Boss demanding me to tell them in pregnant

[Motherwell91]

Work in a high pased office enviorment. We have had a change of managment in the last few months. She was promoted from our sector and has gone.. as you could say power mad. Shortning and increasing targets... changing deadlines etc. And generally being rude and obnoxious to everyone. Ive kept quiet and just got on. (Like to go to work do my job go home) well this morning i recieve a text from her stating. ' i know your pregnant you need to stop keeping it a secret and confirm it. Im gobsmaked for one im not... but this seems such an unprofesinal manner to do things. Im yet to reply aibu to egnore it ? Wwyd? How would you reply should i reply.?

As many others posted, send to HR and if in a Union consult with them. Way out of line and really unbelievable behaviour.

Get straight back in touch with whoever you reported it to with this update!

This woman is so far past inappropriate it's almost unbelievable!

PersianCat for now it will be because HR have to investigate and they can't have the case compromised.

But I agree with why not afterwards. I had to sack a team member once for assault and anti-semitism towards another staff member. Once it was finalised of course I wasn't able to say to anyone outside of the investigation why he was no longer in the company. It was frustrating when most people thought he was a great employee and had no idea he was capable of what he did. I'm sure it was management that were being criticised! (although eventually people did find out anyway, not sure by who though). But ultimately it doesn't matter what you do, you're still entitled to confidentiality.

This is awful OP, her behaviour is verging on insanity?!

She sounds really unwell. Definitely take that straight back to HR, she needs the (appropriate, professional) equivalent of a good kick up the twinkle.

HR is there for the BUSINESS. they are NOT there for you, or to stick up for you, or to help you.

They will enforce the policies of the company (maybe, if it fits with what the business wants).

They are there to help the business achieve its aims

I wouldn't really and would confront my boss face to face.

Can I reiterate again that HR is not there as an employee support service.

What the hell is she playing at!? I would definitely report her to hr, without a second thought.

Good luck op, hope your loon of a boss backs off

^meant as a general point to those who think HR is there to have your back. 9 times out of 10 no

I would contact your union. Surely this is harassment?

Firstly, how awful that you have received such a text message. The other posters are absolutely correct - save the message, copy it to HR and your union - go senior on that too btw - and let them deal with it. Not ok on any level and against uk employment law. Smacks of workplace bullying. I had a litigative situation many years ago with a previous employer (I was pregnant) and I won. Most worrying though is how she has made you feel. Losing baby weight is challenging especially when you’re exhausted - a working mum with an 18 month old. I’ll bet you’re doing just fine. Be kind to yourself. As far as exercise is concerned - Walk, walk, walk and then walk some more!! Easiest, cheapest, little one gets fresh air. I found that I lost my baby weight when I wasn’t obsessing about it if that makes sense. But first - let HR deal with the madam at work. Make it clear to HR that it is not ok and that you have kept a copy for external use of necessary - this will force them into taking action.

Does she see you as a threat and thinks if she bullys you you will leave.

Did you tell HR about her involving your friend?
Make sure you are keeping a note of everything.

Sorry but TwoLads is incorrect. There will (or should be) a grievance policy in your company. You should be aware of this and should have unreatricted access to it. 9 times out of 10 HR will be responsible for ensuring that all employees have access to this. The most important thing is that you keep a trail of who report this to - dated - what you say etc. If you need external help - contact your union or a external employment legal service. ACAS will also provide free advice and support.

Sorry - it very early I’m just working my way through all the updates and messages. So her behaviour has escalated?! This is actually a good thing - will make your case more compelling. Not acceptable i must add but a good thing insofar has her inevitable downfall. The most important thing is to stay as calm as possible - this will ensure that it is her behaviour and actions that are solely under the spotlight and not yours.

Pretty sure that's moving into harrassment territory

Wow! Worth calling ACAS for advice

OP. now that you have reported your manager to HR a formal grievance procedure will commence. Therefore, you need to think about whether you should continue to post further updates on mumsnet as your post may contain information your employer recognises. This could then lead to other threads you have posted on being looked at.

Also, this is precisely the type of thread that could appear in the DM or other media.

equality act legislation covers discrimination based on a perception that you have a protected characteristic even if you don't. so eg if a homophobe thinks you are gay and discriminates against you because of that, you are protected even if you are actually heterosexual. same applies here - she is treating you badly (disturbing your non-work hours) because she believes you are pg. the behavior would be inappropriate if you were pg and is doubly so given you aren't, but yes this is discrimination.

Thank you @ Coppermine, I am really worried about my friend as she seems to be getting really depressed. I shall tell her that keeping quiet is standard practice as I think it will make her feel less victimised.

You absolutely need to update your HR contact with this information and have them speak to the colleague psycho boss interrogated.

This will get really nasty if you don't. She sounds positively unhinged.

Was this woman an interfering, officious tit before her promotion? Sounds like power has gone to her head like cheap drink (to quote the dowager!).

Why on earth does she think it is acceptable to now embark on asking other people about whether you are pregnant or not? Doesn’t she have enough to to? She sounds obsessed!! Glad you have gone to HR and, sorry if I have missed this info but do you have a union? Best tell them too.

She's potentially falling foul of the Equality Act which is a big risk for your organisation. Update HR.

She sound like an unhinged manager and someone who really wasn’t ready for the role.

And discussing a medical issue she thinks is relevant to you with other stuff? That’s really out of order!

Good luck with the grievance.

Hr and dont respond to her.

HR and your union need copies of that! Terrible.

@PeaQiwiComHequo

No it isn’t discrimination (not on pregnancy grounds anyway). As mentioned up thread, perception discrimination does not apply to pregnancy and maternity.