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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - not spending dds first christmas with her?

382 replies

BlondeAmbition44 · 16/12/2018 20:19

DD was born 8 weeks ago and its her first christmas Xmas Grin I am really excited and am really looking forward to it. DP on the other hand keeps saying he doesnt understand why its such a big thing as she wont remember it...

now heres where i might be being unreasonable, both sets of parents have offered to have us on christmas day, my parents can only have everyone on christmas day as db is working boxing day, however dp "dm" is insisting he is at their house christmas eve, christmas day and boxing day...

He has agreed it is best for me and dd to go to my parents on christmas day so he will leave us up to stay on christmas eve and he will lift her in the morninh for boxing day at his parents... am i being unreasonable to think he should want to spend some time with dd on christmas day and not just to drop us off on xmas eve and back to lift her on boxing day, and am i being unreasonable to think his "dm" shouldnt be insisting on all 3 days with him?

OP posts:
IPromiseIWontBeNaughty · 22/12/2018 07:43

I wouldn’t be going not even for an hour.

Yulebealrite · 22/12/2018 08:01

Don't made make an excuse to leave that exonerates her. Say it like it is, or don't say anything, but don't let her come out of it looking like the good guy who only gets to see the baby for a measly hour. You don't want her making you appear to be the bad guy.

Fightthebear · 22/12/2018 09:01

You’ve done really well to stand your ground here op.

But I think you need to accept that your MIL doesn’t like you and has chosen to actively exclude you over Christmas (while trying to get to see your tiny dd without you).

Honestly, I would do what feels right for you on Boxing Day, you need to stand up for your and your dd’s best interests. Your MIL has shown she will trample all over them and your dp won’t stand up to her Sad

Hohocabbage · 22/12/2018 12:29

I honestly couldn’t be doing with this. I mean I would want to have it out with her, and let her know that it isn’t acceptable to invite your husband and child for a meal and her dil. Really it should be her son saying this but I gather he won’t.

Hohocabbage · 22/12/2018 12:30

Sorry just reread OP and see you aren’t married - is this a part of the issue?

Teateaandmoretea · 22/12/2018 13:17

No 8 week old baby will be happy and content without their mum for a whole day. Doesn’t matter how good a dad he is.

I actually think this is bollocks ^^. DH was perfectly capable of looking after our babies right from the start and they were as happy with him as with me. It feels like guilting new mums to me....

But tbh it's not the point - regardless of this you can't just remove a baby from its mum at that age if she isn't happy with it (which is perfectly reasonable...!)

OP I'd keep your baby with you and tell him if he goes then he can stay there with his darling mammy. I cannot get my head around 1. That he is doing what he is told without question; 2. That you aren't invited (and he seems to think this is reasonable); 3. That they think they can just take your baby away from you without giving you the choice.

TeeniefaeTroon · 26/12/2018 23:23

Hope it went ok today x

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