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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas do cheaters!

333 replies

youcanthandlethetruth · 13/12/2018 15:28

Just curious as to whether this is the norm

One woman I work with is having an affair with two married men in our office. Which she and they have since admitted to. Notably was seen getting into a taxi with both following the Christmas do!

On the same night of the Christmas do, another woman kissed a man who just got married last month. Seen kissing a few times in front of everyone! When I asked her about it she said “awk it’s just one of the those things.” She also cheated on her partner earlier in the year with a different man we work with.

Another younger girl who just started in the office last month is also suspected of being overly friendly with another married man. Everyone suspects an affair but this has never been confirmed.

Thing is - none of their partner’s know. I know this for a fact from various conversations throughout the year.

And my male boss has admitted to fancying someone else in our office. He always says that if he got the chance to have a night with her he’d take it (again he has been married for a long time)

Am I the only faithful person out there. How do people do this with no conscience. I would feel wick if I did that on my dp.

OP posts:
onefootinthegrave · 13/12/2018 17:34

jesstan your post is very patronizing. Please learn not to do that!

AdamNichol · 13/12/2018 17:35

My DP is also on his work do this evening and he's in academia. I shall ask him what went on
Be prepared for a lenghty re-run of the debate over some trivial detail of the area of study then........if experience is anything to go by......says ex-academic

dadshere · 13/12/2018 17:36

Teaching is the same, I am never shocked anymore by this.

busybarbara · 13/12/2018 17:40

Some of you live sheltered lives. I'd say just over half of people I know are cheating or have cheated in the past and that just the ones I know about. It is pretty normal but a bit like anal it's not something people admit to in most company!

EmeraldShamrock · 13/12/2018 17:40

I worked in the office for a large facilities company for years. I meet DP through work, we were both single.
I was in shocked at the amount married women having a shag with the young engineers.
There was one pair every year got it on, both married. She gave birth the end of August after an infamous Christmas party.
Her husband was a lovely man.

AutumnMadness · 13/12/2018 17:42

Could I please helpfully re-phrase some of the original post for the sake of gender equality? Otherwise only women (with the exception of the creepy boss) seem to cheat:

"Two married men I work with are having an affair with a woman in our office.

On the same night of the Christmas do, another man who just got married last month kissed a woman. Seen kissing a few times in front of everyone!

Another married man is also suspected of being overly friendly with younger girl who just started in the office last month."

Done!

gingerrubber · 13/12/2018 17:47

@busybarbara 😂😂😂💩

winsinbin · 13/12/2018 17:48

I have worked in places where people have had affairs or an illicit snog at a staff party but the very fact that it’s intereting enough to gossip about or start threads about proves to me that it is out of the ordinary behaviour, not the norm.

If it was the norm the thread would be more along the lines of ‘ my colleague came to the staff party, got a bit tiddly, danced all night and then went home to her DH. What’s her problem?’

PookieDo · 13/12/2018 17:48

Mental health unit - yes was rife

There have been no men at my current workplace for a Long Time so this doesn’t happen.

My ex worked for a developer and their parties were huge, drug filled and usually on to strip clubs. It was a bit sad of 40yo ex on his work night out living it up thinking he’s cool with all the 21yo office juniors he was supposed to be managing

kikisparks · 13/12/2018 17:51

Old law firm was like that. I was horrified. My current firm has not been like that at all, thank god as I find it disgusting, but there’s less chance anyway as it is 90% women and most are young and unmarried.

SocksRock · 13/12/2018 17:52

Our work do was me plus 18 blokes. I'm pretty sure there were no shenanigans!

kenandbarbie · 13/12/2018 17:55

I agree with people saying it's a cultural thing in a company. If thenig boss does it it's more likely for junior staff. My old work everyone was at it, married men and secretaries / graduates. But at my new work there is none of it and it would be frowned upon.

halfwitpicker · 13/12/2018 17:57

So I have my Christmas do this weekend. We get discounted rooms. It's an open bar. There's 900 people going Shock There will be dancing and drinking too. DH will be at home watching the kids.

I fully expect to have men collapsing at my feet.

79andnotout · 13/12/2018 17:58

I'm in sales and can confirm that sales people away at conferences and the like all the time are pretty bad. I have never misbehaved but that may be to do with the complete lack of hot men in my industry more than good moral fibre.

3WildOnes · 13/12/2018 17:58

busybarbara I think one of my friends may have cheated on her husband, when she was hammered one night she mumbled something about occasionally visiting her neighbor when drunk. I never asked her about it so can’t be sure. I don’t know of any other friends having cheated. I guess it possible but I doubt half of them are at it. And I doubt and actual affairs, drunken hookups more likely.

OohBabyBabeh · 13/12/2018 18:01

Every company I've worked for there has been at least 1 confirmed cheater in the office, someone they flirt with in work then cheat with at the Christmas do. It's disgusting and the fact that they don't care that everyone knows, makes it worse. It makes you understand why some people are so paranoid about their partners at work.

aynsleyred · 13/12/2018 18:06

Common where I work too. Happens at every Christmas do. I’m the only one to observe and uphold their marriage vows.

Athena51 · 13/12/2018 18:07

Blimey. I've only ever worked in the public sector where the Christmas do is at lunchtime not the evening and certainly no hotels or overnighters. I'm sure people do have affairs but I'm not aware of it.

It's very tacky and horrible to be so careless of family and relationships.

Cakecrumbs · 13/12/2018 18:19

Not where I work. Big party without partners but never witnessed or heard about any misbehaviour in 10 years

ClaryFray · 13/12/2018 18:19

Its all over the place. I think we're niave to think one person can meet all our needs for 40 odd years.

Orange6904 · 13/12/2018 18:20

They don't. That's why you have hobbies and friends etc.

JaneJeffer · 13/12/2018 18:22

This thread is depressing. Fuck sake what do people get married for?

jimmyjammy001 · 13/12/2018 18:23

It used to be really bad on xmas work nights out around 15 years ago, literally everyone was at it, but since the introduction of camera phones and social media I would say it has died down alot, people now know it won't just be a one night forgotten, it will be around forever, Can never understand people in a relationship who then turn around after cheating and go it was only a one night thing, as if it's o.k and normal, I would end it straight away regardless, they would then think twice in the furture about doing such a thing knowing what the consequences would be after.

Deadbudgie · 13/12/2018 18:28

Works dos are so notorious though, I’m surprised anyone is surprised tbh! I’d say 60-70% of people I know have cheated. It’s the fights that always cause the issues though, there’s always some young guy, not able to handle the free bar that throws a punch (usually over a girl)

Iloveautumnleaves · 13/12/2018 18:40

I’m an Accountant...

It’s ALL about the ‘bottom line’ 🤣