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AIBU?

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Original poster

Thinking my friend is a goldigger?

177 replies

ArlaxA · 22/12/2018 14:31

She is 23 and has 2 children and she's pregnant with her third. She had her first at 18 by her ex, he has a normal job and earns a basic salary, I think he gives her around £50 a week in child support.

Second childs father is a professional sports player, they had a one night stand on two occasions and she became pregnant. He's very involved in their child's life and have a private arrangement whereby he gives her £320 a week in support. Their child is 2 and recently he was ordered by court to sell one of his rental properties and buy a family home for my friend and his child to live in until she turns 18. He's in the process of completing the sale and my friend will be moving in next year, completely rent free for the next 16 years whilst still getting £320 a week from him as the judge said she should live a similar lifestyle to her father when with her mother.

She's now 4 months pregnant by another sports player, they where together for about 6 months before she got pregnant. It wasn't planned and he wasn't happy about the news, she claims the pill failed. He is only 19 and already excelling in his career. Although he isn't happy he's vowed to play apart in the babies life when she is born. Friend and him have agreed to £200 a week child support when the child's born which will get higher as his salary increases.

So she will be living rent free in the house her second childs father has brought for her to live in, a 4 bedroom home. He knows she is pregnant and doesn't seem to care that 2 children from other men will be living in the home he is providing. She will be recieving £570 a week in child support and she claims child tax credits as she's not working (she doesn't claim any other benefits) she will be rent free too. All her children are dressed in designer clothing and she parades them on instagram and treats them like an accessory, she is proud that she has children fathered by footballers and brags about it.

OP posts:
TemptressofWaikiki · 22/12/2018 18:27

Wow! Some friend!

PerfectPeony · 22/12/2018 18:29

Do you have kids OP?

To me, being a single Mum to 3 kids would be absolute hell.

I’m married, have one and an okay income but really struggle.

Instagram is not real life.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 22/12/2018 18:32

I don't really care if a woman is a "slut" "slag" or "slapped", maybe these names need reclaiming if all it means is a woman enjoys sex as often as possible and with many different people. So what, actually that sounds fine.
However this is having "targeted sex", with an end in sight, a child who could provide financial security for the mother. Surely it's meant to be the other way round? What child would want to eventually realise the reason their mother had them was to primarily become financially dependent on someone else and not have to work?

SinisterBumFacedCat · 22/12/2018 18:34

slapper not "slapped"

flameycakes · 22/12/2018 18:35

Why should anybody trust what the op is saying about this woman, total disloyalty to her friend doesn't say much about her x

flamingofridays · 22/12/2018 18:42

flamey you could say that about anyone.

Tbh i wouldnt want to be friends with someone who openly uses men and children for cash.

Arpafeelie · 22/12/2018 18:48

At 23 I had the law degree but no spa days, no partying with footballers and no kids. There is no way I could have gained my law degree whilst being a single mother to two children. Her time management skills must be phenomenal.

flameycakes · 22/12/2018 18:54

Flamingofridays, you'd trust the word of someone so untrustworthy that she put everything she knows of them online, she is supposed to be a friend, sounds more like a a very jealous enemy to me x

flameycakes · 22/12/2018 18:55

Sorry, new to mumsnet, not sure how to reply to people with there name x

flameycakes · 22/12/2018 18:55

Their!!!!

CryptoFascist · 22/12/2018 18:56

"She wants a good lifestyle"

Is she supposed to want a shit lifestyle then? I can't be arsed to have a problem with this, if she wants to be a single mum and live off maintenance she's chosen the right way to go about it. Why do you care?

flamingofridays · 22/12/2018 19:21

flamey judging someone on incredibly bad and selfish decisions doesn't make you untrustworthy.

Do you really think this situation is something to be jealous of? If i was even the slightest bit jealous of someone like this i would be questioning my own self respect.

flamingofridays · 22/12/2018 19:23

Also this woman apparently looks down on people on benefits even though she claims tax credits!

FlyingMonkeys · 22/12/2018 19:24

Well it's hardly 'gold digging' when she only shagged one of the footy players twice. It's amazing she got pregnant at all really vs 'Oooh she was out to trap him!' 🤔

flamingofridays · 22/12/2018 19:25

Why is it amazing she got pregnant at all? Its not exactly unheard of and it doesn't take a genius to work out what time of the month is best to conceive.

flameycakes · 22/12/2018 19:28

Op is pretending to be this woman's friend, hence she is a liar and a rat, not to be trusted x no self respecting friend would do that x

PortiaCastis · 22/12/2018 19:32

Hang on hang on how tf can we realistically say how many times someone shagged someone else because the only people who would know the truth about that are the shaggers themselves and not even the OP can know how many shags took place or when and where unless she was present at said shags

flameycakes · 22/12/2018 19:34

It is kind of amazing how much the op knows about her friends business and finances, has she been snooping through her private things x

Ourmaud · 22/12/2018 19:59

She’s bringing up 3 kids alone, ensuring they maintain relationships with their fathers while doing a law degree and running a home and she has nothing to be proud of?! I think op is a nasty piece of work and should take a look at herself before calling others. This thread reflects worse on the ops character than the mother of 3’s

extrastrongnosugar · 22/12/2018 20:29

Dunno, shitty life choices all around but you dont know what options she felt life held for her anyway.Id be very wary to judge.noone tries to eff up their life.
And I wouldnt mess with a mother trying to provide for her babies.

SushiMonster · 22/12/2018 20:33

She’s a gold digger but those men could have used protection.

Also it’s not a very sustainable career is it? 16 years and then you’re out on your arse and you’re too old to snare another.

HauntedPencil · 22/12/2018 20:41

This sounds like a pile of horseshit anyway.

Auntiepatricia · 22/12/2018 20:49

Rather her than me. It’s not a life I would want in the slightest but hopefully she is happy and the children are loved and well cared for.

JockTamsonsBairns · 22/12/2018 21:38

Raising three kids alone at 23 sounds incredibly hard work, so it wouldn't be for me. But, actually, I think this woman sounds quite driven, and probably quite likely to make a success of her business. I mean, starting a law degree as a teenage single parent, studying with a toddler and a baby - to me, that's massively inspirational. Has she graduated?

flamingofridays · 22/12/2018 21:58

Running a home she doesnt pay for. Shes not providing financially, their fathers are.

She'll be on her arse in 18 years. Wont seem like such a fantastic idea then im sure.