Neighbour has ignored us for over a year

[Mk1234]

We moved in a year ago, next door to us are a couple with 2 girls. Few weeks after moving i went over with some some chocolates and said hi and general chat outside door step with the man, i even said tell your other half to pop over for a cuppa it would be lovely to meet her. The man has always been polite to us and will acknowledge us however the woman has not once said hi, there have been times when she is in the house and ive gone to drop off their parcel and she has not opened the door instead shes waited for her husband to come home to collect it.
From what i can tell there are no language barriers or health issues from what i can tell. Im not too bothered by it in all honesty as ive got far to much going on in my own life but just out of curiosity im baffaled as to why she is ignoring us.

@Tatiania
Fucking easier said then done!! Have you actually suffered/ experienced PTSD??!! I actually mean SUFFERED? Or have you had a tad stress in your Life? A major difference!!

The strange thing is a van was seen at the house yesterday and it looks like they have moved out. I have tried messaging the owner of the house to find out what's going on but he hasn't replied. I find it odd that they didn't tell us they were moving

So you expected someone who has persistently ignored you to tell you they were moving house? Why? And then you messaged the landlord? He must think you are off your trolley.

My parents are chronically shy. Their behaviour could come over in the same way. You don't know what is going on in people's lives.

I have a neighbour like this . I have learnt not to take it personally although, objectively, I still think it is rude.

She may have an array of conditions or set of circumstances to excuse this behaviour but you're allowed to make of it what you will as she would if the boot were on the other foot.

I really don't find anything wrong with ypur introducing yourself and offering a cuppa. Ii was a perfectly, normal, friendly gesture and have done this and likewise accepted when offered without finding myself locked into a Single White Female Style friendship. C'mon, it's just coffee!

You can, it’s a slog

Funny, my fully trained, highly specialised NHS therapist says quite the opposite. What qualifications do you have?

Our last neighbours were just like you, but it never went further than that. I'd have loved to get to know them, but whenever the came to pick a parcel up or anything else it was always when I was slobbing in my pyjamas, or hadn't washed my hair and the house looked a tip, and it just made me want to avoid them. I also worried that if I went to to theirs that I would have to invite them back, and our house needs so much doing to it and I find it pretty embarassing tbh. When we got new neighbours last year I made for more of an effort because I always regretted it, and we are getting on well!

Not totally ignored as lady has spoken to my husband and I have spoken to the gentleman. Landlord used to live nextdoor and is a friend so I know he won't think I am off my 'trolley', thank you.

House connected to mine is rented. Have had some good relationships with some, latest is weird. Other side insisting on a mince pie Xmas thing. Prefer the neighbours that don’t speak!

OMG. Mumsnet is just so wierd and the only place where a lack of general social interaction skills is somehow ok rather than being actually bloody rude. Many of you all spend far too much time on your computers dears.

I'm not a sociable person. I do say hello etc but I don't like forward people and I think you'd be too forward for me.

It's not neighbours the show. As long as they aren't rude, loud, criminals etc then just let it go?

@WhyDontYouComeOnOver you're back! I thought you were going!

You know after calling me a cunt and a disablist knob jockey!

As for calling me disablist, that's just ridiculous, if I advised a physically disabled person to use crutches that would be ok? I advise someone with PRSD who finds a door knock a trigger to get a box for parcels and I'm disablist!

You've got an issue be it mental health or physical health but you won't get a simple solution because you can't afford it and don't want to anyway! You just don't want to deal with your issue in a sensible way!

What qualifications do you have?

My qualifications are that I had PTSD and recovered. Even now I occasionally get flashbacks.

Controlling behaviour by husband!

So no qualifications then, just a personal experience 😂

So no qualifications then, just a personal experience

That’s the best qualification of all.

I think that's a bit sad OP. I live rurally and use the term neighbours with caution as the nearest people to us are a 5 minute walk away. I adore all of my 'neighbours' and we help each other out and pop in for a cuppa anytime if the person is home and not busy. I feel like living next door to someone and not speaking is a bit odd but maybe things are just a bit different in the countryside.

I'd probably make an effort despite her frostiness and see if you can win her over. Maybe she didn't take the invite literally or maybe her hubby didn't pass the message on.

I don't think I've ever said mine is worse than anyone else's. I've said that someone who has experienced it is not qualified in any way, shape or form to comment on anyone else's experiences, especially not to tell them how to be miraculously cured. I agree that it's nothing to do with most of the thread though. You can't argue with stupid, so I will stop trying

Has your therapist personal experience of overcoming it herself? Likely not.

Either way, I’m the one with the last laugh. I’m over it while you’re defending your therapist and unable to answer the front door.

Gosh, what an absolute delight you sound. Laughing at someone because they're severely ill? All I can say is if you got over it that quickly and easily, it wasn't PTSD.

HTH

This, from the poster who called someone a cunt. You were fine with laughing at me - I guess you can give it but you can’t take it.

And if you recall I said it was a ‘slog’.

who has to tel you theyre moving ffs its nobodies business

my old neughbour told me once i dont like getting too chummy with neighbours she was ok but i dont become plly with anyone living so close

I always introduce myself to new neighbours as a matter of courtesy and always extend an open invitation for tea/whatever. Whether or not they then take it up is entirely their choice. I love my current neighbours and I'm grateful to have them. It's horses and courses. You sound like my kind of people, OP. I grew up abroad and found coming to the UK very hard and this thread demos brilliantly one of the reasons why!! We practically live on top of one another and barely know whose head is near ours on the other side of the wall!!

Come one, come all, say I, but I respect the choice to remain completely private as other neighbours of mine do!! Four years and never a hello or a wave and it's ok by me. Live and let live.