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Original poster

Christmas do cheaters!

333 replies

youcanthandlethetruth · 13/12/2018 15:28

Just curious as to whether this is the norm

One woman I work with is having an affair with two married men in our office. Which she and they have since admitted to. Notably was seen getting into a taxi with both following the Christmas do!

On the same night of the Christmas do, another woman kissed a man who just got married last month. Seen kissing a few times in front of everyone! When I asked her about it she said “awk it’s just one of the those things.” She also cheated on her partner earlier in the year with a different man we work with.

Another younger girl who just started in the office last month is also suspected of being overly friendly with another married man. Everyone suspects an affair but this has never been confirmed.

Thing is - none of their partner’s know. I know this for a fact from various conversations throughout the year.

And my male boss has admitted to fancying someone else in our office. He always says that if he got the chance to have a night with her he’d take it (again he has been married for a long time)

Am I the only faithful person out there. How do people do this with no conscience. I would feel wick if I did that on my dp.

OP posts:
mydogisthebest · 14/12/2018 18:05

Porla, I am not sure I think "cheating is the norm nowadays". Yes, a lot of people are unfaithful but all my family and almost all my friends think it is wrong.

My nieces and nephews range in age from 22 to 32 (all either married or with a long term partner) and I know they all think cheating is wrong. They talk about the affairs going on at their workplaces with disgust.

I don't think fidelity in long term relationships is that rare either

MrsBombastic · 14/12/2018 18:15

This behaviour is rife in the NHS and not just at Christmas.

It's generally assumed that if you smile at someone you're fair game so I've turned bitchy resting face into an art form.

I work in an all female team currently (thank god) so I'm relatively safe but I have been persued vigorously by male colleagues in the past, even though their wives work in the Trust.

Disgraceful.

caringcarer · 14/12/2018 18:19

MY dh came home early from a Xmas do last year and I was surprised. His secret Santa had bought him en edible g sting with sweets on it in a box. He bought his person a travel mug with some hand creme in he knew she uses. Everyone laughed when he opened his and thought it very funny. Then later in the evening a woman who was really drunk asked him if he wanted her to model it for him. He came home rather sheepishly clutching said g string in box. It came in useful as got re-gifted by my teenage son gave it to a friend for his 18th along with a bottle.

Piffpaffpoff · 14/12/2018 18:20

When I worked in a large Bank, so many married people were shagging - i wouldn’t even call it affairs, it was just regular hook-ups at conventions and such. It made me really uncomfortable (particularly when I knew three separate women all shagging the same senior guy).

BG2015 · 14/12/2018 18:20

I'm in Education- no affairs where I work. It's very dull on that front

caringcarer · 14/12/2018 18:21

Sorry clicked too soon. He eventually found out it was the same female who had been his secret Santa. We just wondered if he had given that sort of gift to a female colleague it would have been seen as sexual harassment.

ReanimatedSGB · 14/12/2018 18:21

Not uncommon. As PP have said, sometimes it's because a high-stress environment means people form closer bonds with their colleagues than with outsiders; sometimes it's just a matter of too much free drink and the opportunity being there.
Mostly it's to do with the fact that monogamy is unnatural and overrated, unless you actually have a fetish for it. Do what works for you and keep your beak out of other people's business, though.

cigarettessuffragettesandboys · 14/12/2018 18:22

When I lived in Scotland to work for a big insurance company - it was rife there. Not just Xmas dos either. Even at Friday night pints.

There was one woman who was proud that she’d “slept her way to the top.” I lost count of the number of guys she had a grope/shag with. Her boyfriend and dc have no idea.

It always shocked me how the middle aged overweight men really thought they were something special. They’d be all over all the young beautiful girls that started working there and what’s worse a lot of the girls actually went for it! No idea why they had nothing going for them.

Even people who seemed lovely were at it. One guy who was excitedly gushing to me about his new wife and their beautiful baby one minute - the next I find out he’s at it with one of our colleagues. He ended up leaving his wife for her when the baby turned 1.

It was about 50% of the office that were at it. No exaggeration. The whole thing is completely grim.

ReanimatedSGB · 14/12/2018 18:24

I was recently taking notes at a discipinary meeting where someone had 'behaved inappropriately' during a social evening with colleagues. To my utter, utter frustration no one would say what this person had actually done (the person just kept saying 'I don't recall, I can't remember...). So I don't know if it was snogging, fighting, thieving or bad language...

GoblinsAndGhouls · 14/12/2018 18:27

I used to work in the Estates Dept of a large hospital. I was all paid up to go to the Christmas 'do' and was asked by the office manager who I was hoping to 'get with' on the Christmas night out.

I said, no one as I had a boyfriend and they all laughed at me and said they were all married - as were all the men (the accountants... Wink ) - and it was ok because they only ever got together at the Christmas 'do'. And that it was kind of expected that I would too. They told me which men were available. The youngest was twice my age!

I didn't go to the Christmas 'do' in the end and I found a new job before the following Christmas.

thereallifesaffy · 14/12/2018 18:30

I am agog at this thread! OH is going to a conference on Monday and I am now thinking about it in a new light!

Shockers · 14/12/2018 18:31

This completely shocked me when I worked for a newspaper- they were all at it!

Now I work with vulnerable children, and although our team are very close to one another, and provide emotional support constantly, we are all very respectful when it comes to boundaries.

Rudgie47 · 14/12/2018 18:35

The Police I think have the worst reputation for bad behaviour at works dos. One hotel I know has banned all Police parties after they totally trashed the place.

One of my friends used to work in a pub and she again the Police were bringing back working girls and doing drugs openly on the tables!

Custardee · 14/12/2018 18:36

The absolute worst for that sort of behaviour on the workplace is the police!!

Custardee · 14/12/2018 18:37

*in
And Rudgie47 we think alike!!

queenofgoogle · 14/12/2018 18:37

I used to work for a big media company and there were so many affairs it was ridiculous(ironic considering the name of the company,).
I once went into one of their call centres to deliver a training presentation and I saw the manager kissing a girl half his age, I recognised him because I know his wife as they live in the same small town as meSad, turns out he had had a few affairs with girls who had worked in the call centre. I also got told that their Xmas parties ended with people going home with each other whilst their partners were at home waiting for them (granted most of the people at the call centres were under 25 however that's no excuse)

jessebuni · 14/12/2018 18:41

Unfortunately it does seem pretty common. Horrid though. My husband and I don’t go to work Christmas parties for this reason. We go together or not at all. If we did want to spice things up with someone else it would also be together or not at all.

Rudgie47 · 14/12/2018 18:53

One place I worked at one of the women in her 40s was having an affair with a guy in his early 20. On the guys wedding day( not to her) she was invited but couldn't mentally hack attending.
So to be dramatic and make a viable excuse she torched her own car in the drive, by throwing petrol on it and setting it a blaze. Then she tried to pin the blame on one of the males on her caseload!.

BettyBitchface · 14/12/2018 18:55

I used to have a manager who was married, had an affair with a woman from work, wife found out and divorced him.

He married his mistress from work, she left that workplace.

He started an affair with another woman from work, mistress now wife was shocked he'd done it again.

Divorced, married mistress two.

He was an absolute piece of shit.

Don't even know how he managed it.
He must've had a massive dick or loads of money or something because he was a charmless bellend who really did look like the Chuckle Brother the rest of them would have hidden chained up in the attic.

ForalltheSaints · 14/12/2018 19:01

Not the norm where I work but it is in plenty of other places. Though if you are a sex pest and a Tory MP you will have your credentials re-instated if it is politically convenient.

tomhazard · 14/12/2018 19:09

I wish I had not read this when my dh is on his work do!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/12/2018 19:18

At the end of it all, if your husband/wife is going to cheat on you, they're going to cheat on you. They don't give a fuck about you or their children and it doesn't matter a jot what they do for a living.

My husband is out tonight for his works do, staying overnight in a hotel even though it's fairly local. Lots of them do. I don't expect him to cheat and I don't think he would. If he did it wouldn't be an indictment on me, just him.

All this hand-wringing is a bit pointless.

Mayrhofen · 14/12/2018 19:22

It used to be like this in my office (well known company everyone has heard of) but it all died out in the nineties. Does it still go on?

We've are far too politically correct in everything we do these days.

Ofthread · 14/12/2018 19:24

Ew, the idea of sleeping with anyone I work with. Envy

OneWomanMan1 · 14/12/2018 19:27

I think that is the biggest cop out in the world. Things don’t just happen - either they go unsatisfied with there life in some way and have a low moral centre and alcohol reduces their inhibitions or they actively plan to do it. This thread has a collection of stories but no balance to it. Reading this you’d think everyone (and in this I’m mostly talking about guys) just sleeps around or fools around with anyone in the office married or not. That is not my experience at all and I work for an events business where people are away from home a lot. In 8 years I’ve seen only a tiny handful of sleazy guys trying it on and were successful 0 times.

I can understand that some people do cheat but not to the extent that’s being suggested here. My DW put me onto this thread after I showed her pictures of my work night out - including ones where I was chatting to a colleague but it looks like we’re making out or something similar. If she wasn’t confident in our marriage she might have gotten upset or think I’ve cheated when I’m reality nothing has or ever would happen. Call me a liar or naive but if you love someone and want it to work why would you even risk it?

Rant over.

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