To dread baby pass the parcel over Xmas

[Itssosunnyout]

Aibu to be slightly anxious about the festive season and baby being passed about all the time having hardly any time in mine or DHs arms.

DH and I combined have a big family and everyone wants their turn to have a cuddle and stimulate baby but how do you manage it when you as a parent end up not getting much time with your baby or having to broach the 'i need my baby back feelings' 'baby is starting to get upset' or they don't understand her cues when she's had enough and just wants space.

Apart from my DP and my mum everyone else rarely see her due to distance or as previously posted due to not being able to leave their pet.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I understand everyone wants a cuddle but DC ends up so stimulated she refuses to sleep or feed. Im EBF and have been told that I need to keep baby close by.

I've only began to start worrying as we visited family last week and having spent 3 hours there I only held baby for 45 minutes and DH only 15 minutes. DC refused to sleep or feed and was so unsettled for the rest of the day.

I end up feeling so bad as others want DC but after a bit of time she starts her 'Ive had enough' or 'i want mummy/daddy cues' but family get offended or upset when i ask to have her back.

I get that, when relatives shake a rattle at a tired baby it's frustrating. Just ask them to rock or soothe her instead. Tell them she needs some chill out time and I'm sure they'll do it or pass her back.
I do get what you're saying but I think it's equally important for babies to be able to handle small routine changes. Some people I know had to be so strict with their routine that their little ones have missed out on lots because of it.

Tbh when my children were babies, I was grateful when family and friends held them so that I could have a break

No one has said they object to the break, or being able to drink a hot cup of tea or whatever. That’s lovely. I loved seeing people enjoy cuddling my newborn. What people object to is being returned an overstimulated fractious baby when that could have been avoided had the mother been listened to. Not all babies get like that, and that’s fine - but listen to the (NOT anxious, NOT clingy) mother

Hear,hear.

Exactly, HerSymphony.

Completely agree hersymphony

@FestiveNut oh no, sorry I wasn't saying the baby should sleep with somebody who is asleep. My husband kept accident doing that with our youngest and even our toddler was well trained to wake him up haha. I just meant you can really compare a newborn being happy to sleep on anyone and everyone to a 14 week baby who will be more aware of their surroundings.

I remember this feeling so well! I used to get really twitchy about it, my dc1 was the first grandchild on both sides and we couldn't pop in for a visit without the entire extended family turning up expecting baby cuddles. It was lovely but at the same time suffocating, I would get the baby back and immediately someone else would be holding their arms out waiting for him to be passed over.

I would use the breastfeeding to your advantage, mention frequently that baby is having a growth spurt and cluster feeding so you will need to take her back for a feed. If they are really getting on your nerves take her to another room to feed and put her down for a nap if needed.

I was always glad of the break too!

Tell them she's got diarhoeus contagium which is only spread through skin to skin contact so they should be prepared for a rocky few days if they hold her.