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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thinking my friend is a goldigger?

177 replies

ArlaxA · 22/12/2018 14:31

She is 23 and has 2 children and she's pregnant with her third. She had her first at 18 by her ex, he has a normal job and earns a basic salary, I think he gives her around £50 a week in child support.

Second childs father is a professional sports player, they had a one night stand on two occasions and she became pregnant. He's very involved in their child's life and have a private arrangement whereby he gives her £320 a week in support. Their child is 2 and recently he was ordered by court to sell one of his rental properties and buy a family home for my friend and his child to live in until she turns 18. He's in the process of completing the sale and my friend will be moving in next year, completely rent free for the next 16 years whilst still getting £320 a week from him as the judge said she should live a similar lifestyle to her father when with her mother.

She's now 4 months pregnant by another sports player, they where together for about 6 months before she got pregnant. It wasn't planned and he wasn't happy about the news, she claims the pill failed. He is only 19 and already excelling in his career. Although he isn't happy he's vowed to play apart in the babies life when she is born. Friend and him have agreed to £200 a week child support when the child's born which will get higher as his salary increases.

So she will be living rent free in the house her second childs father has brought for her to live in, a 4 bedroom home. He knows she is pregnant and doesn't seem to care that 2 children from other men will be living in the home he is providing. She will be recieving £570 a week in child support and she claims child tax credits as she's not working (she doesn't claim any other benefits) she will be rent free too. All her children are dressed in designer clothing and she parades them on instagram and treats them like an accessory, she is proud that she has children fathered by footballers and brags about it.

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 22/12/2018 17:32

I'm not retreating. My opinion is quite obvious.

Butchyrestingface · 22/12/2018 17:35

I'm not retreating. My opinion is quite obvious.

Wimpdom, thy name is Pinkyyy. 🙄

OlennasWimple · 22/12/2018 17:36

This is precisely none of your business, OP

user10001999 · 22/12/2018 17:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

flamingofridays · 22/12/2018 17:51

Whats to be jealous of? 3 kids to 3 different dads at 23 years old and living in a house that isn't hers that she'll eventually be kicked out of? Then what?

Pinkyyy · 22/12/2018 17:52

user10001999 Well said. I had absolutely no problem saying exactly what you said, but wasn't going to do so purely to satisfy the people on this thread. Anyone who wasn't thinking it clearly has very, very strange morals.

Bluelady · 22/12/2018 17:56

Clearly my morals are strange then. Slut means someone who doesn't like housework to me.

MrsTerryPratcett · 22/12/2018 17:58

we are all thinking it

No we aren't. I generally say what I think and I don't think that. Just because your mind contains nasty, misogynist, judgemental shit, doesn't mean we all think like that.

Personally I wish we lived in a world where more men took responsibility for their penises and single mothers weren't blamed for feckless men who can't use a condom.

Pinkyyy · 22/12/2018 17:59

Bluelady To most people it means someone who sleeps around

Santasushi · 22/12/2018 18:01

@user10001999 you have not said what everyone is thinking.

Why is she a slut?

SinisterBumFacedCat · 22/12/2018 18:03

Frankly they're all lucky they didn't catch something. All of them.

Parenthood is just that, not a profession for extracting cash for your lifestyle. I feel sorry for the children as I suspect they are a means to an end.

Butchyrestingface · 22/12/2018 18:04

Bluelady To most people it means someone who sleeps around

She's not sleeping around. If anything, she partakes of very targeted shagging.

Pinkyyy · 22/12/2018 18:04

Oh ffs you can't all seriously be trying to say that you think 3 children from 3 dads, pretty much one after the other, us something to be proud of.

Pinkyyy · 22/12/2018 18:06

Butchyrestingface because she got pregnant from 2 footballers? Who's to say they weren't 2 of many?

flamingofridays · 22/12/2018 18:07

Someone with three kids by three different men cannot blame the man every time. I mean seriously.

Bluelady · 22/12/2018 18:08

Your definition is very recent, Piggyy, mine is centuries old.

And I don't think this woman is any more reprehensible than any other.

Write · 22/12/2018 18:10

There’s a big difference between “something to be proud of” and a “slut”

Vile way to speak about someone you know nothing but what this jealous “friend” has to say.

Pinkyyy · 22/12/2018 18:10

Well given that I'm alive now, not centuries ago, yes I use the 'modern' meaning.

MrsTerryPratcett · 22/12/2018 18:12

Someone with three kids by three different men cannot blame the man every time. I mean seriously.

I'm saying blame no one. But if you're going to blame someone life really is too short as far as I'm concerned but if you need a hobby, blame both parties.

If the children are lived and cared for, I'm more bothered about the absolutely massive numbers of children who aren't.

MrsTerryPratcett · 22/12/2018 18:13

My mum calls me a slut. Fairly sure it's because I don't wear marigolds when I wash up. She's not that old. Slattern is also a great word.

Bluelady · 22/12/2018 18:15

I'm alive now too or at least I was last time I checked.

Butchyrestingface · 22/12/2018 18:17

Butchyrestingface because she got pregnant from 2 footballers? Who's to say they weren't 2 of many?

Who's to say there were?

If she is some kind of gold digger, why take the risk of getting preggers by an average worker bee?

64ChewsBrains · 22/12/2018 18:19

Wow this thread is absolutely roiling with woman-hating sneery bullshit from the 1970s.

user10001999 · 22/12/2018 18:19

But why does anyone care ? you don't know her this could be made up for all we know ( most of these threads are ) I said that to show you how your behaving . I don't actually think she's a slut I have friends who have children with more than 1 father it's modern life . None are gold diggers though . I'll leave you all to argue amongst yourselves I'm off out to speak to real people Grin

PortiaCastis · 22/12/2018 18:26

Yep 64 but I'd leave out the 1970s