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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boss demanding me to tell them in pregnant

179 replies

Motherwell91 · 18/12/2018 23:57

Work in a high pased office enviorment. We have had a change of managment in the last few months. She was promoted from our sector and has gone.. as you could say power mad. Shortning and increasing targets... changing deadlines etc. And generally being rude and obnoxious to everyone. Ive kept quiet and just got on. (Like to go to work do my job go home) well this morning i recieve a text from her stating. ' i know your pregnant you need to stop keeping it a secret and confirm it. Im gobsmaked for one im not... but this seems such an unprofesinal manner to do things. Im yet to reply aibu to egnore it ? Wwyd? How would you reply should i reply.?

OP posts:
BarbaraRoyale · 19/12/2018 10:53

I would just pass it on to HR and let them deal with it
it would have upset me too

kalefire · 19/12/2018 11:02

Cancel the cheque!

kaytee87 · 19/12/2018 11:04

@Fannybaws52 protected characteristics are protected- eg sex discrimination. Boss wouldn't have sent that message to a man

GemmeFatale · 19/12/2018 11:09

Disability discrimination covers if you aren’t disabled but someone believes you are. I suspect pregnancy discrimination would work in much the same way.

kaytee87 · 19/12/2018 11:26

@GemmeFatale yep, it would.

HopeHopity · 19/12/2018 11:31

Please report to HR
She will end up managing other people and this would destroy me as I have severe anxiety
She sounds awful and mad

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/12/2018 11:49

I would report it to HR too - with a note telling them that I consider this to be work-place bullying.

Ninabean17 · 19/12/2018 12:29

Send it straight to HR. Even if you were pregnant, it's absolutely no one else's business until you deem it to be. She sounds incredibly rude.

Mia1415 · 19/12/2018 12:35

You have no protection under 2 years. If over 2 years, take it to HR. Texts like that sent so late are harassment.

Yes you do against discrimination which this is! It would be considered as sex discrimination and maternity discrimination. It doesn't matter if you are pregnant or not, she is discriminating based on the perception that you are which is covered in the Act.

I'm an HR Manager and I would say to definitely escalate this to HR. It is not acceptable behaviour.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 19/12/2018 12:40

What an absolute twonk.

I hope your HR have a good poker face, they must think "WTF?" a lot, but, this is so bad it's brilliant.

Hope you are ok

AintNobodyHereButUsReindeer · 19/12/2018 12:44

Shock Shocking behaviour on her part. Another vote for HR!

HopeHopity · 19/12/2018 12:51

The HR person that gets your email is going to be 😳🤦🏻‍♀️
She is shocking your boss

Willow2017 · 19/12/2018 13:22

Good god do not say "i think you sent this ny mistake."

She didnt.
She is harrassuing and bullying.
She needs pulling up and told how to act as a manager.
If she is pissing everyone off its time hr knew about her.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 19/12/2018 13:27

Log it with HR please please please please - she sounds unhinged and she’s bang out of order.

Don’t forget HR can be notified of something without your requesting them to act. X

FilthyforFirth · 19/12/2018 15:17

What did you decide to do OP? I hope you reported to HR.

Surprised at the number of people saying to ignore/do nothing. It is so unprofessional, I am lost for words!

VanGoghsDog · 19/12/2018 19:20

HR don't keeps 'logs', you either raise a complaint you want followed up or you don't.

Monkeynuts18 · 19/12/2018 19:23

You need to complain. It’s clearly sex discrimination - she wouldn’t have said it to a man. It’s also wildly inappropriate.

StripeyDeckchair · 19/12/2018 19:32

It's illegal to ask women about their plans to have children as it is discriminatory.
Her action is definitely harassment and could be seen as constructive dismissal if it happened again, particularly with her behaviour.

Contact your union, contact HR, do not let her think that this is acceptable.

TheRealJoseph · 19/12/2018 22:35

Was the call from a company phone or was it a personal phone.?

Original poster
Motherwell91 · 19/12/2018 23:35

Ive been there 5 years. Wsbt in to work today She was conviently not in today..... spoke to a friend in hr to see if this is worth me gping through with. Is it true what pp said about it goes on a record and can come across negitivly ?

OP posts:
puzzledlady · 19/12/2018 23:39

Negatively for her yes. Not for you. If you jet her get away with this, she’ll know she can bully you.

incywincybitofa · 19/12/2018 23:40

No it cant be used negatively.
I think if you can call ACAS in the morning they will explain it all to you clearly and kindly.

Jamiefraserskilt · 20/12/2018 00:31

See that line there? She has stepped over it. You have every right to be offended.
Definitely one for HR.
Inappropriate content
Comment indicates targeting (more than one message)
Sent on your day off and very late at night.
Ask them to look into this and to have a word about her behaviour and the law around this. Don't just leave them to guess what you want, tell them.
If her behaviour is increasingly poor, hopefully this will be one of many complaints
If she sent when drunk, that is no excuse and actually even worse.

CanSurvive · 20/12/2018 00:35

Of course you report it. She’s not in as she’s coming up with a plan. Talk to your union

FilthyforFirth · 20/12/2018 10:50

Is she in today OP? What did your friend from HR say? I still say report!

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