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Original poster

To be secretly fuming that I didn’t get my secret santa present?

169 replies

Secretstingyfuck · 19/12/2018 01:03

I took part in Secret Santa at work and spent lots of time and effort buying a thoughtful gift for my recipient.

Presents were given out at a Christmas lunch and mine wasn’t there. The only one. I am gutted inside, but I am putting on a brave face as the organiser has assured me that it is going to turn up. I don’t think it is and I think it was a mistake on the organiser’s part. The organiser has put my name and a request for my santa to do the decent thing on the staff notice board, so I face the fucking humiliation every time I go into work. Everyday I get people asking me if I have my present followed by ‘oh dear’ and ‘that’s not very nice...’ type comments. I am trying to be mature but inside I feel like shit.

I work in my children’s school, would I be within my rights to be completely childish and leave an empty box of celebrations in the staff room thanking the staff for their efforts this year? Just so I can take some pleasure in watching people open an empty box of chocs? Shall I leave my name on the board forever? Or, shall I just wipe my name off the board, pretend that I got my present and get over it?

OP posts:
Madfin2 · 19/12/2018 01:10

I understand you are disappointed particularly as you put a lot of effort into your gift however it's just a mix up and obviously not personal so I'd just take down the message on the board and move on. Even better treat yourself to something nice!

FlyingMonkeys · 19/12/2018 01:15

Has anyone left recently or been on the sick? They could have been the one to draw your name. Failing that maybe they forgot all about it and are too mortified to fess up now and produce a present. I'd wipe my name off the board and just gloss over it. It's crap but a £5 present isn't worth the awkwardness.

Procrastination4 · 19/12/2018 01:15

Perhaps the person who was your secret Santa is sick? This is going to happen at our workplace tomorrow-one colleague unexpectedly hospitalized with a serious condition requiring surgery. I doubt if getting her secret Santa gift in to work was a priority for anyone in her family. So, maybe your secret Santa was also not in a position to get the gift in? It’s not worth stressing over-try to laugh it off and maybe opt out if it next year. It’s a silly waste of time and money anyway, that really only benefits the retailer in the long run.

Original poster
Secretstingyfuck · 19/12/2018 01:35

Yes you are right, it isn’t worth making a fuss about, I will get over it i’m sure. I am not massively upset, It is just awkward seeing my name on the board BlushThere have been people off sick but they are all accounted for. Oh well, I am sure there is a lesson in there somewhere for me.

OP posts:
Orchardgreen · 19/12/2018 01:36

Get over it.

TheSerenDipitY · 19/12/2018 01:38

i sat at two staff secret santa gift givings.... i was forgotten two years in a row... i didnt join in after that

BrylcreamBeret · 19/12/2018 01:39

Op, I've had similar happen and it does tend to make the only person left out feel rather shit when the cheapskate non-santa should be feeling bad instead. Secret Santa is optional ffs I'm sorry you got fucked over. Buy yourself something seriously nice and never do SS again!

KitNCaboodle · 19/12/2018 01:39

We have secret Santa tomorrow. I was panicking as my predicted delivery date changed once I had placed the order. Maybe the same happened to you?

BrylcreamBeret · 19/12/2018 01:42

Hopefully this cheers you up, my former friends and I all chose to do secret Santa every year. The group voted for a £25ish amount for the recipients gift. My 'friend' turned up the roast dinner gift swap and handed me a broken bracelet and a picture of a cat. I shit you not. She charmingly put them inside a blue and white striped carrier bag (think - off licence) and told the rest of the group she couldn't be arsed to wrap.

lazyarse123 · 19/12/2018 01:44

Yanbu to feel a bit sad, it's mean thing to do. If people don't want to join in just say no.

Bunbunbunny · 19/12/2018 01:52

That’s why our PA knows all the secret Santa’s in our team, avoids anyone being missed out due to illness etc people can also opt out

I was missed one year & it’s shit, it’s probably one of the only gifts I get to open (DH & DF are useless!)

e1y1 · 19/12/2018 02:00

Sorry OP that sounds shit.

I've actually seen this where it has been intentional and not hidden - I was crushed for her. She was very brave faced and very gracious. The guy in question was an absolute twat, I'm not just saying that because of this instance either - he was, pulled the entire team morale down. So glad when he got the boot.

Cherries101 · 19/12/2018 02:01

This is the organiser’s fault. She should be organising the gifts in advance and have plans in place for this situation. At my workplace everyone adds a ‘deposit’ equal to the secret santa value to the pot — anyone who doesn’t pull their weight loses out & the organiser then sorts the gift out.

halfwitpicker · 19/12/2018 02:02

They need to count the presents beforehand to make sure everyone gets one.

Wtaf is wrong with people!

Not surprised you're annoyed op Flowers

ThatWouldBeNO · 19/12/2018 02:15

@Cherries101
That is a great idea!

🎄🍾🎁🍫💐 for you, OP.

Noteverythingisabingthing · 19/12/2018 03:02

We did secret santa a couple of times in my group of friends. We set a £20 limit. Out of the group, everyone bought thoughtful gifts apart from the person who just put £20 in an envelope for the other and one person who took their present and never gave one themselves! We didn't bother again after that year.

vinegarqueen · 19/12/2018 03:09

Ha 20 quid in an envelope might be preferable to some Secret Santa gifts.

Take your name down, OP, and treat yourself to something nice. The organizer should have kept track of who got who, so it is really their fault. Don't do the empty chocolates, though. You don't want to be that person.

Mayrhofen · 19/12/2018 03:43

This terrible, I can only imagine it must feel like either theft or that someone really doesn't like you.

I am sure it's not personal, I suspect you were unlucky enough to get "that person", the taker and not giver, the entitled one that eats all e buffet but never brings anything hoping it will go unnoticed.

Here's a secret Santa for you 🎁, enjoy Flowers

kateandme · 19/12/2018 03:49

this says everything on them on not on you hun.hold you head up that someone else is a twat and ur not.
go out and by something you like.

kateandme · 19/12/2018 03:53

could it be a possibility though that the person really couldn't even afford a £5 but couldn't admit to that to anyone?

snitzelvoncrumb · 19/12/2018 04:04

I would take my name down, but the idea of the empty chocolate Box is great. Write a funny note to go with it.

icklekid · 19/12/2018 04:14

Many times I've organised secret Santa and every time I've checked everyone had a present before giving them out. I've also had to mad dash to supermarket several times and wrap an extra present and pay for it but anyway because it's the worst feeling in the world to be missed out!

Bluebonnieblue · 19/12/2018 04:54

Definitely just a mix up. You'd have got something shit anyway!

Bluebonnieblue · 19/12/2018 04:54

(I mean because all secret santa presents are shit, again, nothing personal!)

SheilaBruce · 19/12/2018 04:58

Empty chocs Grin. Too bad it'd turn the tide against you though.

Rule 1 of Secret Santa is to have an organiser who knows every participant and their recipient. Then they can be named and shamed if required.

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