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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DD shouldn't have called me at work because of this?

298 replies

thistleorange · 13/12/2018 15:40

To say she has heard back from one of her unis and got an offer? Not trying to be an arse or unsupportive, but I assumed an emergency, I had to come out of a meeting. Just curious what others thought. Thanks.

OP posts:
PregnantSea · 14/12/2018 02:48

When she goes off to uni she will probably barely contact you at all unless she wants something. Cherish this time you have left

kateandme · 14/12/2018 03:23

oh dear poor daughter of coure she should.i know some work wouldn't allow this more than others but my mum made sure she hade morning/hour off so she could be there with them when updated acceptance page came up.

haha doesn't anyone dm do this.my gran phoned my mum today to tell her her delivery had arrived. "and...AND WOMAN!"

sushisuperstar · 14/12/2018 03:32

I'm personally jealous so many of you see this as such a big thing. My parents didn't give a shit about my degrees never mind bother when I got a place.

StoppinBy · 14/12/2018 03:58

Not trying to be an arse? Hate to see you when you are trying.

You didn't need to answer the phone if you were in a meeting, why would you assume it was an emergency?

How sad for your daughter that she has something she is super excited about and calls you to share that excitement and your only concern is for yourself.

puzzledlady · 14/12/2018 04:05

Yikes. You sound like a bloody awful mother. Your poor daughter was just excited and wanted to tell her mum. I’m glad my mother isn’t like you! Poor form OP. You need to realise that your meetings should never come before your daughter.

lljkk · 14/12/2018 04:44

Sorry you're getting such a bad time, OP.

Ridiculous projection in this thread.

jackio2205 · 14/12/2018 05:11

Life changing news and wants to speak to mum, totally acceptable. If it wasnt fine to speak could have called her back? X

ittakes2 · 14/12/2018 05:14

Are you kidding? How was she to know you were in a meeting. Poor kid - this is huge deal to her and you are annoyed she bothered you. This girl sounds like she needs some attention.

ElsieCat · 14/12/2018 05:33

Not trying to be an arse or unsupportive.

Well you are doing a great job for someone who's not trying.

You sound a bit mean. I don't think you have much understanding of the stress year 13s are under. They manage to put a brave face on it but inwardly they will be feeling very nervous and very stressed by the thought of rejection.

And getting the offers is just the first hurdle - then she has to get the grades. It's a pretty relentless and brutal year. To her it was a huge relief and very big news indeed and she thought it would be for you too. She thought you'd be elated for her and all you can do is moan about being inconvenienced for two minutes. Poor girl. Sad

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 14/12/2018 06:40

You do sound a bit prickly, thistle.

lljkk · 14/12/2018 09:45

(good pun)
Who says it's life changing? Do most applicants get only one offer?

seventhgonickname · 14/12/2018 09:50

My dd would have texted as she knows phoning at work is for emergencies.I rarely answer my phone at work as my job means I can't.
Congratulate her but ask her to text next time as you need your job to help her financially.Make it let get and jokey and she'll get it without you raining on her parade.

seventhgonickname · 14/12/2018 10:02

I wonder how many people saying you should answer the phone and chat joyfully to their daughters would feel the same if it was their midwife,checkout person,anyone serving you in a shop,waiter,teachers...and I have never known a surgeon operating to take a personal call because people who know them leave messages or call their secretary.

PaPica · 14/12/2018 10:13

I wonder how many people saying you should answer the phone and chat joyfully to their daughters would feel the same if it was their midwife,checkout person,anyone serving you in a shop,waiter,teachers

Good point. I guess if the OP was in a meeting with paying customers, then she shouldn't have taken the call. But I'm guessing she wasn't, otherwise she wouldn't have taken the call.

So you're kind of comparing apples to oranges.

YeOldeTrout · 14/12/2018 10:28

Bottom line is OP asked her Dd to only ring in case of 'emergency'. This wasn't an emergency.

Dungeondragon15 · 14/12/2018 11:02

I can see your point OP. I can see that she would perhaps be extremely excited if it was an unconditional offer but I assume that it was only a conditional offer which means she still has to get the A level grades so not that exciting and certainly not an emergency.

Dungeondragon15 · 14/12/2018 11:04

Good point. I guess if the OP was in a meeting with paying customers, then she shouldn't have taken the call. But I'm guessing she wasn't, otherwise she wouldn't have taken the call.

She might do if she thought it was a true emergency!

JustWingingLifeAsUsual · 14/12/2018 11:28

Bless her heart she just wanted to share the best news to her mum. I would be so happy for her and I'm sure work is/would've been totally understandable about it too!

TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers · 14/12/2018 11:51

She was just excited. Be happy for her and be glad she wants to share. Once she's left home you'll be begging for her to call.

KittensAndChristmasCake · 14/12/2018 12:00

but I assume that it was only a conditional offer which means she still has to get the A level grades so not that exciting

And yet exciting enough for OP's Dd to want to call her mum. Who are you to say it's not worthy of her excitement? 😒

Dungeondragon15 · 14/12/2018 15:02

And yet exciting enough for OP's Dd to want to call her mum. Who are you to say it's not worthy of her excitement?

It didn't say it wasn't worthy of her excitement but considering that she hasn't actually been offered a place (it depends on A level results) I don't think it is so exciting that she should have called her mother if she has been told only to do so in emergencies. I wouldn't have called my mother at work about that and nowadays there is even less reason as can text etc.

Lizzie48 · 14/12/2018 17:47

Maybe her DD should have waited to tell her mum the news, especially as calling her out of a meeting made her think it was an emergency. My DH is often in meetings and when my DDs are at an age when they want to share something like this with him, I would tell them to wait.

BUT I can't ever imagine him moaning about it or telling them off for it, or me criticising them on Mumsnet.

It's actually very sweet that the OP's DD was so keen to share her news with her mum and it would be a shame if she was made to feel bad about interrupting the meeting. (I take it she doesn't do it all the time otherwise the OP would have said so.)

GeoEm · 14/12/2018 17:57

Unlike everyone else... yeah. Harsh. Unreasonable.
Maybe MORE understandable if it was an unconditional guarantee but still very exciting news for her.

GeoEm · 14/12/2018 17:58

Oops sorry didn't see everyone else response just first few.
*not unlike everyone else
Glad other people thought it unreasonable

NOTthepinkranger · 14/12/2018 20:21

Your poor child

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