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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not buy DD a new coat?

262 replies

LemonBeachTowel · 20/12/2018 18:46

More of a WWYD then AIBU. DD is 13 years old and is fairly fashion conscious. Last week she and DH went coat shopping and she came back with a coat that coat a fairly extortionate amount of money.
Anyway DD wore the coat to school last Friday. And now hates it. Despite being the coat of her dreams the day before. Apparently other girls in her class made comments about the coat and now she can’t possibly wear it ever again.
DH has said she can have a new coat and this is were the problems lies. I think she needs to carry on with her expensive almost brand new coat. DH wants to buy her another new coat. I tried to compromise and said she can have a new cheap coat or we could return the old coat and buy a new coat with the refund. However DD wants the coat to wear at weekends and doesn’t want a cheaper coat for school. I’m bored of talking about it with her! WWYD?

OP posts:
starzig · 20/12/2018 21:31

How about getting her the new coat and docking some money off her pocket money for a set period (not to pay for it, but just to instill the value of money and all that)

Imalittleelf · 20/12/2018 21:49

I didn't know what a Canada goose jacket was... I think my chin hit the floor..... how much on a coat?????? For school????? I hope it does her exams for her and helps her shit gold for that amount of money!!

If I did that to my mum I would not be given a new coat, or would be give a cheap asda one (not that my mum would spend £500 o n a coat

SilverBirchTree · 20/12/2018 21:53

I was ready to believe they were bullies- but I'm with the peers at school- real fur is despicable and I'm glad she's felt an impact of her silly decision to buy a fur coat. Why did your DH allow her to buy fur?

Serves her right TBH. I hope she learns a lesson.

SpiritedLondon · 20/12/2018 21:55

Oh I think it’s bad enough that parents buy their children Michael Kors handbags to use as school bags but now I see that’s small fry in comparison to letting them wear Canada Goose coats to school. I think it’s obnoxious actually - not least because there will no doubt be children at your daughters school who come from less well off families for whom that money would represent a major chunk of their income. And than to top it off she buys a controversial brand ( that has regular protestors outside their shops) and then doesn’t even have the courage of her convictions and bottles it because she gets some snide comments. Shallow or what?

7salmonswimming · 20/12/2018 22:03

It doesn’t matter how rich the OP is, or whether £800 is a lot or a little to other posters.

£800 for a coat is an obscene amount of money for a 13yo - who hopefully, at this age, has no experience of having to work to buy food and shelter - to consider okay to spend on one garment that she will grow out of soon. To spend that and then feel okay with discarding it after one wear, is outright immoral in my view. 13 year olds know about homelessness, refugees, food banks.

Imo it was a parenting lapse to buy into the hype of Canada Goose, to dismiss the ethical considerations of the brand for the sake of fashion, to buy an inappropriate winter coat for the British climate, to spend that much on a child’s coat, and then consider letting her change her mind about it after one wear. All of these send the wrong message.

Good on whichever 13 year old girls are turning their backs on the brand. I’m not sanctimonious about anything in life, except respect for our environment and all who live in it. It’s downright evil for one group of humans to spoil it for everyone and everything else.

Heifer · 20/12/2018 22:04

Quite a few schools here have banned such expensive coats. DD is happy in her Superdry coat - in fact I'm so happy I bought it for her - as was more than I wanted to pay back in Yr7 but latested all of Yr7 to end of YR9. I then bought the same coat in next size half price in the sale for Yr10, happy days.

I'm not surprised she got stick for wearing real fur, am surprised your DH allowed it tbh. Not surprised that a 13yr old didn't realise the implications but surely your DH knows better.

PengAly · 20/12/2018 22:04

My chin hit the floor at the thought of spending that much on a teenagers coat and not even for a special birhday or christmas, just because she wanted it! Shock you really should start teaching her to be less bratty and not pander to everything she wants. Regarding the fur, yeah thats wrong and im not impressed with your family supporting the fur trade industry

ListenLinda · 20/12/2018 22:05

3/4 of my monthly wage on a coat! F*ck me.

Ragwort · 20/12/2018 22:11

This can’t be for real surely Shock?

Cheeeeislifenow · 20/12/2018 22:13

Holy shit that's expensive... I have just googled.
Surely your daughter would know the issues her peers might take with the fur?
I hope her friends educate her a bit to be honest... And yes she would wear the coat every day.

mysteryfairy · 20/12/2018 22:14

I think even with the fur trim off it’s going to attract comments at school that a 13 year old may struggle with. I’d also be vaguely concerned she could be mugged for it. Plus she may well be too hot on milder days! I’d pick up a coat from the high street sales (top shop, urban outfitters?) for school. The marginal extra cost is not going to be very noticeable in your overall coat expenditure.

blaaake · 20/12/2018 22:19

Why on earth would you spend that on a coat for your 13 year old who will grow out of it?! (FWIW I bought my 18 year old son a moncler for his birthday, but he has stopped growing)

MrMeSeeks · 20/12/2018 22:21

I can’t say i blame the kids for being against it.
I wouldn't be impressed with dd acting this way though after spending this much money, her dad absolutely should not let her keep it and buy her another!
Either sell it and buy a cheaper non fur coat, or make her wear it and let her go with her decisions.

3WildOnes · 20/12/2018 22:21

That’s a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a coat she will grow out of. I’m considering buying a Canada goose coat as I really feel the cold and spend hours every weekend watching my children play football and rugby but it will last me years.

MargotSimpson · 20/12/2018 22:21

Could this possibly be a ruse just so she gets another coat?!

happychange · 20/12/2018 22:56

Does it really get cold enough in the uk for a Canada goose coat??? Hmm

Mumshappy · 20/12/2018 23:04

This to me represents everything that is wrong with society and the entitled spoilt generation some parents are currently raising.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 20/12/2018 23:09

How much was it?

LiquoricePickle · 20/12/2018 23:10

Just for the record, it's not wolf fur, it's coyote.

Whilst plenty of people (myself included) still take issue with fur, it is important to mention that Canada goose do not buy from fur farms, only from law abiding trappers. The down is only sourced as a by product of the poultry trade.

Anyway, I would offer her a supermarket coat. I don't think you'll be able to return it, but as a second option you could sell it and she can choose a new coat with whatever you get for it.

3WildOnes · 20/12/2018 23:12

Happchange I haven’t yet found a coat warm enough to keep me feeling toasty whilst standing on the side of a rugby pitch for hours on end. I doubt a teenager spends enough time outside to need a Canada goose coat though!

Greenglassteacup · 20/12/2018 23:16
Shock
SaucyJack · 20/12/2018 23:21

It’s also important to mention that legal trapping is still horrifically cruel liquorice.

These are live animals with feelings- as are the cubs that are left behind.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 20/12/2018 23:28

Personally I'd show your DD the article that @SaucyJack posted and see if she still wants the coat.

PrettyLovely · 20/12/2018 23:33

Totally agree with @WhenISnappedAndFarted show your DD the article.
Glad that the kids at school had some sense to tell her it was wrong to wear a coat like that.

Poloshot · 20/12/2018 23:42

If she wants to wear fur why shouldn't she.