Page 12 | To think DD shouldn't have called me at work because of this?

MartaHallard · 14/12/2018 22:31

I wonder how many people saying you should answer the phone and chat joyfully to their daughters would feel the same if it was their midwife,checkout person,anyone serving you in a shop,waiter,teachers...

Or if they were the other person in the meeting and were in the middle of disclosing bullying or harassment in the workplace, or a sensitive health issue?

AGHHHH · 14/12/2018 22:39

Yabu. I'd be ecstatic and it wouldn't occur to me that it wouldn't be a good time to call my mum at work. I'd expect her to ignore the call if she was busy.

Dungeondragon15 · 15/12/2018 11:17

I'd expect her to ignore the call if she was busy.

So if you were in hospital and about to undergo major surgery you would expect your mother to not answer your call? This happened to me once and because I did only phone about emergencies my mother did answer. Ignoring phone calls is not the sign of a great mother.

Dungeondragon15 · 15/12/2018 11:20

Yabu. I'd be ecstatic and it wouldn't occur to me that it wouldn't be a good time to call my mum at work.

Why would you be ecstatic? Unless it is an unconditional offer you still have to get the A level grades which is the rate limiting step for the great majority of people.

Dungeondragon15 · 15/12/2018 11:24

I wonder how many people saying you should answer the phone and chat joyfully to their daughters would feel the same if it was their midwife,checkout person,anyone serving you in a shop,waiter,teachers...

Yep, it makes you wonder what all the people who think it is terrible to only want to receive phone calls if it is an emergency do for a living. It's also ironic that those who would ignore phone calls after telling their DCs to only call in an emergency think that they are such great mothers compared with OP.

SerenDippitty · 15/12/2018 11:36

I think I feel as I do because I can remember the workplace pre mobile phones, all everyone had was a landline on their desk so if they were in a meeting they were effectively incommunicado. If I picked up someone’s phone while they were in a meeting, unless it was really urgent I would just take a message - I wouldn’t dream of interrupting so that they could have a chat about a non urgent personal matter.

AGHHHH · 15/12/2018 15:50

@Dungeondragon15 why are you critiquing every sentence of my post? Jfc it's not a debate.

AGHHHH · 15/12/2018 15:51

And I was going off this sentence

"To say she has heard back from one of her unis and got an offer?"

To say why I'd be ecstatic. It didn't say it was conditional.

AGHHHH · 15/12/2018 15:52

And no you don't always have to get the A level grades. There are other ways.

AGHHHH · 15/12/2018 15:54

So if you were in hospital and about to undergo major surgery you would expect your mother to not answer your call? This happened to me once and because I did only phone about emergencies my mother did answer. Ignoring phone calls is not the sign of a great mother.

Admittedly I hadn't considered all situations, especially not ones which aren't comparable whatsoever in that case I'd be sure to make more than one call.

Worriedmummybekind · 15/12/2018 15:56

My dad worked doing something ‘important’ and high powered when I got my uni offers 15 years ago. I always rang him straight away and he was delighted for me. He would have been annoyed if I hadn’t told him straight away. He never told me if he had to leave a meeting (likely, as I rang 6 different times for the different offers!). His PA and closest colleagues all got told what I’d been offered and would chat to me about it when I saw them. Maybe it was inconvenient for him but he certainly wouldn’t have told me so and was always supportive. So I think you are being really weird about this...

Worriedmummybekind · 15/12/2018 16:11

I should add he didn’t always answer the phone straightaway. I would sometimes leave a message and he would ring or txt me back.

I’m sure there are super important sensitive meetings that people can’t step away from or an emergency/healthcare worker but most jobs aren’t life and death. I assume the OP would say if her job meant she had to step away from brain surgery

Dungeondragon15 · 16/12/2018 16:28

And no you don't always have to get the A level grades. There are other ways.

They have mostly stopped unconditional offers so it very probably does depend on A level results.

Dungeondragon15 · 16/12/2018 16:31

Admittedly I hadn't considered all situations, especially not ones which aren't comparable whatsoever hmm in that case I'd be sure to make more than one call.

What would be the point in making more than one call if you expected it to be ignored? I would never ignore my DDs phone calls so I'm a but surprised that people think that is what OP should have done. I think it would be terrible to tell your DCs to only phone in an emergency but then if they do phone ignore it.

KickAssAngel · 16/12/2018 16:55

I wouldn't expect to leave a meeting for this. I would love to get a text and would text back immediately, but not take a call. In fact, I rarely even have my phone with me at work. I'm not meant to take calls, I have my laptop so can email if something like this comes up, or I check my phone for texts occasionally. If something's important people leave a message or call back, or text.

I'd only leave a meeting if it were 'get to the hospital now' scenario.

We have this thing in our family called talking to each other, face to face, in the evening, when we catch up.

AGHHHH · 16/12/2018 17:14

@Dungeondragon15

A bit of Googling tells me that only a single university in London has stopped unconditional offers.

Which others?

luckylavender · 16/12/2018 17:17

This is a very strange post. You sound very unsupportive OP

Hymen · 16/12/2018 17:19

I’m sure there are super important sensitive meetings that people can’t step away from or an emergency/healthcare worker but most jobs aren’t life and death. I assume the OP would say if her job meant she had to step away from brain surgery

You know this university place the OP's daughter was so excited to be offered? I teach at a university, and I can tell you exactly how unimpressed my students would be if I took a non-emergency personal call in the middle of a lecture, in this climate of high fees translating into an extremely customer-driven HE environment.

AGHHHH · 16/12/2018 17:19

"What would be the point in making more than one call if you expected it to be ignored?"

Nobody expects a call to be ignored... They simply attempt a call and then comes the realisation that it's been ignored after it has been ignored. I wouldn't call someone if I knew they were going to ignore it. :S

I was simply giving my opinion on what I would personally do if I had just received good news. I'd try to call my mum and if she couldn't answer then yeah she can ignore it and that's fine. If it's an emergency? Nobody is 100% contactable, but I'd keep ringing until I could get hold of her. This actually has happened to me anyway.

I wasn't even thinking about emergencies. This thread isn't about emergencies. I was sticking to the actual thread.

AGHHHH · 16/12/2018 17:20

...The point of more than one call is to stress the urgency of it, obviously. Nobody's going to ring and ring and ring for anything other than an emergency. Unless they're nuisance.s

FilthyforFirth · 16/12/2018 17:21

I'm 33 married with a child and I still call my dad at work if I have news! YABU

Butchyrestingface · 16/12/2018 17:26

Unless you were performing open heart surgery OR the girl is constantly calling you out of meetings for trivia, then YAB(V)U.

MamaBear0307 · 16/12/2018 17:26

That’s great news! Well done to your daughter!

I can’t understand why you’d find a problem with this tbh and I hope you didn’t let your DD see how you feel about it