a bitter (really bad, drew blood and everything) and my mum tried everything, after my sister bit my ear and ripped by earring out my mum bit HER.

Not hard but enough to give her a nasty shock, she never bit anyone ever again... it's not a course of action I would recommend but as you can see, a potato is nothing really.

Give him the potato, you don’t have to take something away and next time don’t threaten to do something you might hold back on (says the woman who has done this to herself several times 😆)

Another that thinks you should follow through since you’ve said it. But if it’s a potato and a load of presents is he actually going to be bothered by the potato? I like the suggestion of giving it him tomorrow with the promise of swapping it for a gift if he doesn’t bite.

Bloody brilliant idea

As many have said, if you don’t follow through with a “punishment” they will never believe you. I know how hard it is once you’ve drawn a line in the sand you have to stick to your guns and not cross it. Good luck 😉

How about giving him a chewy necklace. The urge to bite may be partly sensory and giving him an appropriate outlet may reduce it.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. Cause & consequence education. Not enough of it.

Yes I think you must follow through. With Santa in the mix you aren’t the only one giving him consequences.
It sounds like a dire situation and you need other authority figures getting involved, maybe even a child behavior psychologist.

Yes. I did this. My dd got a potato last year (She was 4.) She took the point, appologised (And has told everyone about it since.)

You need to follow through. Wrap a potato but do remove a gift. If he doesn’t bite anyone all day, give him the removed gift at the end of the day.

I'm utterly gobsmacked at the amount of people in this thread who think a 3 year old will learn anything from getting a potato.

Well my 4 year old did learn something by getting a potato. ...

It’s just too delayed and a bit mean!

He needs immediate consequences and constant minding by the looks of it. Perhaps a chewie too, and give him dry crunchy snacks to bite on.

What happens just before he bites? Just before. That’s important. Is it sensory seeking / attention seeking or avoidant behaviour? You need to address this, by looking at the cause.

I don’t think it will be effective. I choose to reward good behaviour rather than punish bad behaviour. My 3 year old and my 6 year old both have charts on the fridge. Everytime they do something positive that we agreed to (like helping tidy up etc) they get a tick. Then at the end of the week if they have enough ticks they get a treat. It works really well.

Well my 4 year old did learn something by getting a potato. ...

Your 4 year old isn't 3.....

Assuming no SEN, then of course a 3 year old will understand consequences.

OP has already explained to him what will happen so she has to follow through with it. This is a child, not a dog. He will hopefully refrain from biting again. It is certainly worth a go.

YANBU OP.