Boss demanding me to tell them in pregnant

[Motherwell91]

Work in a high pased office enviorment. We have had a change of managment in the last few months. She was promoted from our sector and has gone.. as you could say power mad. Shortning and increasing targets... changing deadlines etc. And generally being rude and obnoxious to everyone. Ive kept quiet and just got on. (Like to go to work do my job go home) well this morning i recieve a text from her stating. ' i know your pregnant you need to stop keeping it a secret and confirm it. Im gobsmaked for one im not... but this seems such an unprofesinal manner to do things. Im yet to reply aibu to egnore it ? Wwyd? How would you reply should i reply.?

She tried to fuck you over OP.... you need to log this ASAP

Right all reported. Been advised not mention it to her or other staff. We break up tomorrow so i dont expect to see results till the new year.

It seemed to be taken seriously so hopefully at the least re-training nd a lesson well learned for her.

Well done OP. Hopwfully this'll make her think twice in future!

Very quickly... this is harassment/discrimination of a person with a perceived protected characteristic (you don't have to be pregnant - she only has to act as though she believes you are - perception).

Best thing to do is file a grievance on the grounds of harassment and discrimination based on the above.

She sounds as if she's either cracking up, or power has gone to her head. You did right to report the message.
Back to the old days - a colleague of mine used to work in a big all female typing pool. If anyone became pregnant they had to go and work in a separate room. It might be 'catching' .

Well done for logging it at work. It may feel uncomfortable but now she knows not to dick you around. If she's stupid enough to confront you about it after Xmas she's just proving herself not suitable for management.

Tell us what happens please.... we have all worked for someone like at some point..

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Well done for reporting it

Well done for reporting OP, she sounds bat shit!

Just to clarify though - what other posters have said about perception discrimination - this doesn’t apply to pregnancy and maternity discrimination.

To be protected under the Equality Act on pregnancy grounds, a) you have to actually be pregnant and b) your employer must know or suspect that to be so. It could still be harassment relating to sex though.

Probably not relevant to you with five years service but I wouldn’t want you mentioning this to your employer as it isn’t legally correct!

When I was a teenager, I once said "when's it due?" to a lady who I knew who lived near us and I was so ashamed when she asked me "when it what due?"

I am 39 years old and I still remember just how embarrassed and cross I was at my own big mouth.

For somebody to be treated like you have in a workplace environment is fucking appalling and is absolutely disgusting.

Even more so, for all she knew you could have been desperately trying to conceive without success or even worse.

You need to keep the email and make a formal complaint about this behaviour.

Genuine question - in what way is it “discriminatory”? No suggestion OP has been passed over for promotion or similar......?

I agree with the others.. email HR with a copy of the message and simply say "I've received the attached text message from my manager telling me she knows I'm pregnant and demanding I inform her officially; I find this to be a highly innapropriate form of communication, particularly as I am not pregnant and I'm unclear how to respond.

Please advise.

If you're not brave enough to go to HR, respond to her via work email saying the above and that she is incorrect and has overstepped her mark.

She clearly thinks she can get away with this behaviour so you need to make it clear she's wrong.

I also agree she sounds like a bloody maniac, time to jazz up your CV and start looking for another post.

Been advised not mention it to her or other staff
It really pisses me off that when one person at work does something to somebody else and the wronged party is told to keep silent on the issue.

A friend of mine had a complaint made about her at work and strictly speaking it was my friend's fault because she asked about how the strict safeguarding policy worked in the context of certain people.

Anyway I told my friend to just put it down to experience and accept that she should have not said anything about it.

A few weeks later the complainant started complaining that my friend isn't being nice to her and won't speak to her except to answer in one or two words.

The complainant is now going round telling all and sundry that my friend is so horrible, unfriendly and a downright awful person.

Even though my friend has a small group of friends at work, she has been told not to say a single thing about the situation as it may further upset the complainant. To be honest I think that this is totally wrong as my friend is clearly suffering and being prevented from accessing the support of her friends.

(Sorry Motherwell91, I didn't mean to hijack your thread)

Well done OP

Well done for reporting it OP, even if she is a “mate” boss then she still has to be mindful of professional conduct and this isn’t it. Even if you were pregnant you don’t legally have to tell you’re employer until you’re 35 weeks pregnant. Hopefully HR can just correct her behaviour a bit and remind her that it isn’t appropriate to demand private information about employees.

Let us know how it pans out in the new year . Many of us have bully bosses so it would be helpful to see what occurs .

You need to keep all these messages and report her to HR immediately. If they’re any good they’ll invoke the Grievance Procedure without delay. This is disgusting behaviour and would be classed as bullying/harassment.

Wow! That message is incredible from her. Straight to HR. Don't reply, don't talk to her about it. I really hope your HR team support you properly. Don't let her make you feel bad I am sure you are doing wonderfully.

Sorry, didn’t RTET. Glad you reported it and it will be taken seriously. Spent many years working in employment law and liaising with HR for hundreds of companies. Like I said it could be classed as bullying and they really don’t like having employees opening the company up to ET claims. Good luck 😉

I'm glad you reported it. That's awful!

I returned from Mat leave 13 months after my son was born. In the lift, first day back got asked when I was due. Mortified. Your boss sounds like a loon who’s crossed some boundaries and is now trying to back track with her second message. X

Sackable. Regardless of whetger you are or not. Don’t reply. Go to HR.

Hope everything gets resolved Op but it definitely was right to report it and get it documented as you have no idea what could happen in the future.

So its escalated... i had a friend from work message me asking why she asked her today if i was pregnant. She told her she didnt know... my friend said she was going to brush it off until she said "i messaged her about it and she hasnt replied..." what is this womans problem..