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Original poster

Christmas do cheaters!

333 replies

youcanthandlethetruth · 13/12/2018 15:28

Just curious as to whether this is the norm

One woman I work with is having an affair with two married men in our office. Which she and they have since admitted to. Notably was seen getting into a taxi with both following the Christmas do!

On the same night of the Christmas do, another woman kissed a man who just got married last month. Seen kissing a few times in front of everyone! When I asked her about it she said “awk it’s just one of the those things.” She also cheated on her partner earlier in the year with a different man we work with.

Another younger girl who just started in the office last month is also suspected of being overly friendly with another married man. Everyone suspects an affair but this has never been confirmed.

Thing is - none of their partner’s know. I know this for a fact from various conversations throughout the year.

And my male boss has admitted to fancying someone else in our office. He always says that if he got the chance to have a night with her he’d take it (again he has been married for a long time)

Am I the only faithful person out there. How do people do this with no conscience. I would feel wick if I did that on my dp.

OP posts:
JosieJasper · 14/12/2018 23:29

What a great read for all of us in relationships with Police Officers Confused

I’m fine, I trust my DH and have no concerns. Plus he works with an old friend of mine...always handy Grin

SarahE0485 · 14/12/2018 23:40

@JosieJasper haha exactly what I’m thinking!
My husband is a police officer, on his works do 😳

Fuckofffortnite · 14/12/2018 23:44

Medical + Sales Shock
A bad combo for this kind of thing.
I’ve seen it all in my time and the last 10 years has seen people be more under the radar and discrete but it’s still rife.
I’d say that the most devoted family men are (in my experience) the worst, and no one would guess. At work do’s I have (behind closed hotel doors) done unspeakable things that at the time were extremely enjoyable. There was always an understanding that it was sex and not relationship stuff, no marriages were to be damaged.

VladmirsPoutine · 14/12/2018 23:49

Oh dear... I suppose it's all about managing expectations

Thespace · 14/12/2018 23:53

Lots of affairs in teaching and raucous end of term parties.

I worked in a school where each member of the senior management (male) was having an affair with a young woman on the staff and it was common knowledge.

In another school there were several affairs among the staff, all married. Same school, the head had an affair with the geography teacher and they both left their marriages and are still together now.

I know a group of teachers who go on holiday with their married partners in a group each year. Two of them have been having a long term affair and everyone in the group knows apart from their non-teaching partners.

I know three headteachers and a deputy head currently having affairs.

Bestwestpest · 14/12/2018 23:53

Urgh yes, I've seen this in every company I've worked for. Normally the "family men" who would "never cheat" are the worst and the first to letch over the late teens. Part of the reason I will never trust a man again, you just never know. We used to all get sent on a 2 night team event, turned into love island once it got to 6pm Hmm

Bestwestpest · 14/12/2018 23:56

Wrt police officers, years ago my friend went on the residential training to become an officer, she ended up having an affair with 2 married blokes, one who had a baby on the way... No longer a friend btw!!

Thespace · 15/12/2018 00:03

I’ve got a friend who works in Asda and she said they are all at it.

Shockers · 15/12/2018 00:04

Two at once?!

SpiritedLondon · 15/12/2018 00:12

I’d be pretty surprised if there was any police force where it wasn’t reasonably prolific. Uniform response teams tend to have younger officers who experience a lot of high pressure situations together and may well socialise a lot together too. As you become more experienced you move into specialisms where it would be deemed inappropriate to flaunt it (which is not the same as it not happening ).

VanGoghsDog · 15/12/2018 00:26

I used to work in construction and it was pretty rife. But people also assume stuff. One guy I got on well with always got rolling drunk at the parties and at least twice I took him back to my room to sober up, one time he stayed (on the sofa), one time I poured him into a cab a bit later. Nothing ever happened between us, he was married, I was single but we were just colleagues. I'm pretty sure everyone thought we'd got it on though.

Userplusnumbers · 15/12/2018 00:30

This always blows my mind (I've not read the thread) but when I was single, I used to operate on the 'don't shit where you eat' rule - so colleagues were off limits, saved lots of drama.

MaryDollNesbitt · 15/12/2018 00:33

I used to work in a supermarket in years gone by and I can assure you, the male attitudes were fucking disgusting. Think older, married men with kids constantly likening the young girls being recruited for checkouts as a 'buffet'. It was vomit inducing.

I'm so happy I work from home now. No more awkward next day encounters with - mostly - men in managerial positions acting like you didn't see them cheating on their wives at the Christmas do. Sad

Augusta2012 · 15/12/2018 00:43

How do people know these people are having affairs? Do they start going at it on the table during board meetings?

I suspect half of these things are just gossip.

Thespace · 15/12/2018 00:53

How do you know? Disappearing off together, snogging/groping/all over each other, being discovered in a hidden corridor (stumbled on one affair that way,) going home together, the affair continuing in the workplace eg extra meetings, locked classrooms, eventually leaving their partners and setting up home together, getting married to affair partner.

Some people are secretive about it (everyone seems to know though) but others are open or brazen.

HestiaParthenos · 15/12/2018 00:57

One woman I work with is having an affair with two married men in our office. Which she and they have since admitted to. Notably was seen getting into a taxi with both following the Christmas do

Oh, well, as long as the men are married to each other, I don't see a problem there. Xmas Grin

Sorry. Just had to crack that joke.

MiggledyHiggins · 15/12/2018 01:03

Im married to an engineer. He didn't want to go to his today. He left as soon as he could. I think that engineers are a bit introverted and used to be mostly men.

I do know they are moving away from night time functions.

Catsinthecupboard, Engineering sector here too. Our do is a late lunch followed by a free bar for the night and we are Irish, so a free bar can be a dangerous thing! I've not seen any shenanigans, but a lot of our blokes would be very introverted and the most the free bar would do is make them chatty. There's been a few couples that got together via work but they were all single. There's been no scandals or wild behaviour.

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 15/12/2018 01:05

I've personally never known it anywhere I worked or at least not as rife. You do get the odd one or two people who would or do cheat on their partners but one place I worked at if you were involved in a relationship with another member of staff the management had to be notified. The people who were cheaters none of it was at parties. I personally think it inherently wrong that it's actually encouraged in some companies and as for on the morality standpoint as wrong as wrong gets.
To be honest, I never attend work parties. The only one I did attend,for me personally was a disaster. People behave a lot more uninhibited at them and in ways that would be unacceptable elsewhere.
If there's any time that resentment and hatred spills out then then staff parties are the place where it happens.
Oh and getting involved with a work colleague it very rarely works out. Don't take the risk as it can backfire spectacularly.
But the people doing that OP where you work I'd be disgusted with also. I'd feel sorry for their partners.

Bestwestpest · 15/12/2018 01:18

Yep, 2 at once!

Where I've worked, it's been freely admitted, almost bragged about. Safe in the knowledge no work mate would ever stir the pot. It's vile IMO

OrigamiZoo · 15/12/2018 01:21

In the era of the smartphone, nothing is secret so what was once kept on tour can now be shared in the blink of an eye. Just saying!

LizzieSiddal · 15/12/2018 07:21

We work in an industry which i think people would assume was rife with affairs, but it really isn’t.
Mind you Dh and I run our own company, it’s a small industry and we’d never employ someone with a reputation for affairs, no matter how good they are, at their job.

yesitwasyou · 15/12/2018 07:40

I have worked for a number of Big 4 accountancy firms and believe me they are rife. I wouldn't trust any of them after having numerous men who I considered to be sensible religious family men to be up for it at any chance. It's disgusting and not something I would ever get involved in. These people are selfish self centred knobs and I only wish their spouses would find out and kick them back in to the gutter where they belong.

GnomeDePlume · 15/12/2018 07:47

At work we are now dealing with the fallout of a serial cheater's actions becoming public knowledge.

The lies told, the inattention to work, the pressure put on colleagues to not spill the beans. All the plates he was keeping spinning are all coming crashing down.

He has gone, his marriage is over. Those left behind are having to pick up the pieces and work out the truth from the lies. Loyalties are being questioned.

It isnt a harmless bit of fun.

Littlecaf · 15/12/2018 07:47

When I’ve worked in private corporate companies, it’s been rife at work socials etc. When I’ve worked in the public sector (Local govt) it does happen but not as much. Less money/no free bar/more older people in relationships maybe? (More respect, less sexism, more female managers, more family atmosphere, less opportunity etc)

LizzieSiddal · 15/12/2018 07:55

The lies told, the inattention to work, the pressure put on colleagues to not spill the beans. All the plates he was keeping spinning are all coming crashing down.

This is why we never employ people with a reputation for being unfaithfully. These people are liars and in my mind, why should this trait only be confined to relationships?