Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thinking my friend is a goldigger?

177 replies

ArlaxA · 22/12/2018 14:31

She is 23 and has 2 children and she's pregnant with her third. She had her first at 18 by her ex, he has a normal job and earns a basic salary, I think he gives her around £50 a week in child support.

Second childs father is a professional sports player, they had a one night stand on two occasions and she became pregnant. He's very involved in their child's life and have a private arrangement whereby he gives her £320 a week in support. Their child is 2 and recently he was ordered by court to sell one of his rental properties and buy a family home for my friend and his child to live in until she turns 18. He's in the process of completing the sale and my friend will be moving in next year, completely rent free for the next 16 years whilst still getting £320 a week from him as the judge said she should live a similar lifestyle to her father when with her mother.

She's now 4 months pregnant by another sports player, they where together for about 6 months before she got pregnant. It wasn't planned and he wasn't happy about the news, she claims the pill failed. He is only 19 and already excelling in his career. Although he isn't happy he's vowed to play apart in the babies life when she is born. Friend and him have agreed to £200 a week child support when the child's born which will get higher as his salary increases.

So she will be living rent free in the house her second childs father has brought for her to live in, a 4 bedroom home. He knows she is pregnant and doesn't seem to care that 2 children from other men will be living in the home he is providing. She will be recieving £570 a week in child support and she claims child tax credits as she's not working (she doesn't claim any other benefits) she will be rent free too. All her children are dressed in designer clothing and she parades them on instagram and treats them like an accessory, she is proud that she has children fathered by footballers and brags about it.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 22/12/2018 14:33

More fool them for having one night stands and not using contraception that's what I say.

Kikipost · 22/12/2018 14:35

Well if she’s a gold digger, the men are stupid not to have ensured contraception themselves with a condom.

So both as bad as each other

outforawalkbitch2018 · 22/12/2018 14:37

What Kikipost said

Pannalash · 22/12/2018 14:38

If this is true you have written some possibly identifying personal financial details about someone. Bit unfair.

GruciusMalfoy · 22/12/2018 14:38

My guess is, if this is true, you've not said any of it to your friend. What are you expecting from this thread? She didn't get pregnant on her own, did she?

Nettletheelf · 22/12/2018 14:39

She needs the child support to, y’know, support her children.

Why should the second child’s father object to other children living in the house he bought? What’s the alternative? Putting the other children not fathered by him into care so that they don’t benefit from his expenditure?

I wouldn’t have made those choices but so what if she has? There are more effective ways of gold digging than that!

spotsoddsocks · 22/12/2018 14:40

She probably did have intentions, claiming the pill failed probably wasn't taking it. But they should of put something on the end of it. I very much doubt they did. Contraception isn't just the woman's responsibility. All as bad as each other.

theworldistoosmall · 22/12/2018 14:40

You do realise that protection is a two-way thing?

Write · 22/12/2018 14:40

Money aside, she doesn’t seem to be making great choices.

I don’t think you sound like a very nice friend though and you sound overly invested in the least important details (finances/designer clothes)

tinygirlsmum · 22/12/2018 14:43

Also, kids are hard work! Assuming they're cared for and not neglected, they're very hard work!!!

onlyonmumnet · 22/12/2018 14:48

You're no friend.

Tobebythesea · 22/12/2018 14:51

I’m with Tiny on this one. Kids are hard work. I don’t envy her at all!

trojanpony · 22/12/2018 14:55

🤷‍♀️
She probably is a gold digger... so what?

23 with 3 kids sounds crap and I would never have wanted a life like that for myself.

After bills, food, childcare and everything else for 3 kids she isn’t exactly the life of Riley... and what situation will she be in 18 years from now...

PurpleTigerLove · 22/12/2018 15:00

She has questionable morals but maybe shes not very bright and this is her way of getting through life . I hope she has a back up plan as she’s going to be up shit street when the children are 18 and she can no longer cash in on child support .
I have no sympathy for the men either . What fools they are !
Three children by three fathers by 24 . Holy feck I live a sheltered life . It’s a recipe for disaster .

ParPitieh · 22/12/2018 15:00

How did the court get him to let her live in one of his houses?

Sorry to derail but could the court order my partner to support me and DD if we were to leave as he is owner to a few properties, with lots of investments and is also abusive so I only stay for a roof over our heads.

Butchyrestingface · 22/12/2018 15:01

If she’s gold digging, she needs to get a bigger shovel. Less than £600 pw to support yourself plus 3 kids, even allowing for the rent free accommodation, isn’t exactly Kardashian league.

That yatch in the Cote d’azur ain’t gonna buy itself.

areyoubeingserviced · 22/12/2018 15:01

Oh my God.
Are you seriously a friend ?
This is why I find it hard to trust people

areyoubeingserviced · 22/12/2018 15:02

Btw, If she went to court she could get more money. She’s not a very good gold digger .

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 22/12/2018 15:03

Courts can do whatever they see fit ParPitieh The CMS have limited powers though.

diddl · 22/12/2018 15:04

What happens when the child turns 18-do they both get kicked out?

ILoveMaxiBondi · 22/12/2018 15:04

Interesting use of the word “friend”. I’m not sure I recognise this description of the word.

Bluntness100 · 22/12/2018 15:08

Wow did you just call your "friend" a gold digger and spread her personal details on a website that has 16 million visitors?

What do you do to people you don't like?

KatharinaRosalie · 22/12/2018 15:11

There are significantly easier ways to earn 500 quid per week than to give birth to and raise 3 children. Who actually need some of that 500 spent on them as well. Not the best business plan.

HeffalumpsDaughter · 22/12/2018 15:12

£600 pw while having to look after 3 kids doesn’t exactly sound like a life of luxury. It’s obviously a lot better than a lot of people have it but not a lifestyle many would actively work towards achieving by the age of 23.

Bluelady · 22/12/2018 15:14

A touch of the green eyed monster here I suspect.

Swipe left for the next trending thread