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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not buy DD a new coat?

262 replies

LemonBeachTowel · 20/12/2018 18:46

More of a WWYD then AIBU. DD is 13 years old and is fairly fashion conscious. Last week she and DH went coat shopping and she came back with a coat that coat a fairly extortionate amount of money.
Anyway DD wore the coat to school last Friday. And now hates it. Despite being the coat of her dreams the day before. Apparently other girls in her class made comments about the coat and now she can’t possibly wear it ever again.
DH has said she can have a new coat and this is were the problems lies. I think she needs to carry on with her expensive almost brand new coat. DH wants to buy her another new coat. I tried to compromise and said she can have a new cheap coat or we could return the old coat and buy a new coat with the refund. However DD wants the coat to wear at weekends and doesn’t want a cheaper coat for school. I’m bored of talking about it with her! WWYD?

OP posts:
MrsGrindah · 20/12/2018 20:05

Sorry but you’ve lost my sympathies now with real fur...

CrabbyPatty · 20/12/2018 20:08

"The hood on her old coat is real fur and that's what one of her friends took issue with...." doesn't sound like a bullying probably really.

CrabbyPatty · 20/12/2018 20:09

*problem not probably

Sexnotgender · 20/12/2018 20:09

Did you spend a ridiculous amount of money on a Canada goose jacket?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/12/2018 20:10

Is there any chance she will be getting money/vouchers for Christmas, that could be put towards a new coat? Especially if, as a previous poster suggests, she ebays the other one.

FlamingJuno · 20/12/2018 20:13

Can't you remove the fur trim? How do they know it's real fur?

MyKingdomForBrie · 20/12/2018 20:15

Jesus I'd have a problem with her wearing that let alone kids at school.

Buy her a cheap coat and educate her about the fur trade.

SaucyJack · 20/12/2018 20:15

Oh- that’s a disappointing drip feed. I was feeling sorry for your DD to start with.

I’m not really sure what the answer is. You’ve already paid to perpetuate the fur trade, so it’s a bit late to grow a conscience now for the animal involved.

What on earth possessed your husband to buy it?

Beeziekn33ze · 20/12/2018 20:18

Super Dry 'bog standard'? Next 'cheap and cheerful'?
Not for everyone! I'm sure Coats for Calais would be able to put your daughter's cast offs to good use.

CrabbyPatty · 20/12/2018 20:19

Its pretty obvious you're referring to Canada Goose which is known to have wolf fur trim. I can't help but think its a good thing that young people are aware of ethical issues rather than being drawn into the fashionable label. So perhaps its a lesson for you and your daughter (I know you didn't buy it, but your drip feed suggests that you're not really that concerned with the fur aspect). I'm unsure how to advise now....

CrabbyPatty · 20/12/2018 20:21

Oohh I like that idea - donate to Coats for Calais and then buy her a CHEAP replacement of her choosing. Think that's your best option.

woolduvet · 20/12/2018 20:21

Massive drip feed there...

MadisonMontgomery · 20/12/2018 20:24

If it’s Canada Goose the fur trim on mine comes off. Tbh I think the other kids are probably jealous, if she likes it encourage her to have the confidence to keep wearing it.

BlueJay1 · 20/12/2018 20:25

13 is a difficult age. You don't want her getting teased at school.
Maybe allow her to get a new coat. But just a plain, inexpensive but warm one. Let her know your disappointed, but as a one off will let this go.

titfortatty · 20/12/2018 20:25

You've said other school kids made comments about the coat- not bullying. If those comments were displeasure at the real fur and choosing to wear that- I'm with them.

Sadly, it sounds like your daughter only wants a new coat to appear to appease the school friends rather than having grown a conscience if she still wants it at weekends.

It seems your family have no problem with the fur trade

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 20/12/2018 20:25

@MadisonMontgomery why would they be jealous? I think it's far more likely that they don't agree that people should be wearing real fur, and I agree with them.

MadisonMontgomery · 20/12/2018 20:28

If it is Canada Goose they are hugely popular atm - not unbelievable that other kids might envy OP’s daughter for having one!

MrsGrindah · 20/12/2018 20:31

BlueJayCompletely disagree. Of course nobody wants their child to be bullied but she’s also needs to learn that sometimes there are consequences of controversial choices, the importance of money and the unpleasantness of the “ I want” attitude

MulderitsmeX · 20/12/2018 20:34

I can't get over a 13 year old having a coat that expensive!!

VladmirsPoutine · 20/12/2018 20:36

If it's Canada Goose make her literally sleep in the coat.

FixedIdeal · 20/12/2018 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

homeishere · 20/12/2018 20:39

Why not keep the expensive coat for use at home and weekends etc and buy a cheap and cheerful plain coat to wear to school?

homeishere · 20/12/2018 20:40

Real fur is perfectly acceptable too

MrsGrindah · 20/12/2018 20:41

Tell the wolf that!

MrsGrindah · 20/12/2018 20:42

OP you have gone quiet?