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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thinking my friend is a goldigger?

177 replies

ArlaxA · 22/12/2018 14:31

She is 23 and has 2 children and she's pregnant with her third. She had her first at 18 by her ex, he has a normal job and earns a basic salary, I think he gives her around £50 a week in child support.

Second childs father is a professional sports player, they had a one night stand on two occasions and she became pregnant. He's very involved in their child's life and have a private arrangement whereby he gives her £320 a week in support. Their child is 2 and recently he was ordered by court to sell one of his rental properties and buy a family home for my friend and his child to live in until she turns 18. He's in the process of completing the sale and my friend will be moving in next year, completely rent free for the next 16 years whilst still getting £320 a week from him as the judge said she should live a similar lifestyle to her father when with her mother.

She's now 4 months pregnant by another sports player, they where together for about 6 months before she got pregnant. It wasn't planned and he wasn't happy about the news, she claims the pill failed. He is only 19 and already excelling in his career. Although he isn't happy he's vowed to play apart in the babies life when she is born. Friend and him have agreed to £200 a week child support when the child's born which will get higher as his salary increases.

So she will be living rent free in the house her second childs father has brought for her to live in, a 4 bedroom home. He knows she is pregnant and doesn't seem to care that 2 children from other men will be living in the home he is providing. She will be recieving £570 a week in child support and she claims child tax credits as she's not working (she doesn't claim any other benefits) she will be rent free too. All her children are dressed in designer clothing and she parades them on instagram and treats them like an accessory, she is proud that she has children fathered by footballers and brags about it.

OP posts:
Borisdaspide · 22/12/2018 16:11

The thing is she sounds like someone who will just waste the money spoiling her kids

God yeah she's gonna spend child support money on the kids. What a bitch.

Santasushi · 22/12/2018 16:12

Well done to her for completing a law degree with two small children.

BettyBitchface · 22/12/2018 16:12

All that on £600 a week.

Bollocks.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 22/12/2018 16:13

There's a difference between spending it on what children actually need and other shit just to keep a status going.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 22/12/2018 16:14

God, yeah, women right? Trapping men with their magic vaginas, FORCING them to impregnate them, denying them access to all outlets selling condoms and then having the cheek to expect the men to pay to support the resulting children. I never understood the phrase ‘The Poor Menz’, before but gosh I do now. FFS.

TwistedStitch · 22/12/2018 16:17

when the children are grown up and them men no longer have to provide for her, she'll have nothing and it'll be her own fault.

Except for the part where she has just completed a law degree and is also setting up her own business so she can be self sufficient.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 22/12/2018 16:19

*Check out child support top up orders.

If the income of the paying parent dramatically exceeds that of the receiving parent then they can make awards so they live as similar lifestyle as possible. This can mean providing a car, home and lump sum payments for decorating moving costs etc as well as school fees*

Goodness, how incredibly well informed you are, for just ‘a friend’. Shouldn’t you be getting ready for the Fathers for Justice Christmas party though?

ILoveMaxiBondi · 22/12/2018 16:20

when the children are grown up and them men no longer have to provide for her, she'll have nothing and it'll be her own fault.

She’s 23. By the time her youngest is 18 she’ll only be 41! Probably facing another 30-35 years at least of working before pension age. That’s still young enough to start and build a career if her business doesn’t take off although tbh she sounds like someone who achieves what she sets out to do so I expect her business will be a flying success.

Cherries101 · 22/12/2018 16:23

The support only lasts 18 years and as a floozy to the stars she probably only has another 2-3 years of shelf-life left. At some point she will have to knuckle down and work hard at life.

Ohyesiam · 22/12/2018 16:28

How would you prefer her to conduct her life?

insideoutsider · 22/12/2018 16:29

I've never really understood this popular MN statement but now I do:
'You sound jealous OP'. You really do.

She is making far wiser choices than the women who pick men that can't look after themselves, their kids, leave them with 100% childcare, child rearing, 100% 'house admin', no name on anything etc, and will provide 0% child maintenance when he leaves.

If more women chose more with their brains and rather with their 'feels', most won't be in the predicament they find themselves now.

Why does this bother you so much?

Pinkyyy · 22/12/2018 16:31

Don't know about a gold digger but I could call someone who has 3 kids by 3 different men, all in the space of 5 years to get a bit of money a few things

Grimbles · 22/12/2018 16:34

Like what @Pinkyyy do tell.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 22/12/2018 16:36

Oh really pinkky? Well don’t hold back, let us hear your words for such a woman.

Bluelady · 22/12/2018 16:38

Yes, come on, what would you call her?

Pinkyyy · 22/12/2018 16:38

I'll leave that to your imagination.

CripsSandwiches · 22/12/2018 16:39

God yeah she's gonna spend child support money on the kids. What a bitch.

To be fair if I was paying child support to an ex partner and they spent it all on designer clothes I'd be pretty annoyed. It should be spent on reasonable clothing and other things that will actually benefit them (or saved for their future).

That said I don't see how she's buying designer clothes, going to spa days and fancy lunches every day while also doing a law degree, looking after tiny kids, hanging out wherever she does to meet professional footballers all for £600 a week.

winsinbin · 22/12/2018 16:40

Pinkyy you could call her ‘a mum of three’?

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 22/12/2018 16:40

Less than £600 pw to support yourself plus 3 kids, even allowing for the rent free accommodation, isn’t exactly Kardashian league.

Lets not make out nearly 2.5k tax free, no rent a month at 23 is bad.

Pinkyyy · 22/12/2018 16:41

winsinbin If you wish.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 22/12/2018 16:42

I'll leave that to your imagination.

Chicken

Grimbles · 22/12/2018 16:42

Don't be shy pinkyyy

Pinkyyy · 22/12/2018 16:44

Oh I'm not shy, nor am I a chicken. I'm also not stupid enough to start using insults at your request just so you can report me.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 22/12/2018 16:44

So far we know she has had kids with two professional footballers, (you said sports but then footballers at the end) the ages of the kids, the fact that the mum has a law degree and another child, oh and has a shitty friend.
Pretty sure any two bit Daily Fail journo has enough to identify her.

Grimbles · 22/12/2018 16:47

Insults? Why would you use insults?

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