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AIBU?

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Original poster

Now out of my mind with worry about drunk, now ex, 'D'H who stormed out at 3am.

165 replies

IcyVeins · 22/12/2018 10:42

I don't know what to do, or even if there is anything I can do. I'm feeling incredibly guilty, which is really pissing me off because that's how he should be feeling.

Long story short I caught my husband 'sexting' a relative, including photos and talks of a vid call.

He has form for this although like an idiot I accepted his excuse of stress the first time. He doesn't work, has seemingly been very happy and affectionate and this has completely blindsided me.

I found out at 3am this morning when a phone pinged in the bedroom. Dh was chatting on the computer upstairs but it was also coming through on the phone.

I confronted him, he got angry and stormed out with no thick coat or anything. He sent a few odd texts then radio silence from about 5am.

I'm concerned because he isn't at his DM's, with his Dsis or with the lovely lady on his messages (in Dh's extended family so DH's mum looked - yes eugh)

So now I'm sitting here worrying about a lying shitty bastard and it's annoying the hell out of me. Is there anything I can do to speed up finding out that he is physically ok so I can start moving on, or do I just wait to see when he pops up?

OP posts:
Lifeisabeach09 · 22/12/2018 12:05

Woman up, OP. Fuck knows why you are fretting over a prick like that. He is pathetic!
He will likely want to come crawling back. Don't let him even for 'kids sake.'

Dollymixture22 · 22/12/2018 12:11

Have you told his mum what is going on with her (neice??). He sounds like he is grooming a younger relative - albeit she is over the age of consent. I can’t beleive he is painting himself as the victim. What a cowdarly manipulative bastard!

Will be an interesting Christmas for him if the whole family find out about this! Of course he will gaslit them into this being you over reacting to simple family communications. Get copies of the texts

MotherofTerriers · 22/12/2018 12:23

Don't forget to screenshot/copy the messages in case he deletes and denies it all later

M00nUnit · 22/12/2018 12:23

NannyOgg, sock puppetry is when the OP pretends to be someone else, backing up her own OP. That's not what the OP was doing here at all.

Original poster
IcyVeins · 22/12/2018 12:25

Oh he is NOT getting back in.

I might have let myself get conned into being concerned but stuff that.

He certainly wasn't concerned about me or the dc last night.

OP posts:
ihatehoney · 22/12/2018 12:26

He's probs with the person he was sexting OP😂 I wouldn't worry about him, just pack the fuckers stuff up and leave it in the garage/shed.

Wordthe · 22/12/2018 12:29

Presume he is confident that his young lady will welcome him with open arms?

I suspect she will be mortified at the situation and wont want anything to do with him

Amaried · 22/12/2018 12:30

Think this Is a case of him trying to make you worry so much that when he eventually turns up you'll be so relieved that you'll forgive anything.. honestly I'd ignore him.

MadisonMontgomery · 22/12/2018 12:33

Pack his stuff up and dump it on her doorstep, tell her she’s welcome to him. And don’t worry - worst case scenario is that he has succumbed to hypothermia and died, which will save you the hassle & expense of a divorce.

theredjellybean · 22/12/2018 12:34

unless you live in far north scotland then the chance of dying from hypothermia is somewhat remote given the mild temperatures we are having.
what a manipulative and spineless twat of a man this is...

Original poster
IcyVeins · 22/12/2018 12:34

Apparently I'm veey thorough when I'm angry.

I have screenshots of the entire conversations and have sent/saved accordingly.

Except for the 'private' pictures of the woman which I have deleted iff both phone and computer. Because A) Ew and B) I'm not a dick.

He is now messaging again about wanting to die.

No fucks given.

OP posts:
DeRigueurMortis · 22/12/2018 12:36

Tell him to do it quietly then and stop bothering you.

Travisandthemonkey · 22/12/2018 12:38

God, wanting to die. What a cunt

AnyFucker · 22/12/2018 12:38

Him dying = natural selection

19lottie82 · 22/12/2018 12:39

He is now messaging again about wanting to die.

Ha ha what a fucking imbecile!

Rubytinsleslippers · 22/12/2018 12:40

Stay strong. He is trying to manipulate the situation. I'd change the locks and leave his stuff in a bin bag.

Wordthe · 22/12/2018 12:40

Can you contact the other woman tell her he's suicidal and suggest she goes to console him?

PurpleMountain · 22/12/2018 12:40

bahahahahahahaha!!!

Now out of my mind with worry about drunk, now ex, 'D'H who stormed out at 3am.
DeRigueurMortis · 22/12/2018 12:41

natural selection

Or an early Christmas present....

The world is hardly going to be a lesser place because a pervert chasing a young family member and cheating on his wife is no longer in it.

SaucyJack · 22/12/2018 12:42

Send him this. Appropriate and seasonal. What’s not to like?

Now out of my mind with worry about drunk, now ex, 'D'H who stormed out at 3am.
SurvivingCBeebies · 22/12/2018 12:43

Wow emotional manipulation level... 100%...

Bestwestpest · 22/12/2018 12:45

If he's threatening suicide, I'd call the police and let them deal with it. My friend's abusive ex once sent her a text telling her he was going to kill himself and told her it would be all her fault - he done it. NOT my friend's fault in any way but it hasn't been a rosy 10 years for her since.

Wordthe · 22/12/2018 12:49

Joking aside, if he might be serious this could turn very nasty do you think he might be serious OP?

HollyBollyBooBoo · 22/12/2018 12:50

Bloody hell Op, what a shit he is. You sound remarkably in control. I'd just stop contacting him, pack up his stuff and pop it outside the house/in his car.

Justaboy · 22/12/2018 12:50

Yeah, massive age difference as well between him and this girl, about 20 years

Humm , its a sort of madness, he's getting on a bit and thinks he's loosing his abilites and all that.

Could i suppose have gone and seen an escort but a young relly?.

Nah;! You can see why the legal profession are very busy in January, and thats where you ought be heading else it'll only happen again and again.

Does this young girls mum know whats going on?.

And it sometimes - makes me wonder whats going on in her mind too?