to feel offended by presents I've just received

[thisisnothow]

I know I will be told I am ungrateful but quite frankly I wish they'd not even bothered. Just received a parcel from SIL damaged in the post. Due to damaged packaging I can see the gifts she has sent for us (DH, DC and me). I don't want to be too outing but she has obviously bought a load of cheap seconds (old and defected stuff) and given us that - no regard for whether it is a suitable gift or not. It is stuff I would not even consider re gifting. I feel so hurt and offended. Worse still, she sent me a list of what she and her family wanted which was way more than what we normally spend. She is not remotely short of money. I am lost for words and have no idea what I will say to her about the gifts when I see her.

Phone her up / email her and say that the parcel arrived damaged and you think something must have fallen out as all there is are some second hand broken items and would she like to contact the post office to claim for the missing items?

I would keep the whole parcel, wrapping and tags and all. Send it to her next year in plenty of time for Christmas. Don't change the names on the tags or anything.

Lucie they are very cute

sendacowgifts.org/gifts/animals

Oh yes, definitely give them back to her next year, (after sending your list of expensive presents to her). Then you'll be even, and can stop exchanging gifts.

Whilst that does sound crap, you overspending is entirely your own responsibility. Don’t be such a mug.

I am feeling more annoyed as I think about it! These presents are clearly factory seconds/very old stock. I just can't believe that she thinks I won't realise. This has done nothing for family harmony.

ilovecherries, I see your tan tights and raise you a pair of fishnet stockings from a fucking awful most peculiar in-law. This was after asking DH if I was "an escort", (I'm not).

Give them back to her.
Say that they’re really not the sort of thing you’d ever use, anc you’ve become so aware of waste this year that you hate the thought of them sitting unused.
Reject the gift, and make it her problem to dispose of them.

Spam, obviously wishing thinking on the part of said reli

Play all innocent and send them back to her saying they are damaged.

We had this a few years ago. I spent ages choosing nice presents for the in-laws and received a box of toiletries with a bashed box and the seals peeled off the bottles. Even DH was shocked!
Now I make something nice for the children (token present) and give them a box of something. We have made it clear we don't need presents. I'd prefer a goat!

Did you sign for the package OP?

If not send your wish list now and say you can't wait to receive your package, then sent all knowledge of the other one even arriving. 😂😂😂

And next year...no gifts tenner in a card each for the kids.

*deny not sent

Are you sure she hasn't just used old boxes to house other gifts?

Genuinely curious as to how you can tell they are seconds/old stock? Do they have dates on?

It was a bundle of new, bog-standard, black biros wrapped in a tissue and tied up in an attractive ribbon. I was 17, or 18.

See, I know it's a weird gift, but it's also incredibly useful. You need black biros for every paper form you have to fill in. And at that age you're also likely to be studying. If not studying, then starting a new job that requires you to not things down. Think how often you're scrabbling around trying to find a pen. So on the surface it seems odd but at least you got some use out of them so I don't think it's a bad gift for someone you might not know very well.

When l was married to my ex husband his brother and his wife gave us an Animal Rescue annual for Christmas. We were both in our 30s.
Later on when they had the little one we said we'd just buy for her for Christmas and birthdays so we could get her something decent. Resulting in us getting nothing despite spending about £30 each time (30 years ago!). SIL said we'd "reap the rewards when we had kids" knowing it wasn't going to happen. Quite frankly l didn't care about presents for us, they could have bought a couple of cheap dog treats for your dogs for less than a quid each. We even bought treats for their dogs, got nothing in return. lt was beyond mean and nasty.

Genuinely curious as to how you can tell they are seconds/old stock? Do they have dates on?

This is what I was wondering too. Also, the package must have been pretty badly damaged (way beyond normal damage) for you to come to this conclusion.

agree on a budget just say sorry i can spend more 4than x amount on each of you

or just buy for kids

My BIl and SIL were the same. Every year we'd buy something nice for their daughter (the oldest grandchild) but when we had kids they'd give them crap - not the other nieces and nephews tho', they got nice gifts. My husband shrugged it off and didn't want to rock the boat. The final straw came when my daughter was 8, the other nieces (all close in age) were playing with their new Barbies and fancy accessories whilst my daughter unwrapped a women's floor length, sleeveless purple velvet dress with a plunging neckline - obviously re-gifted from their much older daughter. After that they were struck off my gift list permantly

Ive had this with bil and dn

In previous years weve had lists with big ticket item requests or multiple expensive toys and my dd has recieved i complete toys or tat in return

So now i dont ask for requests and buy what i think dn would like within our chosen budget.... Makes for a better arrangement

Friend once had a box of After Eights from her MIL. Half of the little envelopes were empty.

Weathermonger did they explain that bizarre choice of gift? did you verbally rip them a new one ?

I'd return them to her now and say they are not suitable and damaged etc. Next year just say your not bothering with presents etc early on.

You win that round, Spam :)