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AIBU?

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Original poster

Boss demanding me to tell them in pregnant

179 replies

Motherwell91 · 18/12/2018 23:57

Work in a high pased office enviorment. We have had a change of managment in the last few months. She was promoted from our sector and has gone.. as you could say power mad. Shortning and increasing targets... changing deadlines etc. And generally being rude and obnoxious to everyone. Ive kept quiet and just got on. (Like to go to work do my job go home) well this morning i recieve a text from her stating. ' i know your pregnant you need to stop keeping it a secret and confirm it. Im gobsmaked for one im not... but this seems such an unprofesinal manner to do things. Im yet to reply aibu to egnore it ? Wwyd? How would you reply should i reply.?

OP posts:
rachaelclaire1 · 21/12/2018 09:46

Sorry to hear this. You have done totally the right thing. HR is there for lots of things, employee well-being and relations included. Try not to enter into any further conversations with her, or colleagues about this now and I hope you get it sorted

Engorged · 21/12/2018 10:04

Update HR but you must tell your union. Pp above are both correct in that HR should have policies to follow but never think they are on your side as ultimately their loyalty is to the business and protecting it. Go to union for support.

buckeejit · 21/12/2018 10:17

Ugh. She does seem to have gone power mad. Try to put it out of your mind & if she texts again, block her number.

Make a note of what your colleague said & add dates just in case you need records

timeisnotaline · 21/12/2018 10:46

It’s bullying though and policies protect against it. It’s aggressive messages from a boss late at night and saying you’re pregnant is calling you fat if you’re not.

Rainbunny · 21/12/2018 10:56

I'm glad you reported it OP. I'm actually appalled by her behaviour for the following reasons:

  • emailing you out of work hours
  • the tone of her email was rude and unprofessional
  • the outrageous demand that an employee inform her of her physical
condition
  • The implication that you physically look pregnant meaning she is
making judgements about your physical appearance
  • What if you had been pregnant but had miscarried or there was some
problem with your pregnancy (I know you're not but she obviously didn't). What if you had some other health concern that resulted in you looking pregnant when you aren't (I used to have a colleague who physically looks about 5 months pregnant due to a health condition and she had to endure thoughtless comments). Imagine how upsetting that email would be to someone in that situation.
  • The fact that you now know that she has been discussing your physical status with another employee.

I would make sure that HR considers all of these points when they deal with her. This woman sounds seriously unprofessional.

luckylavender · 21/12/2018 11:07

Update HR OP. Please.

ralfeesmum · 21/12/2018 11:56

This member of the 'sisterhood' sounds like she's a poacher turned gamekeeper.

Power mad bitch!

CrabbityRabbit · 21/12/2018 12:02

Will your colleague be willing to pass om the messages?

Member984815 · 21/12/2018 12:59

.

Cheerbear23 · 21/12/2018 14:00

I bet she was drunk when she sent that message. It’s all very unprofessional.

flowergrrl77 · 21/12/2018 14:31

Definitely pass on what your friend has sent too!

xwhoiamx · 21/12/2018 14:52

I'm outraged on your behalf, op. She is mad as a box of frogs. What if you'd had a MC or trouble conceiving? Bloody awful. And more to the point, why is she sitting at work watching her employees and thinking about whether they might be PG in the first place? Never mind to admit it in a text! Bloody nosy cow.

EmeraldShamrock · 21/12/2018 14:57

What a cheeky cow. I would be livid.

Tistheseason17 · 21/12/2018 16:30

Wow - so unprofessional.
I lead a business and would never dream of doing this. It is poor and could be construed as harassment/bullying/discrimination.

Yulebealrite · 21/12/2018 16:33

Batshit!

DarlingNikita · 21/12/2018 16:53

She's harassing your friend as well as you. Your friend needs to contact whoever you contacted in HR and give them the message.

CountessOfNowhere · 21/12/2018 17:08

What odd behaviour.

justilou1 · 22/12/2018 07:56

It’s like she is so desperate to be proven right that she’s sinking herself further and further. What a loon.

YouCouldBeMe · 23/12/2018 15:26

Did you report to HR?

WitchDancer · 23/12/2018 21:50

If you read the thread you may find out YouCouldBeMe....

BumbleBeee69 · 28/12/2018 20:59

How are you OP. Any further outrageous texts or emails.

horsesheep · 30/12/2018 13:33

Update?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 30/12/2018 13:50

Really horsesheep On a Sunday, the day before New Year's Eve? So abruptly too!

Get a grip!

Didntwanttochangemyname · 30/12/2018 14:28

I'm shocked at your boss OP, glad you reported, I hope you also reported the update.

OVAgroundWOMBlingfree · 30/12/2018 14:41

Reading this for the first time and shocked.
Hope you had a nice Christmas OP and your return to work in the new year is stress free.

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