To not buy DD a new coat?

[LemonBeachTowel]

More of a WWYD then AIBU. DD is 13 years old and is fairly fashion conscious. Last week she and DH went coat shopping and she came back with a coat that coat a fairly extortionate amount of money.
Anyway DD wore the coat to school last Friday. And now hates it. Despite being the coat of her dreams the day before. Apparently other girls in her class made comments about the coat and now she can’t possibly wear it ever again.
DH has said she can have a new coat and this is were the problems lies. I think she needs to carry on with her expensive almost brand new coat. DH wants to buy her another new coat. I tried to compromise and said she can have a new cheap coat or we could return the old coat and buy a new coat with the refund. However DD wants the coat to wear at weekends and doesn’t want a cheaper coat for school. I’m bored of talking about it with her! WWYD?

Give her a monthly budget for clothes and she can make her own decisions.
Still buy uniform though.

How would you get a refundv on it if its been worn?

How can you return the coat for a refund if it’s already been worn ??

How much was coat?

Tricky. She did choose it. What a shame some spiteful kids ruined it for her.
I agree to give her clothes allowance.

What Woolduvet said.

I agree with you. She has a coat, and she likes it enough to wear it at weekends. The problem is not with the coat, but that she lacks the confidence to wear her own “style” in front of less pleasant peers.

FWIW neither of my big girls (Y7&9) will wear any sort of coat to school anyway.

Answering honestly this is what I'd do: I'd say, I understand it's horrible to be picked on and I'd buy her another bog standard coat (if it was my DS it would be from SuperDry because "everyone" has SuperDry).

That may sound unreasonable, but I was picked on at school for constantly wearing hand me down clothes and awful stuff (although my Mum tried - bless her). For this reason I would buy another unless you really can't afford it.

Christ just tell her it’s tough. She’s lucky enough to get the coat she wanted and she has to wear it.One of those life lessons you learn as a self absorbed teen and cringe about it she you grow up!

If the coat is still in great condition with absolutely no marks or anything and you have the receipt you may possibly be able to return it, but they may refuse.

No no no. Don’t buy her another coat.
If she is being bullied by other kids then the bullying is an issue which needs to be settled and the coat is only a symptom.
If she regrets buying the coat then this is a good life lesson to be learned which she can work through with your help.
The other kids may be jealous of her coat and her sense of style!

We've got to bring up our girls to be more confident than this - so sad that a couple of comments mean she won't wear something she loves. She needs to be her own person!

I'm aware that teenagers don't function like this .

Bog standard coat out of pocket money for me. But to me bog standard is one from Sainsbury's, not super dry!

I'm kind of with @BlueJava on this tbh, for the same reason. I was horribly picked on at school for having the 'wrong' clothes that were usually second hand. Yes, I should've stood up to the bullies and not cared but that is not the reality of being a teenager.

What kind of costs are we talking here? If you can afford it I'd maybe get her a mid range (cost wise) second coat. If she wants anything more expensive then she needs to contribute pocket money if she gets it. I wouldn't make her wear a coat that gets her picked on.

She selected the coat. She likes the coat. The problem is bullying at school not the coat. It’s likely whatever she does about the coat the bullying will follow (change the coat and she’ll be bullied for that too). Give her the confidence to wear the coat and ask the school to tackle the bullying

You could sell it on ebay or a similar site and she could use the proceeds to buy another coat if she really hates it now. She'd have to do without a coat for a while, or put up with a bog standard cheap one for the time being though.

The problem is your child being bullied not the coat x

“I was horribly picked on at school for having the 'wrong' clothes that were usually second hand”

Yes, so was I- but that’s not remotely relevant to the situation the OP’s daughter is in.

How are you planning to return a worn coat?

At 13 she is old enough to understand that money doesn’t grow on trees and as she chose the coat she needs to wear it.

I picked a coat I loved when I was 13. Other shoes commented on it even teachers and I regretted it. But I knew it was expensive and never ever dreamed of saying anything to myself parents who were as pleased as punch that they’d bought me the coat I wanted. Please don’t give in to bulllies and consumerism OP.

You can't take it back, she's worn it. If her dad's already said she can have another one, just let him buy it. Don't kids usually have a school coat and a weekend one too?

I would buy her another anyway so she has two so she can wear one when the other is in the wash.

She has only worn it the once so I was hoping to tell a white lie and say it was a Christmas present and return it . I’m happy to buy her another coat but only from next or somewhere cheap and cheerful.

Sell the coat on ebay, worn once. Should get a good price. Then new coat costing whatever it is the other one is sold for.

Kids are like sometimes. They learn.

send the coat back and get her to choose another one just say she can't have two. simple.

It isn’t like the coat is elaborate and “out there” and that’s what the problem was. I wanted to avoid saying this as obviously it’s a sensitive subject but the hood on her old new coat is real fur and that’s what one of her friends took issue with and that’s why she doesn’t want to wear it.