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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas do cheaters!

333 replies

youcanthandlethetruth · 13/12/2018 15:28

Just curious as to whether this is the norm

One woman I work with is having an affair with two married men in our office. Which she and they have since admitted to. Notably was seen getting into a taxi with both following the Christmas do!

On the same night of the Christmas do, another woman kissed a man who just got married last month. Seen kissing a few times in front of everyone! When I asked her about it she said “awk it’s just one of the those things.” She also cheated on her partner earlier in the year with a different man we work with.

Another younger girl who just started in the office last month is also suspected of being overly friendly with another married man. Everyone suspects an affair but this has never been confirmed.

Thing is - none of their partner’s know. I know this for a fact from various conversations throughout the year.

And my male boss has admitted to fancying someone else in our office. He always says that if he got the chance to have a night with her he’d take it (again he has been married for a long time)

Am I the only faithful person out there. How do people do this with no conscience. I would feel wick if I did that on my dp.

OP posts:
shearwater · 13/12/2018 17:15

I copped off with someone once at a Christmas do 20 years ago and ended up marrying him. So think on.

There was a fair bit of it going on in firms I worked for, but the above was the one and only time I snogged someone I worked with. I always thought if I wanted to be taken seriously at work, even when I was single, that it was a pretty unprofessional thing to do.

jessstan2 · 13/12/2018 17:16

It happens. Usually people are more discreet than the ones you know. Plus you said, "partner's"; partner's what? A greengrocer's apostrophe I fear. Please learn not to do that.

Might not be actually having affairs, could just be uninhibited party time which stops at kissing. Not very nice but hardly hanging offences.

BigGirlPants18 · 13/12/2018 17:16

Have to agree with the previous Civil Servants who posted here. I'm sure it does happen, but publicised instances of it happening are rare - at least they are in my office.

I don't go to my overall work Christmas Do. Instead, my team just has a Christmas lunch - - nice meal and a couple of drinks is enough for me.

Thatsalovelycuppatea · 13/12/2018 17:17

@shearwater why on earth did you think you have to give sexual favours to get attention. To me that makes me sad and that you need to get some sort of therapy.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 13/12/2018 17:18

Never marry a police officer unless you work with them on the same shift pattern - they are the absolute worst for copping off (ha!) with each other during nights out

Same goes for Nurses, Doctors and paramedics in my experience. When I worked in NHS hospitals I couldn't believe how incestuous it was and how blasé everyone was about it. It was impossible to keep track of who was sleeping with who.

SleepySofa · 13/12/2018 17:18

Not so much Xmas in my old line of work (academia) but definitely at conferences, especially after the social on the last night. I wasn’t actually seeing anyone when I was a lecturer but I saw it happen with loads of people I knew.

Now I work in a related field and if it happens, it’s under my radar at least. In fact I’ve just left my work Xmas do early to pick up my little boy. I’m almost regretting it now after this thread because I’m wondering if maybe I could have seen my team members cop off with each other!

justalittlebitsad · 13/12/2018 17:20

IME sales driven companies are the worst. Sales people generally seem to think they are God's gift..... Grin

shearwater · 13/12/2018 17:20

why on earth did you think you have to give sexual favours to get attention. To me that makes me sad and that you need to get some sort of therapy

Did you mean me? That's rather a non-sequitur after my last post.

SleepySofa · 13/12/2018 17:20

I think @shearwater is saying the exact opposite, @Thatsalovelycupoftea! That it would be unprofessional to snog people you work with.

MamaLovesMango · 13/12/2018 17:20

Not where I work.

DH was a police officer from leaving college until just recently and he never once went to any Christmas parties or other organised social occasions for this reason. It didn’t stop other officers propositioning him at work though Shock it was grim.

AdamNichol · 13/12/2018 17:21

@shearwater why on earth did you think you have to give sexual favours to get attention. To me that makes me sad and that you need to get some sort of therapy.

She said the opposite to that - that such behaviour (even for a singleton) would be detrimental to her professionalism and being taken seriously in the workplace.

stevie69 · 13/12/2018 17:21

Yep, this sort of thing is absolutely rife in my profession (accountancy). It’s why I would never marry someone in that kind of profession.

Massive generalisation, methinks. I would neither cheat on my own partner (if I had one) nor cavort at Christmas with someone else's. Just sticking up for the maligned accountants Grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/12/2018 17:22

jessstan, Please learn to stop being a dick about SPaG when you haven't been asked.

Andromeida59 · 13/12/2018 17:23

I used to be in politics and people told me (and him) that I was likely to have an affair. They were shocked when my time finished and I hadn't had an affair, kissed or slept with anyone else!

Turniptracker · 13/12/2018 17:25

Notice you focused primarily on the women's actions and not the married mens' actions....

halfwitpicker · 13/12/2018 17:25

Well this is all very interesting.

Shock at the woman leaving with 2 blokes in the op.

halfwitpicker · 13/12/2018 17:25

Turniptracker

^^

Yup turnip, I noticed that too.

WorraLiberty · 13/12/2018 17:26

It happens. Usually people are more discreet than the ones you know. Plus you said, "partner's"; partner's what? A greengrocer's apostrophe I fear. Please learn not to do that.

I reckon the OP should strike a deal.

They can promise not to do that and you can promise not to be an idiot Wink

Andromeida59 · 13/12/2018 17:26

My DP is also on his work do this evening and he's in academia. I shall ask him what went on Grin.

Pigletthedog · 13/12/2018 17:29

Haha @HopefullyAnonymous I can vouch for that

Lynne45 · 13/12/2018 17:30

@turniptracker I was thinking that...

TheFaerieQueene · 13/12/2018 17:30

The ad at the bottom of this thread on my phone is a divorce lawyer!!

LoadOfUtterBoswellocks · 13/12/2018 17:32

Ewh ick, no this is not the norm. Have worked in many companies over 20 years and none have been like this. Or maybe I'm just oblivious as no-one ever asks me for a knee-trembler in the stationery cupboard!

gingerrubber · 13/12/2018 17:33

every mental health ward i've worked on has been rife for affairs with things even happening in work and on every works do someone would upto no good!!! think it's as bad as the police!

ILikTheBred · 13/12/2018 17:34

Ex Big 4 accountant here and will testify that Christmas do hookups were rampant when I was training. However - almost everyone involved was in their 20s, most were single (so not cheating as such), and almost no one was married or had children. Given I know upwards of thirty couples who met and married through that firm you could consider it the tinder of the noughties 😀